After a year and almost five months, it's still a bit on the difficult side to admit to my heart that Michael is no longer here physically. I never had the chance to tell that I honestly loved him when he was here and I completely regret it. I kept my love for him locked inside my heart, I never let it out. I wish I did, I utterly wish I did. There is so much I wish I had told everyone who walked in my direction, let the words flow. But I was afraid... afraid of what they'd say. I'm not saying this in the way that I was embarrassed to like Michael. I'm saying this in the way that the ones who threw stones (despised Michael)... well I didn't want to get stones thrown at me and watch stones thrown at Michael. I didn't listen to his music as much as I wanted... I was soaked up by what my parents wanted me to listen to - country music (Don't get me wrong, I adore country music!). I also feel I wronged Michael. My insecurity when I was younger overcame me and I wanted to feel better about myself. I said something wrong about Michael a couple of times, "He's scary! I'm going to have a nightmare!" I hate myself for saying this, especially when I never meant it. It's just that I had gotten teased so much when I was younger, about my nose, about hair, and about my stomach. I know this isn't an excuse, but it's true. I insulted myself when I completely figured out what I had said about Michael was disgusting. He was human, his heart bled so easily, he had feelings, and I wasn't mature enough to exactly realize that. But I still loved him, and I do now.
Katherine Jackson told Oprah Winfrey ... it was Dr. Conrad Murray himself who broke the news that Michael Jackson was dead.
1108_katherine_jackson_oprah_video
On an episode of "Oprah" airing today, Katherine explained how everyone at the hospital was reluctant to tell her what happened to her son.
She says Dr. Murray took so long in explaining things ... she had to cut him off, saying, "'Well, what happened? How is he? Did he make it?' And he said, 'No, he's gone.'"
See also
* Katherine Jackson's Partner -- My Bad!
* Katherine Jackson's Partner Backtracks on 'New' Song
* Rift in Michael Jackson's Family Over Song
1108_katherine_jackson_oprah_video
On an episode of "Oprah" airing today, Katherine explained how everyone at the hospital was reluctant to tell her what happened to her son.
She says Dr. Murray took so long in explaining things ... she had to cut him off, saying, "'Well, what happened? How is he? Did he make it?' And he said, 'No, he's gone.'"
See also
* Katherine Jackson's Partner -- My Bad!
* Katherine Jackson's Partner Backtracks on 'New' Song
* Rift in Michael Jackson's Family Over Song
Caroline went at his mum's house to see if he was there.. She knocked.. His mum opened.
Caroline:"Hello Mr.s Balzan.. is your son here?"
Mr.Balzan:"Hello Caroline.. Bernard went at the bar next door.. he's probabbly there.."
Caroline said:"Thank u Mr's Balzan"
Caroline froze.. what was he doing at the bar.. why did he lie to her? Was there something to know?
She went at the bar.. then she had a deep shock.. Bernard was with another girl.. they held eachother's hands.. Caroline was just desperate.. she ran away crying.. not knowing what to do.. She ran away crying... Then she stood on a pave ment thinking.. "what had just happened to me?" she said.. She was still sobbing..
Caroline:"Hello Mr.s Balzan.. is your son here?"
Mr.Balzan:"Hello Caroline.. Bernard went at the bar next door.. he's probabbly there.."
Caroline said:"Thank u Mr's Balzan"
Caroline froze.. what was he doing at the bar.. why did he lie to her? Was there something to know?
She went at the bar.. then she had a deep shock.. Bernard was with another girl.. they held eachother's hands.. Caroline was just desperate.. she ran away crying.. not knowing what to do.. She ran away crying... Then she stood on a pave ment thinking.. "what had just happened to me?" she said.. She was still sobbing..
TMZ has learned tons of Michael Jackson fans are descending upon MJ's tomb on the 1-year anniversary of his death -- even though they've been banned from the mausoleum.
As we previously reported, Forest Lawn Cemetery -- where Jackson is entombed -- claims they've adopted a new policy in which security is instructed to remove anyone hanging out in front of the King of Pop's mausoleum.
But a rep for Justice4MJ -- the fan group organizing the mass pilgrimage -- tells TMZ they are "absolutely" still going to visit the singer's burial place on the big day .. June 25th.
A rep for Forest Lawn tells us they have not yet figured out how they plan to handle the MJ anniversary ... but they will work with the Jackson family and abide by their wishes.
As for the MJ fans, one member of the group tells us, "Nothing will stop us from being with MJ on the 25th!"
As we previously reported, Forest Lawn Cemetery -- where Jackson is entombed -- claims they've adopted a new policy in which security is instructed to remove anyone hanging out in front of the King of Pop's mausoleum.
But a rep for Justice4MJ -- the fan group organizing the mass pilgrimage -- tells TMZ they are "absolutely" still going to visit the singer's burial place on the big day .. June 25th.
A rep for Forest Lawn tells us they have not yet figured out how they plan to handle the MJ anniversary ... but they will work with the Jackson family and abide by their wishes.
As for the MJ fans, one member of the group tells us, "Nothing will stop us from being with MJ on the 25th!"
