Bisexuality.

No, in fact, I feel the complete opposite.

As a self-professed bisexual, and having been one my whole life, I am ashamed when fellow sexual minorities accuse me of "posing," or "being in denial." I am ashamed, of course, because these are the last people who should be accusing me that my sexuality is a choice. And yes, that's what you're doing. By claiming that one "chooses" to be bisexual instead of admitting to be gay, or that one "chooses" to pretend to be bisexual to get the opposite sex to like them more, is WORSE for the LGBT cause than bisexuals are.

Gays and lesbians have suffered an immense injustice in history, having been told that they are diseased, sinful, or purposely choosing a life that goes against the norm just to spite everyone else. So why would they try to tell bisexuals that they're just "in denial" or identifying as bisexual because they see it as "cool?"

I have had relationships with men and women, and they have been healthy relationships, and I have been equally attracted to every person whom I have dated. I don't need anyone to tell me what my sexuality is, because I know who I am. That said, it does piss me off a lot when people make judgments about me and other bisexuals because of their own assumptions and prejudices.

And yes, it is a prejudice. To assume that bisexuality doesn't exist, or that people are faking it or in denial, is an offensive assumption that you know about someone's sexuality more than they do. As mentioned, I am SURE that every gay and lesbian in this spot has, at one point, come across someone who has tried to convince them that they aren't really gay, that it's just a phase. Just like every other sexuality, bisexuality is not a phase. It's an identity.

I am sorry for being so harsh, but I find this persecution of bisexuals by the LGBTQIA community to be a cruel betrayal of your fellow sexual minorities. I don't care if you've met people who came out bisexual as a slow way of coming out gay. I don't care if you've met girls who have made out with other girls just to turn on their boyfriends. Sexuality is personal and complicated, and you're absolutely right, it's not a choice. But it's not bipolar either. In fact, Alfred Kinsey, the sex researcher, believes that few people are entirely gay or entirely straight.

Sexuality goes so far beyond the labels that we ascribe to it. I never make any assumptions about anyone's sexuality, no matter how they identify, because everyone is different, and sexuality is complex.

And by the way, OF COURSE someone gets mad when you try and tell THEM what THEIR sexuality is! I don't care how OBVIOUS it is to you, that's a personal issue, and you do NOT know what someone ELSE'S sexual identity is.

So that's just my two cents. Thanks for reading.

I'm legitimately bi. There are gay people who assume the identity for your reasons, as well as straight people who do so to seem exotic, but there are legitimate bisexuals out there. I find your wording disrespectful. You just assume you're not talking to anyone bi. Bisexuals aren't just hypothetical, though. The way you treat them as such echoes all sorts of prejudice, including homophobia. You ever run across a straight person asking a forum, which they believe to only contain straight people (because gay people are hypothetical), what they think about people who call themselves "gay"? Doesn't that kind of thing make you angry or hurt?

I once moderated a Halo forum, where someone made an anti-gay comment and I called him out for it. His response was "Do gay people play Halo? lol", presumably because he didn't think of gay people as real people so much as some fashion-adviser stereotype. Here he was talking to someone queer who was a moderator of a Halo forum, and he thought he could make anti-gay comments because he thought only straight people could be there. That's homophobia; biphobia has similar components.

I agree with Cinders, that bisexuality is a real thing. But I some gay people label themselves as bisexual until they are completely comfortable with identifying as gay.

Here's an excerpt from a book I read, "Is it a Choice?" by Eric Marcus, a gay man. Eric confided in his friend in high school that he was bisexual, although he was not attracted to women.

"I rationalized that I could keep one foot in the gay world and the other safely in the heterosexual world, in word if not deed. And I imagined that people would have an easier time of accepting me if they thought I 'went both ways.'"

He stopped saying he was bi a couple of years later and started saying that he was gay.

Also, sexuality may change over a lifetime. People aren't always bisexual or gay or straight their whole lives. It can change, but it's a natural thing (no therapy can change who a person is).

that's stupid. There's 3 orientations: heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual. Some people are adding pansexuality, which is a little similar to bisexuality. And I'm sorry that you have such a horrible view on bi-people!
Some people are still questioning (like me, but I'm now like 70% sure that I'm pansexual) and it's nothing wrong with the fact that they get mistaken sometimes.
By the way, according to psychology, most of us is bisexual a little, someone like 10% and it never shows, someone like 50%.

i am bisexual. i liked guys up until i was ten then i started to notice girls. i still have crushes on guys, and still notice girls. i dont see that changing to being completely gay or straight.

I myself am bisexual.

I know for a fact that I'm not a lesbian, because I had a crush on two boys. But I have an attraction for girls and...well, what other orientation is left? :/


I'm not really sure if I agree with what you're saying or not, but I'm confused about situations that are similar to that.

Not to long ago, I came across a friend who is a 'lesbian'. She stated that she knows that she likes girls and only girls, but then mentioned that she has a crush on a boy. But she wants to choose girls over boys, and not be attracted to him anymore.
I've heard of plenty of stories like that (Straight person who's been in a relationship with someone for a long period of time until they meet someone of their sex, or gay person who's been in a relationship with someone but finds someone that is their opposite sex, and they state "Oh, I want to be gay but I like him/her!"

My thoughts on that are;
1) You're simply bisexual. You're evidently attracted to both genders, which fits the definition of one who is bisexual. So, yeah.

2) If one cannot change their orientation, then why does someone say, "I know I like this boy but I want to be attracted to only girls" or "Oh! I've been with my husband for twenty years, but now that I am attracted to another woman, I'll become a lesbian."
That just confuses me. It's obviously not a choice, yet people, like those in your situation, treat it that way when actually, they're simply bisexual. :/

I guess I have some things to learn still, I don't know. (I found out I was bisexual not too long ago...)

well, i feel like i'm bi, because i've had girl crushes, and girlfriends, and find lots of girls attractive. but i still like boys, and i'm dating a boy right now. so, it's probably not that way for everyone. i don't think it's really that way for ... anyone. that's just me though. because i haven't met any bi people that aren't attracted to the opposite sex, or at least that haven't been attracted to the opposite sex before. and you can't say you're totally gay (from girls point of view) if you've dated a boy and loved him, but then you decide you just don't like boys as much, that you prefer girls. i think you would still be bi. but like i said, just my opinion.