Shagrat ran as fast as his little legs could carry him. He could hear the sounds of the Men gaining on him, and he wished for all it was worth that he was just a bit bigger, or faster, like his brother. His brother! Of course! Isthey would save him. Isthey always saved him. Or his mother did. Surely this was no different.
"Isthey! Help me!" Shagrat cried as he went up over the small hill…
…And found himself running straight at another group of Men, just as large and fierce as the ones chasing him. He let out a shrill cry of alarm.
"Mama!" Shagrat cried as the two groups closed in on him, preventing any escape. They sneered cruelly and jabbed at him with their swords.
"Mama!" he cried again, louder now. But there was no answer. As the Men drew closer and closer, Shagrat curled up into a tiny ball on the ground, shuddering in fear and crying hard, waiting for what he knew would be his end. As if from a distance, he heard his mother's anxious, worried voice.
"…Shagrat!...Shagrat!"
--------------------------------------------------
"…Shagrat! Wake up, Shagrat, wake up!"
He opened his eyes, expecting to still see the circle of Men around him. Instead, his mother sat beside him, a worried look on her face.
"Mama! Mama!" The little orc threw himself into his mother's arms and started crying all over again.
"My sweet baby, what's wrong!" the mother, Ninat, asked as she hugged her two-year-old son tight in her arms.
"Bad Men." Shagrat sobbed, "Bad Men wanna get me, Mama. Scary Men." He hid his face in her dress again. Ninat had already guessed what had happened.
"Don't worry, love. There aren't any Men here. You just had a bad dream." She kissed the top of his head gently.
"Bad…dream?" Shagrat repeated. His mother nodded as she wrapped his blanket snugly around him and laid him back down beside his brother, who was still asleep, having gotten used to the baby's frequent nightmares. His mother fluffed up the old blanket that served as pillow for Shagrat.
"And besides, even if there were Men here, they would never hurt you."
"Never?" Shagrat asked.
"Never," Ninat answered, "because Mama wouldn't let them. Do you know why?"
Shagrat knew, but like all little children, he never tired of hearing it. So, naturally, he shook his head.
"Because Mama loves you, little Shagrat. Mama loves you so much." She hugged him tight and kissed her baby's forehead. "And Mama will always love you."
"I wuv you, too, Mama." Shagrat said. Ninat smiled. Her heart was warmed every time she heard his little voice speak those words to her. Shagrat yawned in her arms and was asleep again before she finished laying him down.
"Good night, my sweet children." she said as she turned and pulled the curtain of their small tent closed, leaving her two sons asleep inside. She pressed a hand to her large, round stomach and felt a sharp kick form within. Soon, there would be three children asleep in the small lean-to. Very soon.
--------------------------------------------
When Shagrat and Isthey woke the next day, they both felt a strong tension in the air. An ominous feeling crept over them both, and they did their best to shrug it off. After all, what was there to fear in their forest home, where the only other people were their own?
If they had only known what was about to happen…
Isthey sat on a large rock, watching his baby brother splashing about in the brook and trying to catch one of the long, skinny silver fish that swam in it. He liked watching Shagrat play. It took his mind off whatever he might have been thinking about. Shagrat squealed loudly as he slipped on a rock and fell on his stomach. He lay there for a moment, his face twisted as though in pain or trying to fight some ache within. Then he surrendered and began crying loudly. Isthey sighed. Could there ever be a day his little brother didn't do something that ended with him bawling like this? Isthey pondered this as he went to retrieve Shagrat.
"All right, what did you do THIS time?" Shagrat eyed him, but said nothing. Instead, he went over to Isthey's rock and sat down with his arms crossed.
Isthey was about to ask what his problem was anyway, when a scream from the direction of the Uruk-hai village caught both their ears. They looked at each other, then ran for their home. Their mother would know what to do.
Their village was in chaos. Orcs were screaming and running everywhere they looked. A particularly large one ran straight into Shagrat, knocking him down as it passed without stopping. Shagrat yelped and Isthey ran back to his brother's aid. Another orc slid to a stop to avoid hitting them.
