I really miss Kaylee. In fact, I unblocked her weeks ago. I know it was the right thing to do, she wouldn't stop lying, but I really do miss her.

I want to stop cursing. I'm not saying everyone else has to, everyone has their own beliefs and I have high respect for them, but… my belief system says I personally shouldn't. And this has been nagging me for a long time. I'm going to try to stop… if I slip up, please don't call me out.
Again, not telling anyone else to stop xD CARRY ON WITH YOUR LIVES.

I'm super jealous of you guys' writing, and it makes me feel really brokenhearted when I write articles and barely anyone cares and then Alex writes an article and everyone is so impressed. And you guys don't even realize how good your writing is.
This sounds mean, but I mean it in the nicest way possible. And I'm sorry for being a shizzy writer...

Also... Sometimes I wet the bed and pick my nose. xD just kidding.

People are impressed by my articles? Wuuuuut.
I thought only you, Leah, and Evan liked my writing xD
I think you really developed in writing, Abby. I respect you for that.

Erm, another confession? Hm, okay.

Im terrified of heights. Badly. Also thunderstorms, but not as much
And Im TERRIBLY claustrophobic of people. If I'm in a crowded room or up high, I get panic attacks. One time on a field trip, there was both,no was literally gripping Serena's arm while I say on the ground. Then, when we were walking across a bridge with hide windows, she held my arm and guided me across while my eyes were closed.

I always miss the people who leave. I guess part of it is because I never really talk to anyone on the RP, so I never really get to know them, but whenever someone leaves, I feel really really sad about it, because no matter what they said before they left, or how bad their character was in the end, while they were here they were treated like a friend, so I thought of them as a friend. It really bothers me when people here bash the characters of the people who left, because in some cases while the person was here we loved the character, or at least to me it seemed like we all did. What Alex did, killing all the characters of the people who left, it really bothered me. I would have been happier if they had just been treated like they had never existed.

One word: SPIDERS D8

I confess something.....

.........


.......


......


I don't like feet. AT. ALL.



._______________________.


O.......................O

OH GOD. I HATE FEET.

Lol. One of my confessions? I only made this forum so I could confess how much I missed Kaylee. And right after I did, Alex confessed that to me.

o_o

IFEELSOEFFINGLOVEDIMGOINGTOGOCHEESILYCRYN­OW!­!!!­!

RANDOM THING ABOUT MYSELF:

._. ILoveFrugginSayingFrugginAndILikeCake

I'm only afraid of the spiders when I've killed them and am asked to pick it up and get rid of it.

Confessions: I don't really want to do one. That felt good to say. Ya! No I'm serious, I don't want to confess anything, plus I don't know what to confess.

Random fact: I HATE IT WHEN THE DAD ON TINKERBELL AND THE FREAT FAIRY RESCUE CHIMES BIG BEN! Leah knows this. She also knows that it frustrates the Shizz out of me!!! :P

I broke up with my boyfriend last year so I could date Michael. It wasn't the only reason, but it was one of them.

I never actually told anyone this, and I regret it immensely. He was a really good guy, but he was acting a little bastard-y around that time. And it was around the time I started liking Mike and him and Alex were flirting...I felt like I was cheating somehow. On which guy, I didn't know.

This is also one of the reasons I hold a grudge against Michael, I guess.

Wow.

When I first started, I cried myself to sleep for like a week because I was scared Alex didn't like me! ._. True story. Was that better left unsaid?

@Alex-that's so sad.
@Lady-Hey, its the OOC confessions page, say whatever you feel the need to say.

I always seem to get this super nice girl reputation and it drives me insane because people think I won't hurt a fly, and that I like everyone and they treat me like a delicate little flower.
In reality I hate practically every guy in the school and sarcasm is my best friend. And there are several times a day where I'd like to hit some of them over the head with a nice sized brick, but don't because then I'd be in some huge trouble.

When I first came to ICHB, well I don't even remember how I found it. Anyway, I wasn't really sure what this club was, or anything. But then someone told me it was a roleplay club. I knew what roleplay was I just have never done it. So when I asked to join I was sure you wouldn't let me in. The person who asked before me didn't get in so naturally I was scared. When I got told to write the article I was like okay. I worked really hard, and it took like two days I think. My lovely iPod had decided to correct thing that didn't need to be corrected, and didn't correct what did need to be corrected. Honestly, when I look back on myself, I was terrified. But I didn't really cry, or atleast I don't remember if I did or not. Even after I was in I was terrified. You guys all scared me. xD Not anymore though, well not all the time.

