*i do not own gossip girl or characters.
I wanted to run. To leave. I wanted to make Chuck hurt. I wanted to make myself hurt, as I stared into my white porcelain bowl of salvation. But by purging I would only let him win. So, instead I got up, took a sleeping pill, got changed into my La Perla night gown and tried to succumb to sleep. Trying to leave today in the past.
Too bad life can’t be that easy.
At around 3am I felt Chuck slither in beside me. He wrapped his large toned arm around my waist affectionately. The gesture used to be comforting , I used to find protection in his embrace, but now I felt trapped. Claustrophobic. All I could smell was HER, his mistress on him, MY husband. I tried to edge out of his reach, but he wouldn’t have any of it.
“Blair? Honey are you still up?” He whispered in my ear.
Should I play dead? Ask him point blank about his infidelity? Or just pretend to be the regular doting wife?
“Mmmm, Chuck? Did you just get in?” I faked sleepiness.
Guess it was the doting wife tonight.
“Sorry, love, didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.” He tried to hush me.
“ Oh, it’s quite alright. What kept you so long?” I asked trying to keep the anger from my voice.
“Work.”
“Working on what? Or maybe the better question is who?” I asked in a whisper, partially hoping he might hear it, or maybe he’d already gone to sleep.
“WHAT?!” He asked shocked.
“Wow, no denial.” I stated as I jumped out of bed and ran into my ensuite bathroom.
“BLAIR!” He pounded on the door. “LET ME EXPLAIN!”
I opened the door only to say, “your going to wake the kids up, keep you voice down.”
That was about all I had left in me, and I fell to the ground with sobs racking my whole body. He opened the door and rushed in for me, pulling me closer to him.
“GET OFF OF ME!” I shouted at him.
“Blair,” he pleaded with sadness in his eyes.
“What did I do wrong? Are you that sick of me? Am I still fat after having the kids? Am I boring in bed now?”
“Of course not, your beautiful and so sexy. How could you say such things?” He questioned.
“Then why Chuck? Huh? Do you love her?”
He tried to wrap me in his embrace again to calm me down.
“Get. The. Hell. Off. Of. Me.” I bit out. “You stink of her, go change, take a shower, I don’t care just get rid of it.” I pleaded as another round of tears came on.
He left me, and did as I asked. I took that opportunity to leave.
As soon as I heard the shower start in his bathroom, I ran down the marble hallway, down the staircase, snatched my grey YSL pea coat of the hook, and threw on my old pair of Uggs. I could have gotten into my brand new Range Rover sport, or called the limo around, but I had no time. So, I hailed the first cab I saw, and headed to a place of comfort.
TBC...
Please Review :)
I wanted to run. To leave. I wanted to make Chuck hurt. I wanted to make myself hurt, as I stared into my white porcelain bowl of salvation. But by purging I would only let him win. So, instead I got up, took a sleeping pill, got changed into my La Perla night gown and tried to succumb to sleep. Trying to leave today in the past.
Too bad life can’t be that easy.
At around 3am I felt Chuck slither in beside me. He wrapped his large toned arm around my waist affectionately. The gesture used to be comforting , I used to find protection in his embrace, but now I felt trapped. Claustrophobic. All I could smell was HER, his mistress on him, MY husband. I tried to edge out of his reach, but he wouldn’t have any of it.
“Blair? Honey are you still up?” He whispered in my ear.
Should I play dead? Ask him point blank about his infidelity? Or just pretend to be the regular doting wife?
“Mmmm, Chuck? Did you just get in?” I faked sleepiness.
Guess it was the doting wife tonight.
“Sorry, love, didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.” He tried to hush me.
“ Oh, it’s quite alright. What kept you so long?” I asked trying to keep the anger from my voice.
“Work.”
“Working on what? Or maybe the better question is who?” I asked in a whisper, partially hoping he might hear it, or maybe he’d already gone to sleep.
“WHAT?!” He asked shocked.
“Wow, no denial.” I stated as I jumped out of bed and ran into my ensuite bathroom.
“BLAIR!” He pounded on the door. “LET ME EXPLAIN!”
I opened the door only to say, “your going to wake the kids up, keep you voice down.”
That was about all I had left in me, and I fell to the ground with sobs racking my whole body. He opened the door and rushed in for me, pulling me closer to him.
“GET OFF OF ME!” I shouted at him.
“Blair,” he pleaded with sadness in his eyes.
“What did I do wrong? Are you that sick of me? Am I still fat after having the kids? Am I boring in bed now?”
“Of course not, your beautiful and so sexy. How could you say such things?” He questioned.
“Then why Chuck? Huh? Do you love her?”
He tried to wrap me in his embrace again to calm me down.
“Get. The. Hell. Off. Of. Me.” I bit out. “You stink of her, go change, take a shower, I don’t care just get rid of it.” I pleaded as another round of tears came on.
He left me, and did as I asked. I took that opportunity to leave.
As soon as I heard the shower start in his bathroom, I ran down the marble hallway, down the staircase, snatched my grey YSL pea coat of the hook, and threw on my old pair of Uggs. I could have gotten into my brand new Range Rover sport, or called the limo around, but I had no time. So, I hailed the first cab I saw, and headed to a place of comfort.
TBC...
Please Review :)