"Ach! Get out of the way, you stupid maggots! Run! Unless you want them to kill you!" The orc didn't wait for them to answer. Instead, he went around them and kept running.
"What's he mean, Isthey?" Shagrat asked, holding tight to his brother's arm.
"I don't know." he answered. Just then, they heard their names.
"Isthey! Thank the Valar, there you are! And you've got Shagrat with you! Good boy!" their mother cried as she raced toward them.
"Mama, what's happening?" Shagrat asked.
"Just run, darling. I promise, I'll tell you, but not now! Go! Run!"
Ninat urged her sons on ahead of her. She wanted to keep them both in her sight, especially little Shagrat, since he was the smaller and weaker of the two. Suddenly, a sharp pain stabbed through her body. Her hand flew to her stomach.
Not now! she thought. It couldn't happen now. but it was. She felt the infant move inside her, but she kept running, despite the growing pain. Suddenly, another pain lanced through her and brought her to the ground screaming
"Mama!" she heard Shagrat yell. She could hear the running footsteps behind her, and knew she would not escape. But her child could.
"Run, Shagrat! Run! Isthey! Take Shagrat and get out of here!" Isthey nodded and pulled Shagrat after him.
"Come ON! She said RUN!" Shagrat reluctantly followed his brother. Until he heard a loud, horrifying shriek of pain. Shagrat loosed a shriek of his own, and with surprising strength, tore free of his brother's hand and ran back the way they had come.
"Shagrat, NO!" Isthey ran after him, but Shagrat had a good lead on him. As he ran, Shagrat now saw what had everyone so scared. Amongst the fleeing orcs, he could now see flashes of what were unmistakably Men. The were on a rampage, and Shagrat was terrified as he saw them mercilessly cutting down any orc they could reach. All around him, orcs were dead or dying on the Men's swords. He kept going. He crested the little hill and saw where the shriek had come from. His mother lay in the grass, her face twisted in pain as she tried to drag herself along. Shagrat started toward her, when a large Man jumped out of nowhere and stood over her. Shagrat stopped, frozen in terror. The Man took no notice of him. Instead, he bent over Ninat, a malicious grin on his face as he recognized the fear in hers.
Without warning, he drove his sword into her stomach and sliced it open. Ninat screamed as blood poured from the wound. From where he watched, Shagrat's eyes went wide, but he stayed rooted where he stood. He saw the Man reach inside as if looking for something. Then he heard the loud wailing sound that could only be the squalling of a newborn. As if to confirm his thoughts, the Man lifted a tiny, squirming bloody creature into the air. Shagrat gasped as he saw where the Man's sword had cut the baby in its side. The Man studied the tiny thing for a moment before throwing it hard at a rock. It hit and screamed even louder. The Man kicked it out into plain view of its mother, who was now sobbing loudly and begging him to let her child live. He gave the vicious grin again and stamped hard on its tiny body. Both Shagrat and Ninat screamed, and Shagrat felt his stomach lurch. The Man continued to stomp on the poor, helpless baby orc, until his last stamp fell on its head. Its squeals were cut short and it was silent.
He had killed it. In cold blood, he had taken its life. And his only reaction was to smile as he turned his attention to the mother.
He slashed wildly at her with his sword, rending numerous gashes in her sides and torso. At one point, he drove the sword into her chest just below her heart and twisted the weapon inside the wound, making her cry out even more. That was all Shagrat needed to see to unfreeze him.
"MAMA! NO!" he cried and ran straight at her. He hit the Man in the leg as he ran. The Man staggered back, taken by surprise at this new arrival. Shagrat threw his tiny arms around his mother's neck, his eyes wide with fear.
"Shagrat? I told you to run!" she gasped.
"I don't wanna leave, Mama." Shagrat said. Ninat knew he couldn't possibly understand what was going on. All he knew was that there was trouble, he was scared, and he always went to her when he was scared. She hadn't wanted him here, hadn't wanted Shagrat to see this. But now that he was here, she would protect him with all she had until she died. So were her thoughts when she saw the silver flash of the Man's knife being drawn. She gave a threatening hiss and held him tighter.
