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Our life here is rather simple. I feel like the odd man out again, which is the way it always was, I suppose. It is easier to forget that when there is something to take my mind off of it, however. When I have things like tracking the Quileutes and reading their minds to find out whether we are facing a fight with them, I become momentarily important. The other four depend on me for something, and their paired up love matches are secondary in my mind- even if only temporarily.
That has passed now, and we live in a sense of tense peace with the Quileutes. That sounds odd to say. Tense peace. We stay off of their land, and of course we continue to hunt animals only, and they leave us alone. We still feel a tension between their people and ours, a sort of "dare us if you will," or "don't step one foot over the wrong line" sort of feeling is in the air. The members of the Quileutes are able to come freely in and out of town whenever they like, and we see them from time to time. Their body language is clear, but they know they are not able to say a word about who or what we are, not to each other or anyone else. It breaks the treaty.
Aside from that, life is fairly simple. Our house is finished. Work gets done fast when you have 24 hours in a day to do it. It looks wonderful, of course. My room is incredible, and I have plenty of space to put all of my books and other hobbies. There is a grand piano downstairs for me to work on my music as well. Cadillac has a new car out that I was eyeing, and Carlisle says that if I buy any more cars we will have to build a garage to put them all in. This wouldn't bother me at all, as collecting cars seems to be a fondness of mine. Rosalie wouldn't mind either since she seems to have a thing for tinkering with the engines.
The only downside is the fact that I am alone. Once again, shaking off the fact that I am just this empty void, lonely and wasted in this world has caught up with me. It seems as though I can only find temporary fixes to my problem. I think I am due for another vacation- only this time I will make sure my trips are short and planned well. I want to avoid having any problems like the last time I took a trip- the lapse into darkness so deep I became a killing monster. A nightmare even I couldn't wake up from. Ironic considering I don't sleep.
Anyways, I better keep this short, I am wallowing in my own pity again. Shame on me. Maybe I will go wrestle Emmett. Or better yet, I think it is time to go pick on Rosalie. I will tell her she has dirt in her hair. That is always fun.
