From a faraway place
Where the caravan camels roam
Where they cut off your ear /Where it's flat and immense
If they don't like your face /And the heat is intense
It's barbaric, but hey--it's home!
When the wind's at your back
And the sun's from the west
And the sand in the glass is right
Come on down,
Stop on by
Hop a carpet and fly
To another Arabian night!
Arabian nights
Like Arabian days
More often than not
Are hotter than hot
In a lot of good ways
Arabian nights
'Neath Arabian moons
A fool off his guard
Could fall and fall hard
Out there on the dunes.
Ah, Salaam and good evening to you worthy friend.
Please, please, come closer--(Camera zooms in hitting
peddler in face) Too close, a little too close. (Camera
zooms back out to CU)There.Welcome to Agrabah. City of
mystery, of enchantment, and the finest merchandise this
side of the river Jordan, on sale today, come on down!
Heh, heh. Look at this! Yes! Combination hookah and
coffee maker--also makes Julienne fries. Will not break
(taps it on table), will not--(it falls apart)--it
broke. Ooohhh! Look at this! Pulls out Tupperware) I
have never seen one of these intact before. This is the
famous Dead Sea Tupperware. Listen. (Pries it open,
makes raspberry sound.) Ah, still good. (Camera begins
to pan to right. PEDDLER hurries to catch it.) Wait,
don't go! (Stop pan.)I can see that you're only
interested in the exceptionally rare. I think then, you
would be most rewarded to consider...this. (PEDDLER
pulls the MAGIC LAMP out from his sleeve.) Do not be
fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many
things, it is not what is outside, but what is inside
that counts. (Another pan, this one slower to left.
Again, PEDDLER rushes to catch up.) This is no ordinary
lamp! It once changed the course of a young man's life.
A young man who liked this lamp was more than what he
seemed. A diamond in the rough. Perhaps you would like
to hear the tale? (PEDDLER pours shiny sand from the
lamp into his hand.) It begins on a dark night (PEDDLER
throws sand into the sky, where it forms a starry
nightscape.) , where a dark man waits, with a dark
purpose.
(Camera tilts down to find JAFAR sitting on his horse and IAGO
on his shoulder. GAZEEM comes riding up to the pair.)
JAFAR: You...are late.
GAZEEM:A thousand apologies, O patient one.
JAFAR: You have it, then?
GAZEEM:I had to slit a few throats to get it. (Pulls out
half of the medallion. JAFAR reaches out for it,
but GAZEEM yanks it back.) Ah, ah, ahhh! The treasure!
(IAGO squawks as he flies by and grabs the medallion.) Ouch!
JAFAR: Trust me, my pungent friend. You'll get what's
coming to you.
IAGO: What's coming to you! Awk!
(JAFAR pulls out the second half of the medallion. He connects
them, and the insect medallion begins to glow. Finally, it
flies out of JAFAR's hand, scaring the horses, and is off
towards the dunes.)
JAFAR: Quickly, follow the trail!
(All ride off, following the glowing speck of light, until
it reaches a large dune. It separates into two and the
halves plunge into the dune. All that remains are two glowing
points of light on the dune. But then the dune begins to rise
up, transforming into a giant lion's head, with the glowing
points serving as the eyes.)
JAFAR: At last, after all my years of searching, the cave
of wonders!
IAGO: Awk! Cave of wonders!
GAZEEM: By Allah!
JAFAR: Now, remember! Bring me the lamp. The rest of the
treasure is yours, but the lamp is mine!
(GAZEEM starts to approach the lion's mouth, which forms the
entrance to the cave. He chuckles as he goes.)
IAGO: Awk, the lamp! Awk, the lamp! (Now that IAGO and
JAFAR are alone, IAGO opens up in normal English.)
Jeez, where'd ya dig this bozo up?
(JAFAR puts his finger to his lips and shushes him. GAZEEM reaches
the cave, but is blown away by the roar of the cave's speaking.)
CAVE: Who disturbs my slumber?
GAZEEM: It is I, Gazeem, a humble thief.
CAVE: Know this. Only one may enter here. One whose
worth lies far within. A diamond in the rough.
(GAZEEM turns to JAFAR with a questioning look.)
JAFAR: What are you waiting for? Go on!
(GAZEEM hesitates, then moves one foot inside the cave. With
great apprehension, he plants his foot down. Nothing happens.
Relieved, he begins his trek again. Then another roar comes.
He turns back, but the lion's mouth slams shut and the dune
collapses back to normal. All that are left are JAFAR, IAGO,
and the two separated halves of the medallion.)
CAVE: Seek thee out, the diamond in the rough.
(IAGO unburied himself from the sand, coughing as he does so.)
IAGO: I can't believe it. I just don't believe it. We're
never gonna get a hold of that stupid lamp! Just
forget it. Look at this. Look at this. I'm so
ticked off that I'm molting! (He flies up to
JAFAR's shoulder.)
JAFAR: Patience, Iago. Patience. Gazeem was obviously
less than worthy.
