x x x

Your face it haunts

My once pleasant dreams

--Evanescence My Immortal

x x x

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Blair Waldorf as I live and breathe," he announced, walking into Saks.

"I thought I smelled something sinister in the room," Blair replied, turning around to face her visitor. "What are you doing here Chuck? Last I heard you married some Californian whore and you two had twins a year or so ago."

Chuck smirked at Blair while walking over to her. "Well, my dear," he started, "I'm here on what you would call business. An opportunity came up and I flew across the country right away leaving Katherine and the boys at home."

"What kind of opportunity?" Blair asked her face full of skepticism.

"That is a secret. Would you be interested in joining me for a drink or two?" he asked, extending an arm to her.

Blair paused. She knew that she and Chuck were technically friends. They hadn't been together in a long time, their second year of college in fact. She had been at Yale while he attended Stanford and the distance combined with their skill to be terrible to each other had caused them to decide it was best if they broke up. Well it was more along the lines of Blair screaming at him in Barney's when they were home for Christmas Break that he was an inconsiderate ass whom she never wanted to see again, but that was just minor details.

"Come on Blair. We both know that it's nothing, merely two old friends having a few drinks and catching up."

"I wouldn't go so far as to call us friends Chuck, but alright let's go," Blair agreed, following Chuck through the store's door and into his car which was parked outside. As soon as she climbed into the car beside him, she couldn't fight the sense of impending disaster building inside of her.

x x x

The next morning Blair woke up to an empty bed. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly time for her to be up anyway. She slipped out of the bed and into her lavender bathrobe that Nate had given her last year for Christmas.

She could hear Nate in the master bath going about his morning routine so she padded gently down the hall to the spare bathroom. She opened the cupboard for a towel and turned the water on hot, hoping a shower would relax her.

She was unnerved that she had managed to sleep the entire night last night. In fact she felt it could only mean bad things were happing. She knew that if she voiced this to Nate or Serena, or even Dan that they would shake their heads and tell her she was being paranoid. But Blair knew differently. Something wasn't right, and she wasn't sure how she felt about that.

x x x

"So tell me, how does someone as terrified of commitment as you end up married with twins before twenty-five?" Blair asked Chuck twenty-five minutes later when they were comfortably seated at Manhattan's latest, hottest bar with drinks in hand.

Chuck smiled and thought about how to answer the beautiful brunette seated across from him. "Katherine and I met and were friends before we started dating and from there I knew she was it, so I proposed, we had a big white wedding, and then the twins were sort of a result of too much champagne on said white wedding," Chuck explained.

Blair smiled at him, ignoring the sting she felt whenever she remembered that he had found someone else while she was still single and lonely.

"What about you Waldorf? Anyone special in your life?"

"Not really. Nate and I see each other on and off but I think it's more habit then anything," she explained, downing the rest of her drink and signaling to the waitress that she wanted another. She had a feeling that if she was going to make it through this night still standing that she would need a lot of drinks to do so.

x x x

"Morning Blair." Nate smiled as she walked into their dining room thirty minutes later.

"Hi Mommy!" Sophia smiled, her face covered in maple syrup from the waffles their cook had prepared for that morning's breakfast.

Blair walked over to Nate and kissed him lightly on the cheek before bending over and kissing the top of Sophia's head.

"Good morning. Did you have a good sleep Soph?" Blair asked, taking her seat at their table.

"Mmmhmm. And then I woke up and remembered it was Saturday so that meant that cartoons are on and you promised we'd go to the park later today with Daddy."

Blair looked across the table to Nate. "I'm sorry I meant to ask you if it’s okay. If you have to work, we'll go ourselves, it can but just us girls right Soph?"

"No, I actually took the day off. I've been working too much lately and I haven't been able to see much of Sophia."

"Yay!" Sophia smiled, looking at her mom and dad.

"Nate, that was really sweet. How about this Soph? Mommy has to go into work for an hour or two. Then when I'm done, we'll go get lunch and go play in the snow in the park. Sound like a good plan?" Blair asked her daughter.

"Mmhmm," Sophia replied, totally focused on cutting her waffle into pieces that would fit into her tiny little perfect mouth. "Tell Auntie Serena I say hi."

x x x

"I think I'm drunk," Chuck announced to Blair a few hours later.

Blair rolled her eyes. "Oh my, what would your precious Katherine think?" she asked the sarcasm heavy in her voice.

"Well she wouldn't be happy. But she's not here right now either. So I think that I will have another few drinks so I am utterly wasted."

