Chapter 13,

April 23, 2006,

We're settling back in at the house in Bahrain and dad is getting back to his usual self. He eating more normally then he was during the trial and has put on about 5 pounds. He's been working on his new album, but he hasn't seemed so excited about writing this one as he has been with others he has written.

I was in my room watching TV when dad came in and said "I'm so happy here; are you?" I said "I love it here but; nothing compares to Neverland!" He said "yeah I know. I'm doing everything I can to save the ranch but; selling it might be the best thing we can do right now." I said "I just had this picture in my mind that I would visit you at Neverland 20 years to now with my family. I guess that's never going to happen now." He said "I'll try my best to save it but I can't make any promises. Don't get me wrong; I love it there too but; it'll never be the same because of everything that's gone on with the trial." I said "I guess you're right! I just wish I would've been able to see it one more time!" He sighed and said "trust me AJ; you wouldn't have wanted to see what the inside of the house looks like!" I got up and let the dog into my room. He said "all right I'm going to go back downstairs and play with your siblings. Why don't you come downstairs?" I said "alright; there's nothing better to do anyway. Come on Drake, let's go downstairs!"

I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Blanket (who is now four years old) walked over and sat down next to me. He randomly hugged me and said "I love you so much Alanna!" I said while quickly hugging him "I love you too." Dad walked into the room and Blanket said "I love this house daddy." Dad said "I know you do; I do too!" Prince and Paris said together "I hope we can stay here for a long time!" I don't really understand what the big deal is about this house. I will always love Neverland more than any other place we could possibly live. I spent the first 12 years of my life living in that house and up until six months ago I had planned to spend the first 18 years of my life there! I guess all I can do now is hope that some sort of miracle happens and we don't end up losing the ranch for good! I have a strong feeling that that's never going to happen!

April 27, 2006,

It was 9 o'clock at night and dad had just checked to see if my brothers and sister were sleeping. I was downstairs and was planning to stay up late because I didn't have to do any of my homeschooling the next day. Dad walked up behind me when I was at the kitchen counter putting dishes away and asked "do you want to go walked the beach with me? I probably won't be able to sleep for a while anyway." I thought it was weird that my dad wanted to go out to the shore so late at night but; I agreed to do so.

We walked down to the waves and started to walk along the shoreline. I could tell something was up because dad couldn't stop fidgeting. He said "I think it's time that we have a very important talk.” I looked at him with a suspicious look on my face and asked "what do you want to talk about dad?" He started sweating and I could tell his nerves were getting to him because every time he would go to say something to me he would stop himself. I asked "is it really that important of a conversation? I've never seen you shake so bad in my life!" He said "umm, yeah it is. umm, oh man, this going to be so awkward! How do I even start this conversation?"

I bent down to pick up a few shells out of the sand and put them in my pocket. Dad took a deep breath and said "I think it's time that we have the talk." I asked "what do you mean by 'the talk'?" He said "well; you'll be a teenager next year and you're probably going to start having feelings for boys." It took me about five minutes to figure out what he meant by 'feelings' and my eyes widened as I stared at him definitely in shock that he was really going to go there. I said "whoa, whoa, whoa, dad we really don't need to talk about this!" He said "trust me; I feel uncomfortable talking about this too but; it's important that you know about those kinds of things because I don't want you making any wrong decisions that could end up putting you in a difficult situation." I said "I promise you dad; I won't do anything stupid!" He said "I want you to know that even though I'm not ready to be a grandfather yet; you can always tell me anything! I’ll always be here for you no matter what!"

I can honestly say that that was the most uncomfortable conversation I have ever had with my dad! He was very thorough over our three-hour talk on the beach and made sure not to leave anything out! I'm sure it would've been more natural if I knew who my mother was and she was the one to initiate this conversation. I will say though; my dad didn't do that bad for being a guy talking to his 12-year-old tomboy daughter!

May 3, 2006,

Dad just walked in the front door and tripped over my basketball shoes that were laying in the hallway. He said to himself "I wish Alanna would listen to me when I tell her to pick up her shoes." I was upstairs in my room with my door open and I overheard a conversation between Grace and dad. Grace said "Michael; you need to stop spending so much money! Do you realize how broke you are?" He said "there's nothing to worry about! The Prince of Bahrain is paying our bills remember?" Grace said "shouldn't you be working on your new album instead of going shopping?" He said "it's coming along, slowly but surely over time!" Grace said "I don't think you realize how irritated your new record label is with you! I'm worried if you don't get moving on this new CD that they might pull the plug on the whole contract! Where is that going to leave you financially? You have to remember that you have four children depending on you to provide for them!" Dad started to get really irritated with her and said "don't tell me what I should or shouldn't do! I'm a grown man and I can make my own decisions! You're here solely to take care of the children, nothing more nothing less!" Grace said "you finally have a chance to dig yourself out of all this debt you've acquired! Why not take advantage of it? You may never get another opportunity like this again Michael! I've been taking care of your children since the week AJ was born and I've never seen you so unmotivated to write music!" Dad said "you know what Grace? If you can't let me do what I would like then maybe you should leave!" She said "fine Michael if that's what you want! It's nice to see that you would so willingly throw away the last 12 years so easily!" With that last statement she stormed out of the door slamming it behind her. I really can't believe that just happened!

