January 29, 2016,

I asked "are you sure you don't want me to stay a few more days?" Kyle said "trust me AJ; I've got everything under control! Let's just enjoy our last night together before you leave tomorrow on tour." I sat down on the bed and said "I was really excited to leave; but now I'm a little worried!" Kyle asked as he put our four month old daughter Addison on to the changing table "worried? Why? You can trust me with Carter and Addison while you're gone!" I said "it's not that that am worried about! I'm so used to you keeping me under control and out of trouble! It's pretty much going to be just me on my own for nine months! I'll be lucky if my manager even talks to me more than once a day! That leaves a lot of time for me to get into trouble! That's what I am worried about!" He said "I know that you're worried about that; but just remember what you have to come home to! Two children that love you and a husband that would do anything for you!" I asked "promise that you'll have the nursery painted and decorated by the time I get back?" Kyle rolled his eyes and said "yes babe; I promise!" I asked "promise me that the house will not be a disaster when I come home in nine months?" He said "I can't guarantee that the house will be perfect when you get back; but it'll be decent." I shut off the light on the nightstand and Kyle asked "you're going to sleep already?" I said "yeah; I have a long nine months ahead of me of lots of work; I need my rest." He said seeming disappointed "okay; I understand." I asked "why? What's wrong? Did you want me to stay awake?" He said "no; nevermind." I said "okay" and rolled over as I turned the TV on.

January 30, 2016,

I woke up and noticed that it was still dark outside. I looked over at the clock which said 4 AM on it and realized that I wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep. I got out of bed and walked down the hallway and into Carter's room. As he slept I climbed into bed and laid next to him. I looked at how peaceful he was and then looked around his bedroom. There were posters of the Power Rangers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, SpongeBob SquarePants, and Star Wars all over the walls. It kind of reminded me of what this bedroom looked like when it was my room.

I chuckled as I stared at Carter's tiny feet sticking out from the bottom of his blanket and I carefully slipped his feet under the covers. I kissed his forehead and made my way downstairs. I went into the kitchen and got a bowl out of the dishwasher. I grabbed a box of Lucky charms out of the pantry and sat down on the living room couch after pouring myself something to eat.

I turned on the TV and flipped through the channels. I noticed "Michael Jackson's this is it" was playing on MTV and decided to watch it; even though there was only about two minutes left before it ended. Just as it switched to the channel, the words "dedicated to Prince, Paris, and Prince Michael the second a.k.a. Blanket” flashed across the screen. I paused the TV and looked up to the sky as I said "I hope I'm doing the right thing by going on tour again dad! I have a bad feeling about this! I have too much going for me to mess it all up! My family is counting on me; but you know how Hollywood is! They chew you up and spit you out faster than you can defend yourself!"

I was interrupted by Kyle asking "who are you talking to?" I asked "what are you doing up?" He said "I got up to go to the bathroom and noticed that you weren't there next to me in bed." I said "I really don't know if I should leave! I have a really bad feeling about this! I wish you could go with me!" He said as he sat down next to me "I wish we could to; but Carter's too busy with school right now and Addison is still really small. It just wouldn't be a good idea to subject her to all those germs with her weak immune system. Maybe when the kids are older we can go with you next time." I sighed and said "I don't know if there's going to be a next time Kyle." Kyle asked confused "what do you mean?" I said "TBS called and they want to make a reality show about our life after the tour is over. I agreed to do it because I just want to be able to make money without having to go anywhere. I put my life into our family! I just think that the superstar years are behind me!" Kyle asked "do you hear yourself right now? Being a famous musician was your dream ever since you were a little kid! You can't just throw all the hours you put into it away! I know once you get back out on that stage that you'll find yourself again! You're losing touch with who you are and you need to spend some time putting yourself first; instead of everyone else! I know you love all three of us; but you need a break and the best break for you right now is the music!"

I kissed Kyle and got off of the couch and said "I guess you're right." He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist as I stood at the kitchen sink. He said "I know I'm right!" I said as he kissed my neck several times "I'm going to miss you so much!" He whispered seductively in my ear "you don't leave for another two hours!" I playfully bit my lip and asked "so; what are you suggesting?"

Kyle picked me up and threw me over his shoulder as he ran up the stairs. I whispered "be quiet; I don't want to wake the kids up because if Carter knows I'm leaving he'll throw a huge separation anxiety induced fit!" Kyle tossed me on the bed in our bedroom and shut the door as I asked "what are you doing?" He turned on the water in the shower that was over our huge Jacuzzi tub." He carried me into the bathroom and tossed me into the Jacuzzi with my pajamas still on. I laughed and asked "what the hell are you doing?" He said "don't worry about your clothes! They'll be off in a few minutes!"

I shrieked as the ice cold water rained down on me from the showerhead. I turned off the shower and started to run the water from the faucet. I asked "why is the water so cold?" He said "it's going to take a few minutes to warm up because the pipes froze last night! They are almost unfrozen; so it should be warmer any minute now."