"You may have taken the unborn one from me," she snarled, "but you WILL NOT take my baby son's life!" With that, she threw herself and Shagrat to the side as she saw the knife leave its owner's hand. She thought she had gotten them to safety until she heard the cry of pain from within her arms. She looked down and saw the knife's handle sticking out of Shagrat's arm. The blade had pushed straight through the other side. Blood ran down Shagrat's side and he cried louder and harder than she had ever thought he could. There was only one thought in her mind now, revenge. The Man had hurt her child. He would not live to laugh about it. She pulled her own hunting knife from her belt, and with her remaining strength hurled it at the Man when his back was turned for a moment. It found its mark and buried itself between his shoulders. The Man fell, dead before he hit the ground. Deprived of her strength, Ninat fell onto her back, her arms slipping from around Shagrat. At this, he turned and saw the bloody mess of his mother. Forgetting the searing pain in his arm, he crawled over to her.
"Mama?" he said. She slowly, weakly opened her eyes enough to see him. His little, tear stained face hovering over hers. His big, innocent blue eyes full of tears, some of which fell onto her. He lay down on top of her and she weakly put an arm around him and pulled him closer. She knew this was the last she would ever see of him, and it was the last he would ever see of her.
"Shag…rat." she said weakly.
"Mama, don't leave! I'm scared!" he sobbed. She hugged him against her and felt the warmth of his little body shaking in her arms.
"Don't…cry…love. You'll be…all right." she gasped. There was no way to tell him the truth. She couldn't tell him she was dying, though she figured he knew something awful had happened or was happening. She could still see the knife in his arm, and she wished so badly that she could help it, that she could somehow get rid of his pain. She would have taken it herself just to end her baby's suffering. She stroked him gently and began softly humming an old song to him, a soothing song almost like a lullaby. Shagrat lay in his mother's arms crying softly, until she finished. She gave a loud exhale of breath and he turned to face her.
"Mama…loves you…little…Shagrat. Mama…loves…you…so…much." With her last breath, she confirmed her final thoughts at death.
"…and…Mama…will…always…love…you." And the her eyes closed and she breathed no more.
Shagrat didn't believe what he was seeing.
"Mama? Mama, wake up! Mama!" His tears had started all over again, his eyes now waterfalls.
"Mama, please! MAMA!" he cried. Then he fell back down onto her, crying and sobbing as loud as he could.
------------------------------------------------------
"Shagrat, where are you!" Isthey called. The Men had continued on in the direction they had been running and disappeared. Isthey feared his brother lay among the dead when he heard the unmistakable cry.
"…MAMA!"
Isthey ran up and over the hill, but stopped when he saw the sight that greeted him. A newborn baby lay crushed to death beside the body of its mother. In the mother's arms, another child lay, his body racking with sobs. Isthey slowly approached it until he could put a hand on the baby's shoulder.
"Shagrat?" he said. Shagrat looked up and Isthey's heart shattered immediately. He had seen his brother cry many times, but never like this. Shagrat's little face was far beyond soaked with tears, his eyes red and bloodshot from crying so hard. Isthey wrapped his arms around his little brother and held him close. Shagrat looked up at him and squeaked out the only thing he could manage to say right then.
"Why?"
Isthey hugged his brother tighter.
"I don't know." he said, his own eyes watering, "I don't know why they do this. Oh, Shagrat! You're hurt!" he said spying the knife in the baby's arm and quickly pulling it out, which caused Shagrat to cry even more.
"I want Mama." Shagrat stated through his tears.
"I'm sorry, sweetie. Mama's gone. She…she…died." He had force out the last word, hoping it didn't hit his brother too hard.
"Died?" Shagrat asked. Isthey nodded.