June 17, 2006,

Grace has been gone for a few weeks now and I really think that dad is missing having her around. Plus it's no surprise that I've been giving him a lot of trouble lately and it makes him want to rip his hair out. My biggest problem lately is talking back and it really irritates him because he doesn't want me to be like this.

I was coming inside after playing basketball and dad was opening up envelopes that he had gotten in the mail. He opened up one of them and unfolded the papers that were inside. He looked down at them and asked "Alanna; do you mind explaining this to me?" I grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge and walked over to him. I asked "what?" He said "these are your last set of grades for the 6th grade. I'd like to know why you have a D- in science, history, and math?" I said "I don't know why they would say my grades are that low! I do my work on my computer every day! He said "maybe it has something to do with the fact that you have a total of 17 incomplete assignments in those classes! AJ; you and I both know that you are way smarter than a D-!" I said "it doesn't even matter if I did those assignments or not because we already got that letter in the mail that said that my overall grade for this year was high enough for me to continue on to the seventh grade!" He said "it does matter to me and it should matter to you." I said "what's done is done! I'm moving on to the seventh grade after summer vacation and that's all that matters!" He said "you're lucky you passed this time but; you may not be so lucky next time! The overall passing grade for all of your classes is a 61 and you passed with a 63! You barely passed! I don't understand how last semester you had straight A's and this semester you have three D's and a B+! You can do so much better than this AJ!"

I got up and went into the living room. Dad followed me and said "don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you!" I walked out of the living room and went upstairs to my bedroom without responding to him. I shut the door and lay down on my bed with my face covered by my baseball cap. He came in my room and opened up the drawer in my nightstand. He pulled out a stack of papers and started thumbing through them. He said "science assignment 111, math assignment 3.6, American history: end of chapter 10 quiz! You may be doing the online assignments but you're clearly not doing the handwritten ones because I can see them right here and none of them have been worked on at all! Why do you lie to me AJ? I don't get it! Wouldn't it be easier just to tell me the truth? By lying to me you’re just make it harder on yourself!" I said "just leave me alone!" He said "no; I'm not going to leaving you alone because that's exactly what you want! I'm not letting you do whatever you want and I'm staying right here until you realize how ridiculous that is for you to get grades that low!"

He sat down on the edge of my bed and stared at me as I lay there with the brim of my hat covering my eyes. He kept saying "this is getting ridiculous! I'm going to be sitting here all night and it's not going to bother me either… Just so you know." After 15 minutes of him and I sitting there in silence; I lost it! I said "get the hell out of my room now! He raised his eyebrows and sternly asked "what did you just say?" I asked "are you deaf? I said get the hell out of my room!" He said "Alanna Michael Jackson you better look at me right now!" I didn't respond to him and kept my eyes covered with my hat. He gently took the hat off my head and threw it across the room. He said "sit up right now!" I said "no; it's not like you can physically make me anymore! I'm almost as tall as you are!" He said "you know what? I didn't want to come to this but; you're giving me no choice!"

He got up and started to unplug my computer and I asked "what do you think you're doing?" He didn't answer me and took it out of my room. He came back in and took my flatscreen off the wall. I chased him down the hallway and he locked my TV in his bedroom closet. Then he went for my dresser and counted out seven of each type of clothing. He made sure each piece of clothing was a plain color and put all my other clothing in a plastic bag. He also brought the bag to his closet and came back into my room with a screwdriver in his hands. He bent down and started to unscrew the bolts to my bedroom door. He took the door off its hinges and leaned it up against the wall in his bedroom.

By that point I sat up and he walked back into my bedroom. He rolled my computer chair up to me and sat down in it. He said "you need to treat me with respect! I don't think you realize how good you have it! You’re not getting your flatscreen, computer, or door back until I feel you have earned the right to have them back. Depending on how you want to act you could be without those things for weeks or even months." I asked with an irritated tone "why did you take the rest of my clothes away?" He said "because you don't act like you appreciate how much those name brands like YMCMB and South Pole cost me. One pair of those baggy jeans you like to wear costs $80! Until you get your behavior under control that stack clothes is what you're be wearing." I said "but those are so boring, everything is white or blue and black basketball shorts!" He said "yeah well; maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to swear at me!" I asked "well; why did you take my fucking door off of my room?" He said while sighing because of my language "you need to prove to me that you deserve to have privacy because as it stands now that door will be off until you do." I said "you've got to be joking!" He got up to leave the room and asked "does it look like I'm joking with you now AJ?" He walked out of the room and I stared at the overwhelming emptiness around me. I whispered to myself "I really dug myself into a deep hole this time!" I have a feeling my life is going to be very boring for a while!