IAGO: (Extremely sarcastically) Oh, there's a big
surprise. That's an incred--I think I'm gonna have
a heart attack and die from not surprise! What're
we gonna do? We got a big problem here,a big prob-
(JAFAR pinches his beak shut.)
JAFAR: Yes, we do. Only one may enter. I must find this
one, this...diamond in the rough.
(Cut to a rooftop, where ALADDIN rushes up to the edge, carrying
a loaf of bread. He almost drops it over the edge.)
GUARD: Stop, thief! I'll have your hands for a trophy,
street rat!
ALADDIN: (Looks back, then down, then at the bread.) All
this for a loaf of bread?
(He jumps off, landing on two ropes strung between buildings, with
drying clothes on them. He skies down them, collecting bits
and pieces of clothing on him as he goes. Finally, he's
nearing the end of the rope, at a window, when a woman reaches
out and slams the shutters closed. ALADDIN slams into the
shutters and falls to the street, his fall being broken by
numerous awnings and the pile of clothes around him. He pulls
off the top layer of clothes and is about to enjoy his bread
when...)
GUARD 1: There he is!
GUARD 2: You won't get away so easy!
ALADDIN: You think that was easy?
(He looks at three women, laughing at him.)
GUARD 1: You two, over that way, and you, with me. We'll
find him.
(ALADDIN pulls a sheet over him and wraps himself as a disguise.
He rushes over to the women.)
ALADDIN: Morning, ladies.
WOMAN 1: Getting into trouble a little early today, aren't
we Aladdin?
ALADDIN: Trouble? No way. You're only in trouble if you
get caught--
(A hand grabs ALADDIN's shoulder and yanks him back. It's the
first GUARD. ALADDIN's disguise falls off.)
ALADDIN: I'm in trouble!
GUARD: ...and this time--(A screeching sound from ABU,
then the guard's turban is pulled down over his
eyes. ABU dances on the GUARD's head, laughing.)
ALADDIN: Perfect timing, Abu!
ABU: Hello!
ALADDIN: Come on, let's get outta here!
Gotta keep...one jump ahead of the breadline
One swing ahead of the sword
I steal only what I can't afford
That's everything!
(ALADDIN battles a GUARD wielding a sword. He dodges a couple of
swings, then pulls down the GUARD's pants. ABU raspberries the
GUARD, then dodges an attack. The GUARD swings at ALADDIN,
but destroys a barrel of fish. As ALADDIN runs off, the GUARD
pulls a fish over his lower body as a pair of pants.)
One jump ahead of the lawmen
That's all, and that's no joke
These guys don't appreciate I'm broke!
(ALADDIN and ABU scamper up a pile of barrels, then kick one down
on top of another GUARD.)
GUARDS: (one at a time) Riffraff! Street rat!
Scoundrel! Take that!
ALADDIN: Just a little snack, guys!
(ALADDIN scampers to the top of a platform. The GUARDS shake the
platform back and fro trying to knock him off.)
GUARDS: Rip him open, take it back guys!
ALADDIN: I can take a hint, gotta face the facts
You're my only friend, Abu!
WOMEN: Who?!?
(ALADDIN jumps off the platform to certain death, only to grab ABU's
hands like an acrobat. The pair swing into a harem.)
Oh, it's sad Aladdin's hit the bottom
He's become a one-man rise in crime
(ABU finds a plate full of fruit and stuffs his mouth full like a
chipmunk.)
WOMAN: I'd blame parents, except he hasn't got 'em!
ALADDIN: Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat
Tell you all about it when I got the time!
(ALADDIN and ABU exit. Cut to MUSCLEMAN flexing to a crowd. The
GUARDS rush past. Cut to ALADDIN and ABU behind the MUSCLEMAN,
matching his moves, until they make a mistake and are discovered.)
One jump ahead of the slowpokes
One skip ahead of my doom
Next time gonna use a nom de plume.
One jump ahead of the hitmen
One hit ahead of the flock
I think I'll take a stroll around the block.
(A chase sequence, in which ALADDIN and ABU, pursued by the GUARDS,
race through a flock of sheep, hurdle a MAN sleeping on a bed of
nails {of course one extremely large GUARD lands on him}. ABU
disguises himself with jewels until a SHOPKEEPER discovers him.
CROWD: Stop, thief! Vandal!
Outrage! Scandal!
ALADDIN: Let's not be too hasty
(ALADDIN is surrounded by GUARDS in front of a door. The door opens
and a large, ugly LADY comes out.)
LADY: Still I think he's rather tasty
(ALADDIN tumbles away, then puts his arm around a GUARD, acting
like they're all chums.)
ALADDIN: Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat
Otherwise we'd get along!
GUARDS: WRONG!
(They all jump into a pile and fight. When they stop, ALADDIN and
ABU are gone. They are sneaking away in barrels. They run
across a flaming pit, followed by GUARDS who hop up and down,
screaming in pain as they cross the rocks. ALADDIN and ABU
pass a SWORD SWALLOWER, then ABU goes back, pulls the sword
out of the SWALLOWER's mouth. ABU advances on the guards,
who retreat in fear.)