"Mama's gone now. Forever. She's not coming back." Already, he could see more tears in Shagrat's eyes. He didn't know what else to say to comfort his baby brother, whom he knew was trying with all the force of his will to deny this horrid reality. He envied Shagrat for that reason, because Shagrat was still at that tender age of childhood innocence where death and loss were imaginary things that were only talked about, but never really happened. But they had happened. Poor Shagrat was stunned beyond speech as his brother's words finally began to take hold and sink in. He hid his face against Isthey's chest and Isthey felt his tunic becoming moist. He didn't care. At other times, he probably would have been annoyed and yelled at Shagrat to stop crying. But now he could only imagine Shagrat's little heart breaking at the realization that his mother was gone from him and would never return. Shagrat didn't need to be yelled at now. He needed to be held, comforted, loved. He needed to know that he wasn't alone, that someone would still be there to care for him, to hug him and kiss him good night, to dry his tears when he cried, and to protect him from harm. Isthey vowed to himself he would. It was no longer possible for him to go off and leave the baby with their mother. Shagrat needed him now, depended on him. He hugged Shagrat again and stroked his hair gently.
"Mama." Shagrat whimpered pitifully as Isthey stroked his hair, which was damp from sweat and tears. Suddenly, this gave Isthey an idea. Still holding his brother in his arms, Isthey found their mother's eagle feather hairpiece and slowly took it off her.
She'll understand, he thought as he carefully took it out of her thin braid. She probably would have done this herself if she could. She'd probably want it done. For Shagrat's sake.
"Here." He said, fixing the hairpiece onto Shagrat's own little black braid. "Now you can always have a bit of Mama with you, wherever you go." Shagrat stroked the feather gently and rubbed it against his cheek. Then he sank back into his brother's arms, whining softly.
"There now. It's all right, Shagrat. Your big brother's gonna take care of you now. You'll be okay."
"But…Mama…loves me." Shagrat said.
"So do I." Isthey replied. Shagrat stared at him.
"Really?" he inquired. Isthey nodded.
"In fact, I have something else for you." He stuck his hand inside his tunic and pulled out a strip of black leather as wide as two of his fingers with beaded tassels on the ends. It was a necklace his brother had made for him a while back. He had meant to give it to Shagrat on the day they celebrated his birth, but he felt Shagrat needed it more now.
"Your answer is on the inside." he said. Shagrat turned the strip over in his hands and spied the words carefully tooled into the leather. They were the only words he knew how to read but they were all he needed right now. He knew the message was from both his mother and Isthey. Isthey tied the necklace around Shagrat's neck. Shagrat threw his arms around his brother's neck, and as Isthey held him, he recalled the words on the inside of the necklace.
I love you, little Shagrat. And I always will.
"Isthey! Help me!" Shagrat cried as he went up over the small hill…
…And found himself running straight at another group of Men, just as large and fierce as the ones chasing him. He let out a shrill cry of alarm.
"Mama!" Shagrat cried as the two groups closed in on him, preventing any escape. They sneered cruelly and jabbed at him with their swords.
"Mama!" he cried again, louder now. But there was no answer. As the Men drew closer and closer, Shagrat curled up into a tiny ball on the ground, shuddering in fear and crying hard, waiting for what he knew would be his end. As if from a distance, he heard his mother's anxious, worried voice.
"…Shagrat!...Shagrat!"
--------------------------------------------------
"…Shagrat! Wake up, Shagrat, wake up!"
He opened his eyes, expecting to still see the circle of Men around him. Instead, his mother sat beside him, a worried look on her face.
"Mama! Mama!" The little orc threw himself into his mother's arms and started crying all over again.
"My sweet baby, what's wrong!" the mother, Ninat, asked as she hugged her two-year-old son tight in her arms.
"Bad Men." Shagrat sobbed, "Bad Men wanna get me, Mama. Scary Men." He hid his face in her dress again. Ninat had already guessed what had happened.
"Don't worry, love. There aren't any Men here. You just had a bad dream." She kissed the top of his head gently.
"Bad…dream?" Shagrat repeated. His mother nodded as she wrapped his blanket snugly around him and laid him back down beside his brother, who was still asleep, having gotten used to the baby's frequent nightmares. His mother fluffed up the old blanket that served as pillow for Shagrat.
"And besides, even if there were Men here, they would never hurt you."
"Never?" Shagrat asked.
"Never," Ninat answered, "because Mama wouldn't let them. Do you know why?"
Shagrat knew, but like all little children, he never tired of hearing it. So, naturally, he shook his head.
"Because Mama loves you, little Shagrat. Mama loves you so much." She hugged him tight and kissed her baby's forehead. "And Mama will always love you."
