WARNING: Attempt these at your own risk. Author is not responsible for any deaths or torture from trying these.
1. Tell him that Bellatrix is waiting for him to propose.
2. Tell him that Harry is in love with him.
3. Write an apology letter to the Daily Prophet that looks as though it's from him.
4. Turn his Dark Mark into a tatoo of a kitten.
5. Ask him just WHEN did he last take a shower?
6.Anonymously send him a wig.
7. Constantly wink at him, and tell him that his secret is safe with you.
8. Steal Nagini. When he demands her back, claim she likes living with you better.
9.Call him "Moldy Voldy the Baldy".
10. Make retching noises whenever you see his face.
11. Write, "I WISH I HAD A GIRLFRIEND" on the back of his cloak.
12. "Re-decorate" his headquarters. Make sure to use LOTS of pink and glitter.
13. Tell him that Bellatrix is eviler and more menacing than he is.
14. Ask him why his Death Eaters are so sub-standard, I mean, they couldn't even defeat six teenagers!
15. Tell him that he needs a pimp cane like Lucius's.
16. Tell him that Order of the Phoenix members have just invaded his headquarters. Then lead him on a furious wild goose chase through the headquarters, claiming, "they were JUST over there!".
17. Tell him that he and Peter Pettigrew make SUCH a cute couple.
18. Tell him that you think pink is his color.
19. Tell him you think he needs therapy. Then, make him go.
20. Ask him what his father was like.
21. Eat Nagini. Offer him some.
22. Post pictures of mudbloods and muggles everywhere where he can see them.
23. Leave smashed lockets, mangled golden cups, and diaries with holes in them everywhere.
24. Tell him that he resembles a famous muggle named Ralph Fiennes