GUARD 1: He's got a sword!
GUARD 2: You idiot--we've ALL got swords!!
(ABU sets the sword down gently, then runs. ALADDIN and ABU are
once again surrounded, with GUARDS coming from left and right.
He jumps up and climbs a robe trick being done on the street,
as the GUARDS all crash into each other.)
ALADDIN: One jump ahead of the hoofbeats!
CROWD: Vandal!
ALADDIN: One hop ahead of the hump!
CROWD: Street rat!
ALADDIN: One trick ahead of disaster
CROWD: Scoundrel!
ALADDIN: They're quick--but I'm much faster
CROWD: Take that!
(The GUARDS chase ALADDIN up a staircase into a room. He grabs a
carpet and jumps out the window)
ALADDIN: Here goes, better throw my hand in
Wish me happy landin'
All I gotta do is jump!
(The GUARDS follow him out the window, but they go straight down to
the street, and land in a pile with the sign "Crazy Hakim's
Discount Fertilizer." ALADDIN uses the carpet as a parachute
to land safely and out of danger. ALADDIN and ABU high-five each
other.)
ALADDIN: And now, esteemed effendi, we feast! All right!
(ALADDIN breaks the bread in two and gives half to ABU, who begins
to eat. But ALADDIN looks over and sees two young children
rummaging through the garbage for food. The GIRL sees him, then
drops her find and tries to hide. ALADDIN looks at them, then
the bread, then at ABU.)
ABU: Uh-oh!
(ABU takes a big bite of his food, but ALADDIN gets up and walks
over to the children. The GIRL pulls her brother back.)
ALADDIN: Here, go on--take it.
(The children giggle with delight. ABU tries to swallow his bite,
then looks guilty. He walks over to the children and offers his
bread to them. In delight, they pet him on the head.)
ABU: Ah, don't. Huh?
(ABU sees ALADDIN walking into the daylight, where there is a parade
going on.ALADDIN peers over the shoulders of people. He sees
PRINCE ACHMED riding on a horse.)
BYSTANDER 1: On his way to the palace, I suppose.
BYSTANDER 2: Another suitor for the princess.
(ALADDIN is startled as the two children come running out from the
alley. The BOY runs out in front of the PRINCE's horse,
startling it.)
PRINCE: Out of my way, you filthy brat!
(The PRINCE brings up his whip to attack the children, but ALADDIN
jumps in front of them and catches the whip.)
ALADDIN: Hey, if I were as rich as you, I could afford some manners
PRINCE: Oh--I teach you some manners!
(The PRINCE kicks ALADDIN into a mud puddle. The crowd laugh at him.)
ALADDIN: Look at that, Abu. It's not every day you see a
horse with two rear ends!
(The PRINCE stops and turns back to ALADDIN.)
PRINCE: You are a worthless street rat. You were born a
street rat, you'll die a street rat, and only
your fleas will mourn you.
(ALADDIN rushes the PRINCE, but the doors to the castle slam shut
in his face.)
ALADDIN: I'm not worthless. And I don't have fleas. Come
on, Abu. Let's go home.
(ALADDIN makes the climb to his home with the view, then tucks in
ABU for the night.)
ALADDIN: Riffraff, street rat.
I don't buy that.
If only they'd look closer
Would they see a poor boy? No siree.
They'd find out, there's so much more to me.
(He pulls back a curtain to reveal the beautiful palace.)
Someday, Abu, things are gonna change. We'll be
rich, live in a palace, and never have any problems
at all.
(Dissolve to same shot during day. Cut to int. of SULTAN's chamber.
The door bursts open, and PRINCE ACHMED storms in, missing the
rear end of his pants.)
PRINCE: I've never been so insulted!
SULTAN: Oh, Prince Achmed. You're not leaving so soon, are
you?
PRINCE: Good luck marrying her off!
SULTAN: Oh, Jasmine! Jasmine! Jasmine! (The SULTAN goes
off into the garden looking for his daughter. He
finds her, but is interrupted by RAJAH, JASMINE's
pet tiger, who blocks him off. RAJAH has a piece
of the PRINCE's undershorts in his mouth.The SULTAN
grabs the cloth and yanks it out of RAJAH's mouth.)
Confound it, Rajah! So, this is why Prince Achmed
stormed out!
JASMINE: Oh, father. Rajah was just playing with him,
weren't you Rajah. (RAJAH comes over and allows
JASMINE to pet and hug him.) You were just playing
with that overdressed, self-absorbed Prince Achmed,
weren't you? (She cuddles with RAJAH, enjoying the
moment, until she looks up at her angry father. )
Ahem.
SULTAN: Dearest, you've got to stop rejecting every suitor
that comes to call. The law says you...
BOTH: ...must be married to a prince.
(They walk over to a dove cage.)
SULTAN: By your next birthday.
JASMINE: The law is wrong.
SULTAN: You've only got three more days!