Some of you guys remember when Hannah flamed me on Facebook? I almost committed suicide. Penny stopped me, but I still cried for four hours straight and cut my knee with a razor. I even cried as I was trying to sleep. Evan liking the comment drove me a little over the edge. Hannah's comment was everything I was trying to stay away from at all costs, and everything I was scared of becoming.
After that, I stopped cutting, and write instead of hurting muself.

I say I'm friends with Hannah, but it was only from pure pressure. I'm not sure if I love her to death, or hate her with every fiber in me.
I can't stand to see her sad, yet I want to see her cry on the floor at the same time.
I hate her for what she did, and what she did makes it so I can't tell my parents anything. Before, I'd at least cry openly in front of them. But now? I can't mention being sad, because I'm afraid they'll flip out on me and give me anti-depressants again. (LOL. I never took them.)
But then again, I know she was trying to be a good friend. But that doesn't change how I feel.
I wish I could just scream at her and slap her across the face.

Um, for another one, I honestly have no self esteem. xD Like, I joke and say how "BEAUTIFUL" and "AWESOME" I am. And songs like The Middle, Born This Way, Freckles, or Who Says always make me grin. But it's like.... I don't have the right to be proud, I guess? Even when someone's like, "Oh gosh! I'm so proud! That recording sounded good!(Even if they're a good singer.)" I'm just sitting there, thinking, 'That sounds conceited.'
It's like.... I can't be proud for anything? Even getting A+'s, I'm like, "Why didn't you get over 100? You're so stupid!"
I can't convince myself, if I died or committed suicide, that anyone would miss me, either. It's like... thinking someone would care... it makes me feel like a stuck-up brat.

I dunnoooo. The only reason I'm still alive is because it's a pain in the ass to die. xD And I hate the pain and struggling that'd accompany it. But if I got shot or stabbed or something, I wouldn't struggle or beg for my life. I'd just be like, " :U Come at me, bro."

From way up above,

Alex your articles are amazing!!!!!!

-And now some rather strange fears...
Since I live in Alaska and there are trees practically everywhere, I am absolutely positively paralyzed with fear of Slenderman. '_' If you don't know who/what that is, don't look it up as it will scar you for life. Spiders are a constant fear for me as well as earthquakes. We don't really get earthquakes where I'm at but there scary.

The song kiss the girl reminds me of Ruby and Ash! I HAVE NO IDEA WHY, BUT IT DOES. -wasn't ever planning on admiting that-

After Kaylee left, I always hated myself for letting someone I cared about so much disappear. And somehow I knew she'd come back.
I hated myself for everything I said to her, for everything I'd ever been jealous of her over, and I cried a lot thinking about how much she should hate me. She should.
But I regret it all and I'd take it back in a heartbeat…
And knowing I wasn't there for Alex when she needed me hurts me. When she almost killed herself, she tried calling me and for whatever reason, I never picked up. I hit my head against my desk a million times for that. I could've helped… and I didn't.

I really love romance stories. Its weird because in real life I'm not into romance, I think its weird and don't want to get involved in one. For some reason in stories, I love it, I can't get enough of it. I ship a lot of pairings, but in the real world, the only romances I care about are those of my closest friends, and even those I only care about because I need to make sure my friends are being treated right.

I don't really like libraries. Although I love reading. I'll go to any book store, I just won't go to a library as much as a book store. CALL ME WEIRD IF YOU WANT. I DON'T CARE. XD

~I haven't told a lot of people that I don't like libraries. People just think I do cause I read so much. But I don't like libraries.~

The place I feel most awkward is in a church. I haven't gone since I was eight, and that was after my mom got in a big car crash coming home from church. I could've been on it...but I decided to sleep in. My best friend was also supposed to be there, but for some reason I said no..
I don't sweat it, though. Most of my family doesn't go to church. Although, I went a few months ago for a play, and I was the only one with bright red highlights and in jeans with black boots. I had no idea what I was supposed to do there, and I was terrified.
I respect Athiests and people who worship God and pray everyday. Three of my good friends are Athiests, and I know some people who very much love God. If I had to be honest...I think I'd be somewhere in the middle of those two.

Most of my family on my mother's side are very religious Lutherans. My parents sent me through confirmation classes and everything so I could be confirmed, and yet after all that I really feel like my beliefs are more Wikkian than Lutheran. Tue only people who know are my very best friends. I can't bring myself to tell my parents because I feel like that would disappoint them.