After stripping off his clothes, he climbed into the Jacuzzi and said "you weren't kidding when you said the water was cold! Thank God you didn't put the drain plug in to start filling the tub because this water is freezing!" I said "I hope it warms up soon!" To keep ourselves warm, we started a passionate make out session. One thing led to another and you get the point.

As we lay there in the Jacuzzi with our bodies pressed up against each other, Kyle said "I love you so much!" He ran his fingers through my blonde fauxhawk and I said as I bit his bottom lip "I love you too! Do you want me to check and see if the water is warm enough now to start filling the tub?" He said "yes; go ahead." I turned the water back on and screamed as I chuckled while scolding hot water hit my foot. I yanked my foot out of the way and said "it's definitely hot now!"

As we sat there waiting for the huge Jacuzzi to start filling up with water, I said "I'm going to be so lonely without you sleeping next to me every night! Nobody to talk to! Just me in a big empty hotel room!" He said "just know that I'm going to be feeling just as lonely as you are when you leave." I hit a button to make the water come out faster because it still wasn't that full. Then I realized I hit the wrong button. Sudsy bubbles came out of all the holes inside the Jacuzzi at full blast. Kyle chuckled and asked "aren't you going to shut off the bubbles?" I frantically hit the button over and over again. I chuckled as I said "oh no; I think the buttons stuck!"

Before we knew it, Kyle and I were completely buried in bubbles. I managed to pull the drain plug with my foot; but that really didn't help the situation. I managed to dig myself out of the bubbles and pulled Kyle out with me. We both burst out laughing as the tub started to overflow with bubbles. Kyle asked "what are we going to do?" I looked at the clock on the wall and said "Frank going to be here any minute and I'm not even dressed yet!" Kyle desperately shoved both of his socks into the hole that the bubbles for coming out of. He said "that should buy us some time!"

I went back out to the bedroom and put my clothes on before running to answer the door. I answered it and Frank was standing there as he asked "what took you so long to answer the door? I've been sending out here for a half hour!" I said "trust me; you don't want to know." Kyle ran down the stairs and I said "I have to go babe because I'm running late. Tell the kids I love them and I'll see them soon!" He kissed me one last time and said "I love you! Have fun; just relax!" I said "I love you too and don't forget to video chat with me at night after the concerts!"

After boarding the bus, I got on my laptop and started to play game of solitaire. A few minutes into it, I got bored and started to go through the pictures on my laptop. There were so many of Kyle and I with the kids. I had to stop looking at them because it was making me sad. I'm really starting to wonder if I made the right decision! I didn't really want to leave and I probably would never want to leave if it were up to me!

February 3, 2016,

After a long concert in Arizona, I lay on my hotel room bed and my iPad started beeping. I picked it up and noticed that Kyle was trying to video chat with me. I accepted the request and he said "hey; I miss you! How was the concert?" I shrugged it off and said "okay I guess; I want to just come home!" Kyle said "you know; you've been pregnant pretty much the entire time you've been 21. You should go out and have a few drinks!" I said with a worried expression on my face "I don't think that's such a good idea Kyle! The idea of me drinking again gives me a bad feeling!" Kyle asked "what's the worst that could happen?" I said "a lot of things!" He said "just have fun; that's all I'm saying! You don't have to overdo it!"

I logged off of the video chat and dialed the numbers of a few of my backup dancers. They came up to the room and I opened up the mini fridge. The whole entire door was stuffed with beer bottles.…

February 4, 2016,

I opened my eyes to the sound of someone knocking on the hotel room door and noticed that I was laying face first on the floor. I mustered up the strength to go open the door with my head pounding worse than it ever has before. I answered it and was surprised to see Kyle standing there. He asked "are you excited to see me?" I rubbed my head and asked "what are you doing here?" He said "I know you've been having a hard time being away from me and the kids; so I decided to give you a visit for a few weeks!"

Kyle walked in and noticed the hotel room was a complete disaster, he looked at me and I immediately burst out crying. He hugged me and asked "what's wrong?" I said "I can't do this anymore! I don't want this anymore! I just want to be normal again! I don't want the fame and I don't want the money! All I need is my family! I mean it when I say that I'm done with all this and I want to go home! Don't try to talk me out of it because I think for once in my life I making a good decision! All I remember from last night's grabbing beers out of the fridge! I only had to backup dancers with me and they call me and told me I had 24 beers last night; and was throwing up all over the place!"

I think finally Kyle noticed how badly I wanted my normal life back. He said "come on; let's go home!" As we walked past my manager Frank's hotel room, he asked "where do you think you're going? You have a contract!" I ripped the contract in half right in front of him and said "not anymore I don't!"

We ended up driving all the way from Arizona back to Los Angeles in Kyle's car; which gave us a lot of time to talk. He said "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that you're done with being famous! I guess that means that because you'll be home all the time he take care of the kids I can open up my own body shop! Hey; do you ever wonder why your dad put up with you and your crap for so long?" I said "sometimes; I just wish I could know exactly what he was thinking!"

TO BE CONTINUED IN SEAQUL STORY/FANFICTION