My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Club
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Back at the train station, Pete was waiting to go to a meeting.

Pete: *Checking clock*
Percy: *stops inspection car on platform* Pete, we have something important to tell you!
Pete: Alright, but get that car out of the way. A train could be coming here soon.
Percy: *Moving inspection car out of way*
Pete: *Goes to bench, and sits on it*
Percy & Jeff: *Walk onto station platform*
Pete: What is it?
Percy: We were fixing track on Sherman Hill, like you told us to do, but some ponies in the mafia came, and attacked us.
Pete: That can't be good. We need to fix that track right away. If we don't get it fixed, we can't get any trains to go up the hill.
Jeff: We're aware of that Pete. Now, how do we stop those gangsters?
Pete: You mean the mafia?
Jeff: Same thing.
Pete: I know a good friend that can help us. I'll go call him right now. *Goes to office*
Stylo: Jeff, do you have any money that I can borrow?
Jeff: Why do you want to borrow money?
Stylo: Pierce keeps winning it from me in poker.
Jeff: Can't you quit?
Stylo: No. I need that money back now.
Jeff: I can't help you.
Stylo: Aw, please?
Jeff: Nope.

Meanwhile in Pete's office

Pete: Hello, Michael?
Michael: Pete? What's up?
Pete: I have to cancel our meeting. The mafia is attacking us, and we need to fix some track.
Michael: Okay. What time do you want to postpone the meeting to?
Pete: Next friday sounds good.
Michael: Okay. Good luck with those gangsters.
Pete: Mafia.
Michael: Same thing. *Hangs up*
Pete: Now, to make another call. *Dialing number*
Magnum: *Answers phone* Hello.
Pete: Magnum, it's me Pete Reimer.
Magnum: Peter! How are you my friend?
Pete: Not too bad, but I have a problem. The mafia is attacking us, and they won't let us fix this section of track on Sherman Hill. We need help.
Magnum: Why not call the police?
Pete: They keep getting killed. We need something better then Cheyenne's Finest.
Magnum: How about a tank?
Pete: A tank?! You're crazy.
Magnum: Relax. There's going to be no ammo for the guns. Just drive up to them, scare them, and they won't bother you at all.
Pete: What kind of tank did you have in mind?
Magnum: A Sherman. I was just fixing this tank that got back from Korea last year. You can have it in thirty minutes.
Pete: Sure. Thanks. *Hangs up*
Hawkeye: *arrives* Percy told me you were having trouble with the mafia.
Pete: Relax, I got the problem to get rid of those scumbags.
Hawkeye: Did you call the cops?
Pete: No. Even better.
Hawkeye: The police?!
Pete: No. A friend of mine is going to bring in a Sherman tank.
Hawkeye: You have really gone crazy.
Pete: Nope. It wasn't my idea.
Hawkeye: You're still crazy.
Pete: Bullshit. Now get out of here, I'm going to make an announcement.
Hawkeye: *Leaves office*
Pete: *On speaker* Attention everypony. A tank will be here in thirty minutes. Under no circumstances are you to touch it. I will use it to scare away the mafia, and then it goes back to it's rightful owner. Do not go near the tank at all!

Everypony understood, but Gordon and Coffee Creme were not around to hear the message. They would arrive at the station from Kimball Nebraska.

2 B continued
Sherman tank (Ammunition not included)
Sherman tank (Ammunition not included)
added by Dragon-88
Source: Tate, as shown on the pic. Found on Derpibooru.
#1: THE POKEMON STORY:
WE WERE WARNED. For months Rob told us there was a spirit-shattering tale of Pokemon-y wrongness out there, and we laughed at him. He said it was the worst fan fiction he’d seen, and we waved him off. We taunted him, begged him to fucking show it. We were so innocent then. How could we know? How could we possibly prepare ourselves for the depths this story would go to?

The Pokemon story went to lengths as bad as Lara Croft and Squick, but it did it in the lovingly cutesy world of Pokemon. This, frankly, was bad enough to put it at the top of the list. The things that...
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