When I first went to the church I'm currently at... I would it go to the class I was supposed to be in. Instead I went to e little tiny kids class to work for like.. 3months. Then my gma forced me to go to my class and I. Flipped. Out.

I shivered.
"I should have brought my hoodie." I thought to myself.

Remember this post, all oldies? When we were on the quest to save Anna's twin's voices? This was on the train, and while posting it I was secretly hoping Michael would wrap his arms around Alex to keep her warm. Imagine my disappointment when Leah posted with Anna throwing a hoodie at her instead..

Sometimes, when I'm having a really bad day... IflipGodoff... I feel sick admitting this...

Ah, don't worry, Abby. I know a lot of religious people would flip out, but everyone has anger. I do it at times, and I'm honestly my most religious IRL friend. It's because we're always told, "God makes all the decisions."
And if he does, why does he want us to go through hard things that don't help? It 'makes us stronger' but does it really?


Ummm.... for me....
Lessee.

I like UsUk. I bet you didn't know that. :U

Well, I'm a very religious person, so for me, it's very rough to think of how disrespectful I can be.

Um... I guess I'll confess that I like 1D...

I'm not sure if you guys ever heard this song, but when I was in about second grade there was this song that played on the radio all the time. It went somthing like this, "B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Go, bananas, go go bananas." That song taught me how to spell bananas, and to this day I still have to use it to spell bananas.

LOL me too! That's so cool!

Random fact: I HATE BANANAS. Honestly, I think they're the worst fruit ever to exist on the planet.

I absolutley hate the word retarded. You will never hear that word come from my go describe anything. I hate it more than the c word. I won't say anything if I see that word on here, or if someone says it to me on chat, but if they call me that word I will ask them to never call me that again. My dad called me retarded one day, which was why I started cutting inthe first place. He kept doing it until he stopped a few moths ago. Still, every time he would say I was stupid or retarded, I would go any cry into my pillow and my mom would come up and say I was taking it too seriously.
Then, since a few months ago, the popular kids started acting like I was stupid, I sat between two in math, the subject I hate the most, and it was hell. I didn't do my homework often, because I didn't understand it nor did I care, and this guy would ask everyday with a raised eyebrow "Did you do your homework today?" If I didn't, he would roll his eyes. When I did, he would grin and say good job, like ifi was eight.
Then it started happening in my favorite class by my favorite teacher. He started acting like I was stupid, even thought had an A or B in his class. When I got Hermes for our Greek mythology thing, I almost cried because the girl who also got it was the teacher's most worshiped pet. She had the nerve to come up to me when I was filling out my paper, stuff I had all done by memory, and she said "Yup, same as me, they're all right! Good job!" As if I knew nothing about the Greeks.
My teacher sent me out in the hall with my friend because he didnt think I had the right answers on a paper, which of course, was about Romans. She would point to one of us and go "You go now! No, incorrect, it's actually this. Write it down now!"
It got so bad that I punched a locker, outright told them I'm not some idiot,and ran to the bathroom so I could cry against the wall. One of my best friend's came in then.
I wish you could see my smirk when I got a 98 on the test and rubbed it in that bitch's face.
But..my teacher never respected me. He was my favorite, but he worshipped the popular crowd, who bullied others that weren't in their crowd. They were all very religious, my tea her carrying bible everywhere and pointing out things that point to god being real..
I don't care that he got fired :|

Yay for me, I wrote a book. IT's just something I wanted to say for a while, and this did happen April-June for the bitches.

My dad calls me a lot of cuss words, so, in a way, I know how you feel, Alex.
One time... My dad called me an ass and I don't even remember why. So it obviously wasn't important. And my dad calls me dumb sometimes.

A lot of my friends get mad at me because I make excuses for people who are mean to me. Like whenever my sister came and rubbed cream and raspberrys in my face while I was puking my guts up, I said she was probably just teasing and didn't realize the affect it would have on me. My friend that was over was Like, "Really?" and looked at me like 'No.'

I just need to get this off my chest. i feel bad that I haven't told you guys this yet.

For almost a month now I've been considering leaving. I don't feel like any of my character's are really needed in any of the quests, and I'm big on every character being there for a reason. Also, there are moments, especially when I'm already having a bad day or feeling really insecure, that I don't feel like I'm part of the family anymore. Sure I RP with you guys, but there are a lot of times when I feel like a random person on the street watching a happy family through a window. I know it sounds cheesy, but its the best way I can come up with to describe it.

I feel like Teddy is the center for most drama. No joke.