JASMINE: Father, I hate being forced into this. (She takes
a dove out of the cage and pets it.) If I do marry,
I want it to be for love.
SULTAN: Jasmine, it's not only this law. (She hands him
the dove, and he puts it back in the cage.) I'm not
going to be around forever, and I just want to make
sure you're taken care of, provided for.
JASMINE: Try to understand. I've never done a thing on my
own. (She swirls her finger in the water of the
pond, petting the fish.)I've never had any real
friends. (RAJAH looks up at her and growls.)
Except you, Rajah. (Satisfied, he goes back to
sleep.) I've never even been outside the palace
walls.
SULTAN: But Jasmine, you're a princess.
JASMINE: Then maybe I don't want to be a princess. (She
splashes the water.)
SULTAN: Oooohhh! Allah forbid you should have any
daughters!
(RAJAH looks up and thinks for a second. JASMINE goes to the dove
cage and yanks open the door. The birds fly off into freedom.
She watches them go. Cut to int. of SULTAN's chambers.)
SULTAN: I don't know where she gets it from. Her mother
wasn't nearly so picky. (A shadow falls over him.
He looks up startled and sees JAFAR.) Ooh, oh.
Ah, Jafar--my most trusted advisor. I am in
desperate need of your wisdom.
JAFAR: My life is but to serve you, my lord. (He bows.)
SULTAN: It's this suitor business. Jasmine refuses to
choose a husband. I'm at my wit's-end.
IAGO: (In the parrot voice) Awk! Wit's-end.
SULTAN: Oh, ha ha. Have a cracker, pretty polly! (He
pulls a cracker out from his pocket. IAGO looks
terrified. Then the SULTAN stuffs it in IAGO's
mouth. IAGO grimaces as he tries to eat it. JAFAR
and the SULTAN both laugh.)
JAFAR: Your majesty certainly has a way with dumb animals.
(IAGO glares at him.) Now then, perhaps I can
divine a solution to this thorny problem.
SULTAN: If anyone can help, it's you.
JAFAR: Ah, but it would require the use of the mystic blue
diamond.
SULTAN: Uh, my ring? But it's been in the family for
years.
JAFAR: It is necessary to find the princess a suitor.
(JAFAR says the word 'princess' with the accent on
the second syllable, "cess." He turns his staff
with a cobra head towards the SULTAN. The eyes of
the staff begin to glow. The room darkens, JAFAR's
voice slows down and deepens. The SULTAN's eyes
get a hypnotized look.) Don't worry. Everything
will be fine.
SULTAN: Everything...will be...fine.
JAFAR: The diamond.
SULTAN: Here, Jafar. Whatever you need will be fine.
(The SULTAN removes his ring and hands it to JAFAR. The room returns
to normal as JAFAR pulls back the staff.)
JAFAR: You are most gracious, my liege. Now run along and
play with your little toys.
SULTAN: (Still hypnotized) Yes...that'll be...pretty good.
(JAFAR and IAGO exit. We follow them. When they're out of the room,
the parrot spits out the cracker.)
IAGO: I can't take it anymore! If I gotta choke down on
one more of those moldy, disgusting crackers...bam!
Whack!
(JAFAR pulls a rope, which reveals a hidden entrance to his chambers.)
JAFAR: Calm yourself, Iago.
IAGO: Then I'd grab him around the head. Whack! Whack!
JAFAR: (Speaking over IAGO.) Soon, I will be sultan, not
that addlepated twit.
IAGO: And then I stuff the crackers down his throat! Ha
ha!
(The pair pass through a door and slam it shut. Diss. to ext. gardens
at night. A shadowy figure walks through. We see it is JASMINE
in disguise. She reaches the palace wall, then begins to climb it.
She is tugged from behind by RAJAH.)
JASMINE: Oh, I'm sorry, Rajah. But I can't stay here and
have my life lived for me. I'll miss you.(She
begins to climb again, and is helped up by RAJAH,
who begins to whine and whimper.) Good bye!
(She disappears over the wall. Cut to daytime on the street ALADDIN
and ABU are up to their capers again. They are on top of the
awning of a fruit stand.)
ALADDIN: Okay, Abu. Go!
(ABU dips over the edge and looks at the PROPRIETOR.)
PROPRIETOR: (To passing crowd) Try this, your taste buds
will dance and sing. (ABU grabs a melon and
hangs there, distracting his attention.) Hey,
get your paws off that.
ABU: Blah blah blah!
PROPRIETOR: Why, you! Get away from here, you filthy ape!
(He grabs the melon away from ABU. But in the foreground, ALADDIN
dips down and snatches another melon from the stand.)
ABU: Bye bye!
(He zings back up. The PROPRIETOR takes the melon to the front,
where he places it on top of a stack. He looks confused, like
he has just done this.)
ALADDIN: Nice goin' Abu. Breakfast is served.
(ALADDIN and ABU on the roof break open the melon and eat. We see J
ASMINE walking through the street.)