Certainly the will stipulates that the money, the children will get when they reach 30 years of age. By then, of course, the interest amount will exceed 300 million dollars!! Not bad ...
The mother of Michael Jackson gets 40% of its assets, while the remainder will go to charitable institutions.
Naturally, Jacko did not leave anything to his father, which had no good relationships, but none of the siblings.
Originally posted May 15th 2010 10:14 AM PDT by TMZ Staff
TMZ has learned Dr. Conrad Murray may have saved a life this morning ... 30,000 feet above the ground.
Sources tell TMZ Murray was on a US Air flight from Houston to Phoenix when a flight attendant came over the loudspeaker and asked if there was a doctor on board.
Turns out a passenger fainted and could not be revived. We're told Murray jumped out of his seat, evaluated the female passenger (who was in her 20s and traveling with a baby), and quickly noticed she had a "very weak pulse."
Somehow -- don't ask us -- Murray inserted an IV and was able to stabilize the passenger until the plane made an emergency landing in Albuquerque.
The passenger was taken for further treatment. Her condition is not known.
Read more: link
TMZ has learned Dr. Conrad Murray may have saved a life this morning ... 30,000 feet above the ground.
Sources tell TMZ Murray was on a US Air flight from Houston to Phoenix when a flight attendant came over the loudspeaker and asked if there was a doctor on board.
Turns out a passenger fainted and could not be revived. We're told Murray jumped out of his seat, evaluated the female passenger (who was in her 20s and traveling with a baby), and quickly noticed she had a "very weak pulse."
Somehow -- don't ask us -- Murray inserted an IV and was able to stabilize the passenger until the plane made an emergency landing in Albuquerque.
The passenger was taken for further treatment. Her condition is not known.
Read more: link
Co-executor John Branca tells TMZ, the first show will open in fall of 2011 -- and will travel throughout North America including the Staples Center in L.A. ... the same venue where MJ's memorial was held.
The show will be heavily focused on dancing -- honoring the legendary moves of MJ. It will also feature Jackson's songs and have the trademark Cirque du Soleil acrobatics.
In 2012, a second show -- in partnership with MGM MIRAGE -- will open in Las Vegas which will be far more theatrical with emphasis on technology and 3D. "It will be a theme-park-like show," says Branca.
Sources say the shows will be worth a fortune to the estate. Cirque and the estate will split costs and profits 50-50.
The Michael Jackson estate just laid the smack down on a bunch of Michael Jackson wannabes -- all over access to Neverland.
The wannabes are actually in a Michael Jackson tribute band named "Neverland" -- a name the MJ estate feels is a violation of its trademark.
Long story short -- the MJ estate wrote a scary legal letter demanding the band change its name ... and it did ... to Foreverland.
Here's the catch -- "Foreverland" still owns the rights to the domain name neverlandsf.com -- and its willing to give it back to Camp Jackson ... for a cool $30,000.
In short, the Jackson estate told the band to "beat it" -- and gave them until February 2011 to begin forwarding all web traffic to the new foreverlandsf.com ... or else.
The band tells us they're currently going over their options.
"Lawyers from the Jackson estate have forced us to change our name."
The wannabes are actually in a Michael Jackson tribute band named "Neverland" -- a name the MJ estate feels is a violation of its trademark.
Long story short -- the MJ estate wrote a scary legal letter demanding the band change its name ... and it did ... to Foreverland.
Here's the catch -- "Foreverland" still owns the rights to the domain name neverlandsf.com -- and its willing to give it back to Camp Jackson ... for a cool $30,000.
In short, the Jackson estate told the band to "beat it" -- and gave them until February 2011 to begin forwarding all web traffic to the new foreverlandsf.com ... or else.
The band tells us they're currently going over their options.
"Lawyers from the Jackson estate have forced us to change our name."
You believed you were alone
That no one truly loved you
You can try to hide your pain from me
But I feel it either way
When your heart breaks, so does mine
Does that tell you how I feel
When I'm upset I look to you
Your smile makes it all vanish
No one else can make that happen
The world took so much away from you
But they'll never take away your memory
Its one thing we'll always have
You never knew me
You'll never know my love
Of maybe you already do
For I always feel you near
You're gone from me mortally
But my heart will always remember you
My heart mourns for losing you
Yet it rejoices for your homecoming in heaven
You're far away, yet you're where you belong
You're smiling down on all of us each day
I believe you've forgiven me for the past
And the future I see only increases my love for you undying.
That no one truly loved you
You can try to hide your pain from me
But I feel it either way
When your heart breaks, so does mine
Does that tell you how I feel
When I'm upset I look to you
Your smile makes it all vanish
No one else can make that happen
The world took so much away from you
But they'll never take away your memory
Its one thing we'll always have
You never knew me
You'll never know my love
Of maybe you already do
For I always feel you near
You're gone from me mortally
But my heart will always remember you
My heart mourns for losing you
Yet it rejoices for your homecoming in heaven
You're far away, yet you're where you belong
You're smiling down on all of us each day
I believe you've forgiven me for the past
And the future I see only increases my love for you undying.