"I wuv you, too, Mama." Shagrat said. Ninat smiled. Her heart was warmed every time she heard his little voice speak those words to her. Shagrat yawned in her arms and was asleep again before she finished laying him down.
"Good night, my sweet children." she said as she turned and pulled the curtain of their small tent closed, leaving her two sons asleep inside. She pressed a hand to her large, round stomach and felt a sharp kick form within. Soon, there would be three children asleep in the small lean-to. Very soon.
--------------------------------------------
When Shagrat and Isthey woke the next day, they both felt a strong tension in the air. An ominous feeling crept over them both, and they did their best to shrug it off. After all, what was there to fear in their forest home, where the only other people were their own?
If they had only known what was about to happen…
Isthey sat on a large rock, watching his baby brother splashing about in the brook and trying to catch one of the long, skinny silver fish that swam in it. He liked watching Shagrat play. It took his mind off whatever he might have been thinking about. Shagrat squealed loudly as he slipped on a rock and fell on his stomach. He lay there for a moment, his face twisted as though in pain or trying to fight some ache within. Then he surrendered and began crying loudly. Isthey sighed. Could there ever be a day his little brother didn't do something that ended with him bawling like this? Isthey pondered this as he went to retrieve Shagrat.
"All right, what did you do THIS time?" Shagrat eyed him, but said nothing. Instead, he went over to Isthey's rock and sat down with his arms crossed.
Isthey was about to ask what his problem was anyway, when a scream from the direction of the Uruk-hai village caught both their ears. They looked at each other, then ran for their home. Their mother would know what to do.
Their village was in chaos. Orcs were screaming and running everywhere they looked. A particularly large one ran straight into Shagrat, knocking him down as it passed without stopping. Shagrat yelped and Isthey ran back to his brother's aid. Another orc slid to a stop to avoid hitting them.
"Ach! Get out of the way, you stupid maggots! Run! Unless you want them to kill you!" The orc didn't wait for them to answer. Instead, he went around them and kept running.
"What's he mean, Isthey?" Shagrat asked, holding tight to his brother's arm.
"I don't know." he answered. Just then, they heard their names.
"Isthey! Thank the Valar, there you are! And you've got Shagrat with you! Good boy!" their mother cried as she raced toward them.
"Mama, what's happening?" Shagrat asked.
"Just run, darling. I promise, I'll tell you, but not now! Go! Run!"
Ninat urged her sons on ahead of her. She wanted to keep them both in her sight, especially little Shagrat, since he was the smaller and weaker of the two. Suddenly, a sharp pain stabbed through her body. Her hand flew to her stomach.
Not now! she thought. It couldn't happen now. but it was. She felt the infant move inside her, but she kept running, despite the growing pain. Suddenly, another pain lanced through her and brought her to the ground screaming
"Mama!" she heard Shagrat yell. She could hear the running footsteps behind her, and knew she would not escape. But her child could.
"Run, Shagrat! Run! Isthey! Take Shagrat and get out of here!" Isthey nodded and pulled Shagrat after him.
"Come ON! She said RUN!" Shagrat reluctantly followed his brother. Until he heard a loud, horrifying shriek of pain. Shagrat loosed a shriek of his own, and with surprising strength, tore free of his brother's hand and ran back the way they had come.
"Shagrat, NO!" Isthey ran after him, but Shagrat had a good lead on him. As he ran, Shagrat now saw what had everyone so scared. Amongst the fleeing orcs, he could now see flashes of what were unmistakably Men. The were on a rampage, and Shagrat was terrified as he saw them mercilessly cutting down any orc they could reach. All around him, orcs were dead or dying on the Men's swords. He kept going. He crested the little hill and saw where the shriek had come from. His mother lay in the grass, her face twisted in pain as she tried to drag herself along. Shagrat started toward her, when a large Man jumped out of nowhere and stood over her. Shagrat stopped, frozen in terror. The Man took no notice of him. Instead, he bent over Ninat, a malicious grin on his face as he recognized the fear in hers.
