** just wanted you to know how much i love you JT and i never meant to hurt you by fighting with you and i just want you to know that every word you read is true as hell -Bee **

Ok, you know how i used to tell you that i got these vibes sometimes? Well, the day i found out you went to the hospital....i kept going to your profile and thinking "omfg something is wroong" and then Chris ((smart dude:)) posted the bad news on your wall and obviously i was the first to know..on fanpop.... and i was like freaking out and ....i remembered fighting with you Sunday night..and i felt HORRIBLE omg..i was cryin. Then i didnt know what to do with myself, right? well then i told JayJAy and she just felt as bad as i did...and Chris kept telling us.."its not your fault, dont beat yourself up" and then i knew i had to tell Cherry, and i was scared cause i knew if i took the news hard, she would probably take it harder...but she did pretty well and she tried to blame herself..but i didnt let her..i had to take the blame and i told everyone if they wanted to blame someone i had to be blamed and i probably should have known something was wrong the moment you told me your headaches were back and i didnt get the bad vibes till the next day...well then i had to get off cause i was just going to cry, and cry and cry some more..so i got off and i just lay there freaking out and i didnt know what to do with myself..well then that night i had a beautiful nightmare...**i wanna cry again** ok in my dream..i was with Cherry and Spunky Jay..we went to the hospital and it was kinda funni (NOT HAHA FUNNI MORE LIKE I CANT BELIEVE IT FUNNI) that i could smell the hospital and here the beep beep of the intercom and we me and Cherry and Jay reached your room Chris was already in there with you but you were hooked up to all these wires and we us three girls walked in it was like you knew we were there and you woke up and me and Cherry and Jay just shrieked and cried and hugged eachother so hard and damn i could feel that hug .....but then the sucky part was that i woke up in a cold sweat crying cuz i didnt get to see the end of the dream and cuz it was the first time i ever dreamed about you or Cherry or Spunky Jay and i know for sure Chris...


but i wanted to tell you this cause i just want you to realize that i never really mean all those things i say about you and i just want you to know that i dont hate you and that i have ALWAYS LOVED YOU JSUT AS MUCH AS AS I LOVE CHERRY AND JAYJAY AND JORDAN i hope you know that and i never wanna hurt you again and i promise i will try to keep my cool and my head ok? Cause i was also brought up not to let people get the best of me and i was brought up pretty much like you were ....i hope you get better and i am praying for you




Love Back To You From

Bianca<3