SHOPKEEPER 1: Pretty lady, buy a pot. No finer pot in brass
or silver.
SHOPKEEPER 2: Sugar dates, sugar dates and figs! Sugar
dates and pistachios!
SHOPKEEPER 3: Would the lady like a necklace. A pretty
necklace for a pretty lady.
(She is charmed by the action, but is startled by a fish thrust
into her face.)
SHOPKEEPER 4: Fresh fish! We catch 'em, you buy 'em!
JASMINE: I don't think so. (She backs away, but bumps into
a fire eater, who is startled into swallowing his
fire.) Oh, excuse me. (He gulps, then belches
fire from his mouth. JASMINE is disgusted. He is
pleased and taps his stomach. ALADDIN sees her,
and a strange look comes over his face.) I'm
really very sorry.
ALADDIN: (He's obviously deeply in love with her.) Wow!
(She pulls the hood of her cloak over her head. ABU sees him and
jumps up on his shoulder, waving his hand in front of ALADDIN's
face.)
ABU: Uh oh. Hello? Hello?
(JASMINE stops at the fruit stand and sees a young homeless child
reaching for a piece of fruit. She picks one up and gives it to
him.)
JASMINE: Oh, you must be hungry. Here you go. (The
boy runs off.)
PROPRIETOR: You'd better be able to pay for that.
JASMINE: (Mystified) Pay?
PROPRIETOR: No one steals from my cart!
JASMINE: Oh, I'm sorry sir. I don't have any money.
PROPRIETOR: Thief!
JASMINE: Please, if you let me go to the palace, I can
get some from the Sultan.
PROPRIETOR: Do you know what the penalty is for stealing?
(He takes her hand and pins it down on the table, intending to
chop it off.)
JASMINE: No, no please!
(The sword drops, but his hand is stopped by ALADDIN's.)
ALADDIN: Thank you kind sir. I'm so glad you've found
her. I've been looking all over for you.
JASMINE: (whispering) What are you doing?
ALADDIN: (whispering back) Just play along.
PROPRIETOR: You know this girl?
JASMINE: Sadly, yes. She is my sister. She's a little
crazy. (He circles his finger around his ear.
She is shocked. The PROPRIETOR grabs him by
the vest.)
PROPRIETOR: She said she knows the Sultan!
ALADDIN: She thinks the monkey is the Sultan.
(ABU is picking a pocket. He hears this, then straightens up.
JASMINE, playing along, kneels and bows to ABU.)
JASMINE: Oh, wise Sultan. How may I serve you?
ABU: Well, blah blah blah blah.
ALADDIN: Tragic, isn't it? (He leans forward, picking
up another apple from the cart with his
foot.) But, no harm done. (Walks over to
Jasmine.) Now come along sis. Time to see the
doctor.
JASMINE: (To a camel standing nearby) Oh, hello doctor.
How are you?
ALADDIN: No, no, no. Not that one. (To ABU, whose
pockets are bulging.) Come on, Sultan.
(ABU bows to the crowd and everything he's stolen from the cart falls
out.)
PROPRIETOR: Huh? What is it? (ABU picks up what he can
carry, and the trio run off.) Come back here,
you little thieves!
(Cut to int. of JAFAR's lab. IAGO is running on a gear in a bizarre
contraption. At the top of the contraption is a storm brewing.)
IAGO: (huffing and puffing) With all due respect, your
rottenness, couldn't we just wait for a real storm?
JAFAR: Save your breath, Iago. Faster! (He places the
SULTAN's ring in the contraption.)
IAGO: Yes, o mighty evil one.
(IAGO runs faster. A lightning bolt streaks through the ring, passing
into an hourglass below. The sands begin to swirl.)
JAFAR: Ah, sands of time--reveal to me the one who can
enter the cave. (The sand in top forms the Cave of
Wonders. It falls through into a storm, but it
shows ALADDIN climbing up a ladder, followed by
JASMINE who is covered in her cloak.) Yes, yes!
There he is. My diamond in the rough!
IAGO: That's him?!?! That's the clown we've been
waitin' for? (IAGO loses his footing and is sucked
into the gears.)
JAFAR: Let's have the guards extend him an invitation to
the palace, shall we?
(IAGO goes flying past and slams into the wall upside down.)
IAGO: Swell.
(JAFAR laughs hideously, and the camera zooms in on the sandstorm with
ALADDIN in it. Finally, we dissolve into the real ALADDIN climbing
to the top of the ladder, followed by JASMINE.)
ALADDIN: Almost there.
(JASMINE climbs over the top, but trips and falls into ALADDIN's arms.
She stands up.)
JASMINE: I want to thank you for stopping that man.
ALADDIN: Uh, forget it. (He grabs a pole.) So, uh, this is
your first time in the marketplace, huh?
(ALADDIN pole vaults to the next building, leaving JASMINE behind.)
JASMINE: Is it that obvious?
ALADDIN: Well, you do kinda stand out. (He stares at her,
still in love. She returns the look. But he
realizes what he is doing, and returns to normal.)