Without warning, he drove his sword into her stomach and sliced it open. Ninat screamed as blood poured from the wound. From where he watched, Shagrat's eyes went wide, but he stayed rooted where he stood. He saw the Man reach inside as if looking for something. Then he heard the loud wailing sound that could only be the squalling of a newborn. As if to confirm his thoughts, the Man lifted a tiny, squirming bloody creature into the air. Shagrat gasped as he saw where the Man's sword had cut the baby in its side. The Man studied the tiny thing for a moment before throwing it hard at a rock. It hit and screamed even louder. The Man kicked it out into plain view of its mother, who was now sobbing loudly and begging him to let her child live. He gave the vicious grin again and stamped hard on its tiny body. Both Shagrat and Ninat screamed, and Shagrat felt his stomach lurch. The Man continued to stomp on the poor, helpless baby orc, until his last stamp fell on its head. Its squeals were cut short and it was silent.
He had killed it. In cold blood, he had taken its life. And his only reaction was to smile as he turned his attention to the mother.
He slashed wildly at her with his sword, rending numerous gashes in her sides and torso. At one point, he drove the sword into her chest just below her heart and twisted the weapon inside the wound, making her cry out even more. That was all Shagrat needed to see to unfreeze him.
"MAMA! NO!" he cried and ran straight at her. He hit the Man in the leg as he ran. The Man staggered back, taken by surprise at this new arrival. Shagrat threw his tiny arms around his mother's neck, his eyes wide with fear.
"Shagrat? I told you to run!" she gasped.
"I don't wanna leave, Mama." Shagrat said. Ninat knew he couldn't possibly understand what was going on. All he knew was that there was trouble, he was scared, and he always went to her when he was scared. She hadn't wanted him here, hadn't wanted Shagrat to see this. But now that he was here, she would protect him with all she had until she died. So were her thoughts when she saw the silver flash of the Man's knife being drawn. She gave a threatening hiss and held him tighter.
"You may have taken the unborn one from me," she snarled, "but you WILL NOT take my baby son's life!" With that, she threw herself and Shagrat to the side as she saw the knife leave its owner's hand. She thought she had gotten them to safety until she heard the cry of pain from within her arms. She looked down and saw the knife's handle sticking out of Shagrat's arm. The blade had pushed straight through the other side. Blood ran down Shagrat's side and he cried louder and harder than she had ever thought he could. There was only one thought in her mind now, revenge. The Man had hurt her child. He would not live to laugh about it. She pulled her own hunting knife from her belt, and with her remaining strength hurled it at the Man when his back was turned for a moment. It found its mark and buried itself between his shoulders. The Man fell, dead before he hit the ground. Deprived of her strength, Ninat fell onto her back, her arms slipping from around Shagrat. At this, he turned and saw the bloody mess of his mother. Forgetting the searing pain in his arm, he crawled over to her.
"Mama?" he said. She slowly, weakly opened her eyes enough to see him. His little, tear stained face hovering over hers. His big, innocent blue eyes full of tears, some of which fell onto her. He lay down on top of her and she weakly put an arm around him and pulled him closer. She knew this was the last she would ever see of him, and it was the last he would ever see of her.
"Shag…rat." she said weakly.
"Mama, don't leave! I'm scared!" he sobbed. She hugged him against her and felt the warmth of his little body shaking in her arms.
"Don't…cry…love. You'll be…all right." she gasped. There was no way to tell him the truth. She couldn't tell him she was dying, though she figured he knew something awful had happened or was happening. She could still see the knife in his arm, and she wished so badly that she could help it, that she could somehow get rid of his pain. She would have taken it herself just to end her baby's suffering. She stroked him gently and began softly humming an old song to him, a soothing song almost like a lullaby. Shagrat lay in his mother's arms crying softly, until she finished. She gave a loud exhale of breath and he turned to face her.
"Mama…loves you…little…Shagrat. Mama…loves…you…so…much." With her last breath, she confirmed her final thoughts at death.
"…and…Mama…will…always…love…you." And the her eyes closed and she breathed no more.
Shagrat didn't believe what he was seeing.
"Mama? Mama, wake up! Mama!" His tears had started all over again, his eyes now waterfalls.