June 22, 2006,

Grace is coming back today because dad and her reconciled a few days ago, they agreed to no longer argue over finances and that she would completely leave that up to him. She'll be here in about 15 minutes and I'm hoping that having her around will loosen dad up a little bit because he still has a tight grip around my punishment. I doubt she'll have an effect on him though.

Grace walked in the front door of our house in Bahrain and hugged each of us before we sat down to eat dinner. Dad asked me "can you please pass me the salt?" I said "get it yourself" and put my plate in the sink. I went upstairs and into my room; which was still bare of anything fun. Grace came upstairs and walked into my room. She sat down on the bed and asked "what the heck happened to your door?" I said "dad took it off because I told him to get the hell out of my room." She said "oh; your dad finally put his foot down! Let me guess; he took your computer and TV away too? I asked "what does it look like to you?" She asked "why did you guys get into an argument in the first place?" I said "because he got my final grades for the sixth grade and I had three D's! Then he found out that I had 17 missing assignments stuffed in a drawer in my room. He wants me to do the assignments but; I don't see the point because I already passed all my classes!" She said "I bet you if you finished those assignments your dad will at least give you something back!" I said "he's being so stupid and I'm not going to do all that work for nothing!" She said "hey AJ; don't talk about your father like that. He loves you and only wants what's best for you! Even if that means he has to take away everything that's entertaining to you. I said "ugh; it's so boring in here! He won't even let me play basketball! I have to come up here and pretty much stare at the wall all day. The only thing I'm allowed to do is eat downstairs and do my chores!" She said "I'm going to go downstairs now. Just think about doing those worksheets, it may get you farther than you think it will."

I was board out of my mind so; I decided to do what Grace had suggested even though I really didn't want to! There I sat in my room for 2 1/2 hours working on worksheets that should've been finished months ago. I was really frustrated because I had to read over chapters that I had already read to refresh my memory. I finished worksheet after worksheet and was glad when they were all completed. I stapled the pages together and put my history, science, and math books away.

Dad could hear the squeaking of my shoes as I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where everyone else was. Dad and I stared at each other in silence for a few minutes before he said "there better be a good reason why you're down here." I walked up to him and without saying a word I passed him the packet of worksheets. I think he was trying to hide his shock as he flipped through the pages and shook his head in approval. When he got to the last page I asked "can you and I have a conversation by ourselves for a few minutes?" He said "sure; sit down at the table with me."

I said "I'm really sorry for being disrespectful to you." He said "you were way out of line when you told me to get the hell out of your room. You know I don't tolerate swearing-in this house and it definitely caught me off-guard when you swore, especially when you say words like the F word. I find that highly disrespectful that you would speak like that. I don't know what would make you think that that was okay! Do you know how that makes you look when you act that way? You look like a spoiled, entitled, brat and I know that's not who you are or at least I know that I don't want you to act like that! Let me ask you this, is it fun not being able to pick out your own clothes?" I said "no; I'm tired of wearing plain white T-shirts and black basketball shorts!" He asked "has it been fun not being able to use your computer or watch any TV at all for this entire time?" I said "no; I've fallen so far behind on TV shows and my virtual pets are probably dead by now because I haven't been able to use my computer so I can feed them!" He asked "how has it been not having a door to your bedroom?" I said "that's the worst thing you have ever done to me for a punishment, especially when my dog wakes me up at two in the morning to let him outside!" Dad asked "do you appreciate everything that I provide for you now?" I said "so much more now than I did before!" He said "come with me."

We went upstairs and I followed him into his bedroom. He grabbed the plastic bag with all my favorite clothes inside with his left hand and grabbed my bedroom door with the other hand, grasping it with both of his hands. He walked down to my room and propped the door up against the wall. He took the screwdriver out of his pocket and put the door back on its hinges. He tested it to see if it shut properly and then passed me the plastic bag with my clothes inside it. I smiled as I opened it up and he said "don't get too excited because if you are disrespectful or misbehave again it's going back in my room! I'll be right back; I'm going to get your computer and flatscreen so we can set it back up in here."

