Songs to Listen to while you read (songs available at projectplaylist.com):
- Dumbing Down of Love by Frou Frou (playlist.com)
- How to Disappear Completely by Radiohead (playlist.com)
- My invitations by Sarah Slean (youtube)
Exposure
Kyle and Jessi stood toe to toe in her room. Kyle struggled to mutter out some words to react: "You're f-.... Um..." He frowned with fumbled words as the color drained from his face. He suddenly relied on the doorknob for support as his legs began to fail him.
"Say something Kyle." Jessi forced out a nervous smile. "I know you don't approve of him yet, but if you get to know him better, you might like him. I won't tell him my secret yet - I mean not anytime soon...I just finally feel like I can have something incredible with someone. Like you and Amanda have? Or...had. I mean, I'm sure you two will work it out, heh. You always do." As Jessi finished rambling and forced out another broken smile. Despite her recent fallout with Kyle, Jessi still found herself starving for his approval.
Kyle's hope was abruptly stolen away, but he still felt he owed her the truth. "Jessi. It's different this time." He struggled to find the right words for he knew that if he told Jessi how he feels, it could complicate things for her and Xander. "Jessi, Amanda and I are over. We ended things because we wanted them to end. We're not the same people we used to be, and I'm not sure I want to be." With exposed, numb limbs, Kyle made what he felt to be a futile attempt. "I feel...I..." He got lost in her eyes as she gazed back in confusion and anxiousness...
"Kyle, what is it?" A familiar pain unexpectedly crept into Jessi's abdomen, but she did not understand why.
In earnestness and apparent exhaustion, he breathed out the words in devastating defeat, "Jessi, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that what I'm about to say will complicate things but you deserve to know."
"What?" Her fear was crippling. Why am I terrified?
Shying from his words, he became slightly cryptic and blushed, "I don't want to lose you."
Jessi smiled in certainty of her response. "You're never gonna lose me. Kyle I know we've been having problems lately but with everything you and I have been through," Her eyes began darting elsewhere as she felt slight embarrassment at the sentiment she was conveying. "...I mean with everything we share, you should know by now th-..."
"No." Kyle sighed as his eyes remained focused on hers - she didn't get it. Interrupted, Jessi rediscovered Kyle's eyes - once again, confused. "When Amanda and I...tried again, it felt...wrong this time. I think, I...." Kyle took Jessi's hands into his as he struggled to find more words to define what he had been feeling for longer than he would dare to admit. Jessi then began to realize why she was terrified. Kyle's intentions were bare for her to see and and her heart broke all over again. A broken grimace covered her face.
"No. Kyle, no." Her lips quivered as she pulled away.
"Jessi-" You don't believe me
"I don't...believe you. For all I know you're hiding from your heartbreak with Amanda. I won't your your fall back girl. I finally find someone who loves me like you love Amanda and you're ruining it!" Tears burned down Jessi's cheeks as she struggled to maintain composure.
Guilt, sadness, and frustration cradled Kyle - she still didn't get it. "I...I just want you to be happy. But..."
"No. Just...stop! Look I'm sure you and Amanda will be fine. So please, don't confuse me. I can't take it." Jessi's lips trembled uncontrollably.
"Jessi-" Kyle urged.
"Please go. I want you to go now." She ordered as she finally reached a controlled facade of confidence, masking uncertainty.
Kyle sighed and his face broke with misery as he slowly turned around and walked toward the door. He turned to find her eyes one last time before he shut the door behind him. Kyle thought to himself once as he laid in his tub:
(Voiceover) I need to find a way to repair what I have broken. My relationship with Jessi has been severed; and I have no one to blame but myself. I have finally accepted what Jessi had accepted since we met. I now want to pursue the very thing I was running from; the very thing Jessi is now running from. It's as clear as day and I am now ready to fight for it - Our Destiny.
- Dumbing Down of Love by Frou Frou (playlist.com)
- How to Disappear Completely by Radiohead (playlist.com)
- My invitations by Sarah Slean (youtube)
Exposure
Kyle and Jessi stood toe to toe in her room. Kyle struggled to mutter out some words to react: "You're f-.... Um..." He frowned with fumbled words as the color drained from his face. He suddenly relied on the doorknob for support as his legs began to fail him.
"Say something Kyle." Jessi forced out a nervous smile. "I know you don't approve of him yet, but if you get to know him better, you might like him. I won't tell him my secret yet - I mean not anytime soon...I just finally feel like I can have something incredible with someone. Like you and Amanda have? Or...had. I mean, I'm sure you two will work it out, heh. You always do." As Jessi finished rambling and forced out another broken smile. Despite her recent fallout with Kyle, Jessi still found herself starving for his approval.
Kyle's hope was abruptly stolen away, but he still felt he owed her the truth. "Jessi. It's different this time." He struggled to find the right words for he knew that if he told Jessi how he feels, it could complicate things for her and Xander. "Jessi, Amanda and I are over. We ended things because we wanted them to end. We're not the same people we used to be, and I'm not sure I want to be." With exposed, numb limbs, Kyle made what he felt to be a futile attempt. "I feel...I..." He got lost in her eyes as she gazed back in confusion and anxiousness...
"Kyle, what is it?" A familiar pain unexpectedly crept into Jessi's abdomen, but she did not understand why.
In earnestness and apparent exhaustion, he breathed out the words in devastating defeat, "Jessi, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that what I'm about to say will complicate things but you deserve to know."
"What?" Her fear was crippling. Why am I terrified?
Shying from his words, he became slightly cryptic and blushed, "I don't want to lose you."
Jessi smiled in certainty of her response. "You're never gonna lose me. Kyle I know we've been having problems lately but with everything you and I have been through," Her eyes began darting elsewhere as she felt slight embarrassment at the sentiment she was conveying. "...I mean with everything we share, you should know by now th-..."
"No." Kyle sighed as his eyes remained focused on hers - she didn't get it. Interrupted, Jessi rediscovered Kyle's eyes - once again, confused. "When Amanda and I...tried again, it felt...wrong this time. I think, I...." Kyle took Jessi's hands into his as he struggled to find more words to define what he had been feeling for longer than he would dare to admit. Jessi then began to realize why she was terrified. Kyle's intentions were bare for her to see and and her heart broke all over again. A broken grimace covered her face.
"No. Kyle, no." Her lips quivered as she pulled away.
"Jessi-" You don't believe me
"I don't...believe you. For all I know you're hiding from your heartbreak with Amanda. I won't your your fall back girl. I finally find someone who loves me like you love Amanda and you're ruining it!" Tears burned down Jessi's cheeks as she struggled to maintain composure.
Guilt, sadness, and frustration cradled Kyle - she still didn't get it. "I...I just want you to be happy. But..."
"No. Just...stop! Look I'm sure you and Amanda will be fine. So please, don't confuse me. I can't take it." Jessi's lips trembled uncontrollably.
"Jessi-" Kyle urged.
"Please go. I want you to go now." She ordered as she finally reached a controlled facade of confidence, masking uncertainty.
Kyle sighed and his face broke with misery as he slowly turned around and walked toward the door. He turned to find her eyes one last time before he shut the door behind him. Kyle thought to himself once as he laid in his tub:
(Voiceover) I need to find a way to repair what I have broken. My relationship with Jessi has been severed; and I have no one to blame but myself. I have finally accepted what Jessi had accepted since we met. I now want to pursue the very thing I was running from; the very thing Jessi is now running from. It's as clear as day and I am now ready to fight for it - Our Destiny.