"Mama, please! MAMA!" he cried. Then he fell back down onto her, crying and sobbing as loud as he could.
------------------------------------------------------
"Shagrat, where are you!" Isthey called. The Men had continued on in the direction they had been running and disappeared. Isthey feared his brother lay among the dead when he heard the unmistakable cry.
"…MAMA!"
Isthey ran up and over the hill, but stopped when he saw the sight that greeted him. A newborn baby lay crushed to death beside the body of its mother. In the mother's arms, another child lay, his body racking with sobs. Isthey slowly approached it until he could put a hand on the baby's shoulder.
"Shagrat?" he said. Shagrat looked up and Isthey's heart shattered immediately. He had seen his brother cry many times, but never like this. Shagrat's little face was far beyond soaked with tears, his eyes red and bloodshot from crying so hard. Isthey wrapped his arms around his little brother and held him close. Shagrat looked up at him and squeaked out the only thing he could manage to say right then.
"Why?"
Isthey hugged his brother tighter.
"I don't know." he said, his own eyes watering, "I don't know why they do this. Oh, Shagrat! You're hurt!" he said spying the knife in the baby's arm and quickly pulling it out, which caused Shagrat to cry even more.
"I want Mama." Shagrat stated through his tears.
"I'm sorry, sweetie. Mama's gone. She…she…died." He had force out the last word, hoping it didn't hit his brother too hard.
"Died?" Shagrat asked. Isthey nodded.
"Mama's gone now. Forever. She's not coming back." Already, he could see more tears in Shagrat's eyes. He didn't know what else to say to comfort his baby brother, whom he knew was trying with all the force of his will to deny this horrid reality. He envied Shagrat for that reason, because Shagrat was still at that tender age of childhood innocence where death and loss were imaginary things that were only talked about, but never really happened. But they had happened. Poor Shagrat was stunned beyond speech as his brother's words finally began to take hold and sink in. He hid his face against Isthey's chest and Isthey felt his tunic becoming moist. He didn't care. At other times, he probably would have been annoyed and yelled at Shagrat to stop crying. But now he could only imagine Shagrat's little heart breaking at the realization that his mother was gone from him and would never return. Shagrat didn't need to be yelled at now. He needed to be held, comforted, loved. He needed to know that he wasn't alone, that someone would still be there to care for him, to hug him and kiss him good night, to dry his tears when he cried, and to protect him from harm. Isthey vowed to himself he would. It was no longer possible for him to go off and leave the baby with their mother. Shagrat needed him now, depended on him. He hugged Shagrat again and stroked his hair gently.
"Mama." Shagrat whimpered pitifully as Isthey stroked his hair, which was damp from sweat and tears. Suddenly, this gave Isthey an idea. Still holding his brother in his arms, Isthey found their mother's eagle feather hairpiece and slowly took it off her.
She'll understand, he thought as he carefully took it out of her thin braid. She probably would have done this herself if she could. She'd probably want it done. For Shagrat's sake.
"Here." He said, fixing the hairpiece onto Shagrat's own little black braid. "Now you can always have a bit of Mama with you, wherever you go." Shagrat stroked the feather gently and rubbed it against his cheek. Then he sank back into his brother's arms, whining softly.
"There now. It's all right, Shagrat. Your big brother's gonna take care of you now. You'll be okay."
"But…Mama…loves me." Shagrat said.
"So do I." Isthey replied. Shagrat stared at him.
"Really?" he inquired. Isthey nodded.
"In fact, I have something else for you." He stuck his hand inside his tunic and pulled out a strip of black leather as wide as two of his fingers with beaded tassels on the ends. It was a necklace his brother had made for him a while back. He had meant to give it to Shagrat on the day they celebrated his birth, but he felt Shagrat needed it more now.
"Your answer is on the inside." he said. Shagrat turned the strip over in his hands and spied the words carefully tooled into the leather. They were the only words he knew how to read but they were all he needed right now. He knew the message was from both his mother and Isthey. Isthey tied the necklace around Shagrat's neck. Shagrat threw his arms around his brother's neck, and as Isthey held him, he recalled the words on the inside of the necklace.
I love you, little Shagrat. And I always will.