He brought my computer and flatscreen television back into my room. He mounted the television back on the wall above my dresser and I helped him carry the monitor and computer tower back over to my desk. We plug everything back in and I was so happy that I was finally able to turn my computer on again. Dad said "alright; there you go!" I said as I hugged him "I'm really sorry for swearing and lying to you dad!" He said "just don't do it again! I love you kiddo; even though you going to make my hair turn gray years before it's supposed to!" The two of us started laughing and then he asked "can I have a kiss please? I haven't gotten one from you in a while because you've been giving me the silent treatment!" I kissed him and I said "I love you so much dad!" He said "I love you more!!!"

August 1, 2006,

We were in a hotel in Bahrain because the Prince terminated dad's recording contract. He told dad that he was upset that work wasn't being accomplished on the new album and told all of us that we would have to leave the house we had been living in immediately! Dad was furious and still kind of is. It only gets worse from here!

All of us kids were watching TV in our hotel room when there was a knock at the door. Dad answered it and it was the manager of the hotel. Dad asked "how can I help you?" The manager said "Mr. Jackson I hate to inform you of this but; your credit card has been declined." Dad said "that can't be right! Are you sure you scanned it correctly?" The manager said "yes sir; several times and it says on the machine that you've exceeded your spending limit." Grace got a worried look on her face and the manager said "if we don't receive payment within the next few minutes were going to have to ask you to leave the premises."

Dad pulled Grace to the side and said "we’re going to have to leave! I can't afford to stay here! I don't know where we’re going to go but; I know we can't stay here!" She said "there is that property with the recording studio that you can afford in Dublin Ireland that I was looking at yesterday. He said "I guess we're going to have to go there but; I need to see if someone will loan me the money for the plane tickets to get there! I think our best bet is to call Rev. Al Sharpton because he wouldn't want to stress the children out in any way.

Luckily, dad was able to get the money from the Rev. and we are scheduled to board the next flight to Ireland. I hope this whole money situation gets figured out soon because it seems like just as we get settled in somewhere we have to up and leave again! I'm really getting sick of this! August, 24, 2006,

I love it here in Ireland! The place we are staying at is almost like an inn for celebrities. The thing I love most about being here is the fact that the public respect our privacy and leave us alone. That has never happened to us before and I love it! The people here are really nice and it's really affordable for us to live here. They treat all of us like were normal people and never once asked dad for a picture or an autograph.

I was downstairs in the lobby area which was the floor underneath our two-story living area. I'd rather not call it a home yet because I don't know how long will be staying here and I don't want to get too comfortable. Anyway, I was downstairs in the lobby and dad came over to me wearing his pajamas. He said "you need to go to your room and make your bed please." I got up and went upstairs to do as I was told and afterwards went back down to the lobby.

I went over and sat on the arm of the chair that dad sitting in and he said "thank you for listening to me." I laughed and said "yeah well; I don't want to lose my bedroom door again!" Nancy, the woman who owned the in with her husband said "Michael; if you would like me to I have someone who directs low-budget short films and he said he would be willing to come here and give you a lesson to the children about filmmaking. I've heard that Prince is really interested in those sorts of things!" Dad said "oh please do; all of us would enjoy that very much!"

A few hours later, a skinny dark-haired man with a mustache came upstairs to our living area and introduced himself as Marcus Bennett! Marcus said as we all gathered at the table in front of the TV "I hear we have an up-and-coming director here!" Prince raised his hand and said "that's me! I love movies and and love learning how they are created! My daddy has taught me a lot about what he knows because he has helped direct a few of his own short films!" Dad grinned with pride and joy as Marcus began to teach us all about the art of filmmaking. I don't think I have ever seen Prince so thrilled in his life, he is definitely on cloud nine! I have to say even though music is more my thing, seeing how movies are made and learning some of the correct terminology was pretty awesome!

September 6, 2006,

We are in Japan and dad just got back to our hotel after accepting an award at the Japanese version of the MTV video music awards. Dad was really happy because he actually got paid over $100,000 to show up and as you know by now dad is very low on cash.

Dad came running up to Grace and said "you'll never guess who I ran into there!" She said "who? Why are you so excited?" He said "some AEG live entertainment executives!" Grace looked at him confused and asked "what's so exciting about that?" He said "well; we got to talking and they really want to create a Michael Jackson hotel on the Vegas strip!" I got excited as I overheard the conversation and said "whoa; dad that is like the coolest thing ever!" Grace said "you can finally get rid of all this debt! That's what I'm most excited about!" Dad said "trust me; I am too! According to the AEG executives they want to build a statue like the ones we had floating on the rivers during the history tour and put it at the center of the lobby! There will be another huge building attached to the hotel that will be off-limits to the public because that will be our home! I promise you AJ; if you miss Neverland you're going to love our new home once it's built!" I hugged him and kissed his cheek. He looked at me while grinning from ear to ear and said "we're moving to Vegas baby!"