"The family man himself, ladies and gentlemen."

"You're one to talk little miss perfect image, can't ever do anything wrong. You're just as drunk if not more so than I am."

Blair giggled. "I think you may be right Mr. Bass. But then again, who's really watching us anyway?"

"I like the way you think Waldorf."

"I'm brilliant like that."

"So you are my dear, so you are."

x x x

Blair walked the Upper East Side Streets to hers and Serena's office. Nate had again insisted that she call a car to take her into the office, it was cold and slippery out after all, but Blair, being as stubborn as she was, insisted she make the ten block walk on foot.

She pushed open the doors to the impressive lobby and smiled at their receptionist Victoria, before making her way onto the elevators and into her office.

Serena was already there looking a tad bit annoyed at her tardiness, but Blair simply smiled at the gorgeous blond before taking off her stunning red Dior jacked and matching gloves.

She took a seat at her desk and tried to start on some of the paperwork for their latest client before Serena's constant gaze became too much for her and she looked up at her best friend.

"What?" Blair asked.

Serena rolled her eyes. "You waltz in thirty minutes late, the day after Sophia was born, which by the way we both know was the happiest and hardest day of your life and all you have to say to me is 'what'?"

"That is generally the question people ask when another person is staring at them."

"Blair don't start with the whole 'everything is fine, nothing is ever wrong' routine. You forget how long I've known you, and I know when you're acting and when you're actually being truthful."

Blair sighed and set her pen down. "What do you want me to say Serena? That once a year every year, I feel an inhumane amount of joy and at the same time I feel like I'm dying on the inside? Maybe I'm just tired of talking about it, about him. Maybe for the first time in four years I didn't wake up in the middle of the night thinking about him and it’s thrown me through a fucking loop because I don't know what to make of it."

"You didn't wake up last night?"

"Nope. And I don't know what it means and it’s been driving me up a wall all morning."

"Maybe it means you're finally moving on."

Blair wasn't so sure she liked that idea.

x x x

Blair groaned as Chuck slammed her against the wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist and threw her head back as his lips attached themselves to her neck leaving a mark she'd have to cover for weeks.

His hand started wandering down her breast. "Bedroom," she managed to gasp as his hand found its destination.

They stumbled into the walls, remaining lip-locked the entire time, to her bedroom. They stumbled into the bedroom and neither of them registered the sound of a vase crashing onto the floor, sending glass, pink roses, and water everywhere.

He tossed her onto the bed and made quick work of his pants and shirt, leaving himself in just his boxers. She followed suit and he climbed on top of her, sliding them both under the covers.

x x x

Blair smiled when she noticed Nate and Sophia playing in the snow in Central Park. Sophia was running around, her chocolate brown locks streaming out underneath her pink and blue hat.

"Bet you can't catch me daddy!" she yelled, darting in Blair's general direction.

Blair loved watching Nate and Sophia interact when they didn't know she was watching. They were just so adorable, that it always brought a smile to her face, no matter how bad her day had been.

"Mommy!" Sophia exclaimed, noticing Blair and making a beeline straight for her legs.

"Hello my princess." Blair smiled as her daughter crashed into her legs. She bent down to pick up Sophia and hugged her close to her body, kissing the top of her head. "Were you good for Daddy?" She continued walking over to Nate.

"Mmhmm, I was an angel. We played coloring, and then we gotted some lunch from the hot dog man, and then we came here to wait for you."

Blair had ended up having to stay at the office longer than she had expected, so she had called Nate and told him to meet her at the park later and they'd go out for dinner instead of lunch.

"Soph, the hotdogs were supposed to be our little secret remember? Hello sweetheart," he continued leaning over and kissing Blair lightly on the cheek.

"Oops sorry Daddy I forgot."

"Nate, why do you let her eat those things? They're disgusting."

"She likes them and I like them, win win."

"Whatever. How do you feel about going to see the penguins today Soph?" Blair asked, focusing all her attention her daughter.

"Okay! That sounds great!" Sophia replied, wriggling out of Blair's arms and making a mad dash towards the penguins.

"Soph slow down!" Nate called.

"I'll get her," Blair replied, running after Sophia.

She was so focused on catching up with her daughter that she didn't notice the man in front of her until she crashed into him and slipped onto the ground.

"I'm so sorry," she stammered, beginning to get up.

"It’s alright, here let me help you," he replied, turning to face her.

"Mommy! Are you okay?" Sophia asked, dashing over to her mother's side.

"Blair?"

"Chuck?"

x x x