I mean, uh, you don't seem to know how dangerous
Agrabah can be. (He lays a plank between the
buildings for her to walk over, but as he is leaned
down, she vaults over his head. He looks back in
surprise. She tosses the pole to him. Both
ALADDIN's and ABU's eyes bulge.)
JASMINE: I'm a fast learner.
ALADDIN: Right. C'mon, this way. (They go inside the roof
of a building, dodging planks and beams as they
go.) Whoa. Watch your head there. Be careful.
JASMINE: Is this where you live?
ALADDIN: Yep. Just me and Abu. Come and go as we please.
JASMINE: Fabulous.
ALADDIN: Well, it's not much, (he pulls back the curtain and
exposes the palace) but it's got a great view.
Palace looks pretty amazing, huh?
JASMINE: Oh, it's wonderful.
ALADDIN: I wonder what it would be like to live there, to
have servants and valets...
JASMINE: Oh, sure. People who tell you where to go and how
to dress.
ALADDIN: It's better than here. Always scraping for food
and ducking the guards.
JASMINE: You're not free to make your own choices.
ALADDIN: Sometimes you feel so--
JASMINE: You're just--
BOTH: (in unison) --trapped.
(They look at each other, realizing that they're perfect for one
another. But ALADDIN then realizes where he is, and breaks the
look. He takesthe apple out of ABU's hand and rolls it down his
arm into the hand of JASMINE.)
ALADDIN: So, where're you from?
JASMINE: What does it matter? I ran away, and I am not
going back.
ALADDIN: Really? (He takes a bite from the apple in his
hand, then hands it to ABU, who has a disgusted
look on his face.)
ABU: Why you!
(ALADDIN walks over and sits next to JASMINE.)
JASMINE: My father's forcing me to get married.
ALADDIN: That's--that's awful. (ABU appears from behind the
princess and tries to steal the apple.) Abu!
(ABU races up to a higher point, chattering and cursing as he goes.)
JASMINE: What?
ALADDIN: Abu says that--uh--that's not fair.
ABU: What?
JASMINE: Oh did he?
ALADDIN: Yeah, of course.
JASMINE: And does Abu have anything else to say?
ALADDIN: Well, uh, he wishes there was something he could do
to help.
ABU: Oh, boy!
JASMINE: Hmm, tell him that's very sweet.
(ALADDIN and JASMINE have been getting closer and closer, until
ALADDIN leans in to kiss her. He is interrupted, however,
by the GUARDS, who have found them.)
GUARD: Here you are!
ALADDIN and JASMINE: They've found me! (To each other) They're
after you?
JASMINE: My father must have sent them--
ALADDIN: Do you trust me?
JASMINE: What?
ALADDIN: Do you trust me? (He extends his hand)
JASMINE: Yes. (She takes it.)
ALADDIN: Then jump!
(They both jump off the roof, fall and land in a pile of salt. They
try to get away, but the exit is blocked by a GUARD.)
GUARD: We just keep running into each other, don't we,
street rat?
(Again, the GUARD's turban is pulled down by ABU, but more guards are
here and block the exit. The first GUARD pulls ABU off his head and
throws him in a vase. Three other GUARDS grab ALADDIN.)
GUARD: It's the dungeon for you, boy.
ALADDIN: Hey, get off of me!
JASMINE: Let go of him.
GUARD: (Not realizing she is the princess) Look what we
have here, men--a street mouse. (He throws her
down.)
JASMINE: (standing up and pulling off the hood of her cloak)
Unhand him, by order of the princess.
(The GUARDS suddenly stop and bow, forcing ALADDIN to bow as well.)
GUARD: Princess Jasmine.
ALADDIN: The princess?
ABU: (peeking out from the vase) The princess?
GUARD: What are you doing outside the palace? And with
this street rat?
JASMINE: That's not your concern. Do as I command. Release
him!
GUARD: Well, I would, princess, but my orders come from
Jafar. You'll have to take it up with him.
(The GUARDS drag ALADDIN out, bowing as they go.)
JASMINE: (getting a very pissed-off look) Believe me, I
will.
(Cut to int. of palace, JAFAR emerging from his secret chambers. He
slides the door shut carefully, but the princess comes storming
in before he is finished. He slams it shut, pinning IAGO inside
the door frame.)
JASMINE: Jafar?
JAFAR: Oh, uh, princess.
IAGO: Awk! Jafar, I'm stuck!
JAFAR: How may I be of service to you? (He spreads out his
cape, hiding the door.)
JASMINE: The guards just took a boy from the market, on your
orders.
JAFAR: Your father's charged me with keeping peace in
Agrabah. The boy was a criminal.
JASMINE: What was the crime?
IAGO: I can't breathe, Jafar!
JAFAR: Why, kidnapping the princess, of course.
IAGO: If you could just--(JAFAR kicks him back inside the
door and it slams shut)--wow, that hurt!
JASMINE: He didn't kidnap me! I ran away!
