Well, been getting some ideas on how this ends, and they're pretty funny. Here is the end to the three parts of this adventurous story!

Me: What IS that noise?

AJ: Ah don't hear nuthin'......

Me: Shhh! Sounds like a squeaky toy of some sort. Sounds like....

Lyra: HEY!! How ya doin?


Me: Gahhh!! LYRA!


AJ: What the buck are ya doin' here?

Lyra: It's Rainbow Dash! She's lying on the ground, nobody knows what to do, and the princess is away on royal business! And Soarin' is on vacation for some reason!

Me: On my way! I'm not letting her go! AJ, stay and watch the house!

AJ: Got git 'em, Tiger!

Lyra: He's a pony...

AJ: SHUT UP!!

Me: (approaching Rainbow Dash) It's ok, guys, she'll be fine!

I checked her heartbeat. Yep, she was still alive. I found out she was choking on something.

Me: I can't believe I'm gonna "kiss" her in front of everypony!

I pressed my lips against hers and brought air into her body, followed by chest presses. I picked her up and squeezed her.

Me: C'mon, Dash, breathe! Maybe a few more thrusts...

Then Rainbow coughs, spitting out a piece of cupcake.

Rainbow: You saved me! You are so cool! Thank you! *kisses me*

Me: *blushes* Just being a friend!

Pinkie: Hey, how about a picture of you two? Dash and the pony who saved her life, Mark!

I was photographed with Dash doing a hoofbump. Pinkie ran to make copies-and everyone wanted my signature.

AJ: How'd it go?

Me: I'm a hero! And a celebrity-sort of!

Lyra: That's great!

Me: (eyeing Lyra) I...

Lyra *squees* (smiling) Bye! I gotta tell Bon Bon!

Me: Please don't!

*Doorbell rings*

AJ: AH GOT IT!!

Derpy: Mail for the hero! Is that him over there!?

Me: (doing perfect Steve Irwin impression) Crikey!!

I take off out the door, with Derpy chasing me. She was fond of heroes...

Me: If I hug you, will you leave me alone?

Derpy: Um...Derp!

Me: Close enough.

We hug, and she goes home. I return tired and very annoyed.

AJ: Here's yer mail! That was some chase!

Me: (reading the mail) Some mares never learn....What!? Celestia wants to interview me about my heroic action? Now?

Later, a few hours after the somewhat personal interview....

Me: Oh my Celestia! All the mares and fillies in Ponyville were there! And they kept looking at me! Good thing she put up a magic barrier! Trixie almost got through though...

AJ: Even Trixie attended? Wow. What the hay was up with them? Ever thought about staying here?

Me: Well, all my stuff from the real world is here, so yes. It's better here, where you can be friends with anyone!

So that ends the three-part story. Was that good? Maybe I'll come up with a "After 'Me in Ponyville' " segment!