JAFAR: (Walking away as if shocked) Oh, dear! Oh, why
frightfully upsetting. Had I but known.
JASMINE: What do you mean?
JAFAR: Sadly, the boy's sentence has already been carried
out.
JASMINE: What sentence?
JAFAR: (with a sinister tone) Death. (JASMINE gasps.)
By beheading.
JASMINE: No! (She collapses to the floor.)
JAFAR: I am exceedingly sorry, princess.
JASMINE: How could you? (She runs from the room crying.)
(IAGO finally makes it out through the door. He flies up and lands on
JAFAR's shoulder, coughing.)
IAGO: So, how did it go?
JAFAR: I think she took it rather well. (They both get a
sinister smile on their faces.)
(Diss. to JASMINE at night, crying at the edge of the fountain. RAJAH
comes over to comfort her. She pets him.)
JASMINE: It's all my fault, Rajah. I didn't even know his
name.
(Cut to int. of dungeon. Rats scurry by, and we descend until we see
ALADDIN chained to the wall.)
ALADDIN: (to himself) She was the princess. I don't believe
it. I must have sounded so stupid to her.
ABU: (from a distance) Yoo-hoo! Aladdin? Hello!
(ABU appears at the window at the top of the dungeon.)
ALADDIN: Abu! Down here! Hey, c'mon--help me outta these.
(ABU stops, then begins chattering wildly, dropping to the ground. He
wraps a cloth around his head and makes his eyes big in an
imitation of the princess.)
ALADDIN: Hey, she was in trouble. Ah, she was worth it.
(ABU jumps up on ALADDIN's shoulders and pulls a small set of tools
out of his pocket, then frees ALADDIN.)
ABU: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
ALADDIN: Don't worry, Abu. I'll never see her again. I'm a
street rat, remember, and there's a law. She's
gotta marry a prince, she deserves it.
(ABU finally frees ALADDIN's hands.)
ABU: Ta da!
ALADDIN: (Rubbing his wrists) I'm a--I'm a fool
OLD MAN: You're only a fool if you give up, boy.
(We see an OLD MAN sitting in the corner that neither ALADDIN nor ABU
have seen before.)
ALADDIN: Who are you?
OLD MAN: A lowly prisoner, like yourself. But together,
perhaps we can be more.
ALADDIN: I'm listening.
OLD MAN: There is a cave, boy. A cave of wonders. Filled
with treasures beyond your wildest dreams.
Treasure enough to impress even your princess, I'd
wager.
(Listeners will note that the OLD MAN pronounced the word
'princess' as "prin-CESS" rather than the standard pronunciation
of "PRIN-cess." The OLD MAN turns his back, and IAGO sticks
his head out of JAFAR's "old man" disguise.)
IAGO: Jafar, can ya hurry it up? I'm dyin' in here!
ALADDIN: But the law says that only a prince can marry--
OLD MAN: You've heard of the golden rule, haven't you boy?
Whoever has the gold makes the rules.(He grins,
showing a hideously bad mouth.)
ALADDIN: So why would you share all of this wonderful
treasure with me?
OLD MAN: I need a young man with strong legs and a strong
back to go in after it.
ALADDIN: Ah, one problem. It's out there, we're in here?
(The OLD MAN walks to a wall and pushes open a hidden exit.)
OLD MAN: Mmm, mmm, mmm., Things aren't always what they
seem. So, do we have a deal?
(ALADDIN looks at ABU, who shrugs his shoulders.)
ABU: Oh, hmm.
(Cut to desert scene. We see ALADDIN leading a horse with the
OLD MAN and ABU on it. Diss. to cave of wonders.)
CAVE: Who disturbs my slumber?
ALADDIN: It is I, Aladdin.
CAVE: Proceed. Touch nothing but the lamp.
(The cave opens up with a roar, and a staircase appears in front of
ALADDIN. )
OLD MAN: Remember, boy--first fetch me the lamp, and then
you shall have your reward.
ALADDIN: C'mon, Abu. (to ABU hiding under the shoulder of
his vest.)
(ALADDIN begins to descend the staircase. He reaches the bottom
and enters a golden chamber filled with treasure.)
ALADDIN: Would ya look at that!
ABU: Uh oh!
ALADDIN: Just a handful of this stuff would make me richer
than the sultan!
(ABU peeks out, sees the treasure, then bolts for it.)
ALADDIN: Abu!
(ABU stops in mid run, hovering over a rug on the floor.)
ALADDIN: Don't...touch...anything! We gotta find that lamp.
(They begin to make their way through the room when the CARPET rises
off the floor and begins following them. ABU gets the feeling
they're being followed.)
ABU: Huh?
(He turns, and the CARPET lies flat on the floor. He continues, and
the CARPET begins to follow again. Again, ABU turns back, but the
CARPET is rolled up and leaning against a pile of treasure. ABU
runs to ALADDIN and tugs his pant leg.)
ABU: Aladdin! Aladdin!
ALADDIN: Abu, will ya knock it off?
(Again the CARPET follows, but this time, when ABU turns, the carpet
jumps to the other side. It reaches down with a tassel and pulls
ABU's tail. When ABU jumps around, CARPET again goes to the other
side. This time, ABU lands in a karate stance. CARPET reaches
down and plucks ABU's hat off, then puts it on himself. ABU sits
thinking for a second, until CARPET waves a tassel in front of his
face. ABU and CARPET both jump scared, and run away. ABU tackles
ALADDIN and turns his head to look at the CARPET.)
ALADDIN: Abu, what are you--crazy?
(The CARPET peeks out from behind a pile of treasure.)
ALADDIN: A magic carpet! C'mon. C'mon out. I'm not gonna
hurt you.
(The CARPET slowly comes out, shyly, then picks up ABU's hat and dusts
it off. It flies over to ALADDIN and hands the hat to ABU next to
him. ABU screeches, and jumps onto ALADDIN's shoulder.)
ALADDIN: Take it easy, Abu. He's not gonna bite.
(The CARPET again picks up ABU's hat and hands it to him. ABU shakes
his fist and screeches at it. CARPET begins to walk away, "sadly.")
ALADDIN: Hey, wait a minute. Don't go. Maybe you can help
us. (CARPET looks back, excited. It then flies
over and wraps around the pair.) Hey, whoa! You
see, we're trying to find this lamp. (CARPET
motions for them to follow it.) I think he knows
where it is.
(They pass through a long cave, until they emerge in a giant
underground cavern. In the centre of the room is a tall pillar,
with a staircase going up to it. It is surrounded by water
with unevenly placed stones forming a bridge. At the top of
the pillar is a beam of light. ALADDIN begins to cross the bridge.)
ALADDIN: Wait here!
ABU: Oh. Huh?
(ABU sees a shrine with a golden monkey. The outstretched paws hold a
giant ruby. ABU is hypnotically drawn to it. ALADDIN climbs the
stairs quickly. CARPET sees ABU and grabs his tail trying in vain
to hold him back. ALADDIN finally reaches the MAGIC LAMP.)
ALADDIN: This is it? This is what we came all the way down
here to-- (He looks down and sees ABU break free
of CARPET's hold and lunge toward the jewel.) Abu-
NO!
(ABU grabs the jewel. There is a rumbling and the room begins to
shake.)
CAVE VOICE: Infidels!
ABU: Uh oh!
CAVE VOICE: You have touched the forbidden treasure. (ABU
places the jewel back into the paw, but the jewel
and the shrine melt into lava.) Now you
will never again see the light of day!
(ALADDIN races down the steps, but they flatten into a ramp, and he
skies down until he flies into the air. The water has turned into
lava. He is falling toward it, when all of a sudden CARPET appears
and catches him. ABU is standing on one of the rocks of the
bridge. He looks left and right and sees rocks exploding into lava.
Then CARPET races over and ALADDIN grabs him, just as the last rock
is exploding.)
ALADDIN: Whoa! Carpet, let's move!
(Together, they race back through the caves dodging walls and falling
debris. ABU grabs ALADDIN's head and covers his eyes.)
ALADDIN: Abu, this is no time to panic! (He pulls ABU off
his head and sees they are flying into a wall.)
Start panicking.
(CARPET goes into a dive, then through another cave. Finally, they
emerge through the internal entrance. Outside, the cave begins to
growl and close. CARPET and company are almost to the top when a
boulder drops on carpet, sending it to the floor. ALADDIN grabs
onto the rock wall and holds on. He sees the OLD MAN at the top,
within reach.)
ALADDIN: Help me out!
OLD MAN: Throw me the lamp!
ALADDIN: I can't hold on. Give me your hand.
OLD MAN: First give me the lamp!
(ALADDIN reaches in and pulls out the MAGIC LAMP. He hands it up, a
nd the OLD MAN raises it above his head.)
OLD MAN: Ha ha ha ha! Yes! At last! Ha ha ha ha!
(ALADDIN has climbed out with the assistance of ABU. But the OLD
MAN kicks aside ABU and grabs ALADDIN's wrist.)
ALADDIN: What are you doing?
OLD MAN: Giving you your reward. (JAFAR returns to his
normal voice.) Your eternal reward.
(He pulls out a crooked dagger and is about to stab ALADDIN, when
ABU bites him on the wrist. He screams, but lets go of ALADDIN,
who falls into the cave. OLD MAN throws ABU into the cave as
well. They fall. CARPET sees this, but is pinned under a
boulder. It struggles to break free, then does. It races
up and catches ALADDIN, but he has already hit the wall several
times, and is unconscious. On the surface, the cave roars one
final time, then sinks back into the sand. JAFAR pulls off
his disguise.)
JAFAR: Heh heh heh! It's mine. It's all mine! I (He can't
find it in his pocket)--- where is it? No. NO!!
(Kiss fade to JASMINE's bedroom. She is sitting on her bed, next
to RAJAH who looks sad. The SULTAN walks in.)
SULTAN: Jasmine? Oh, dearest. What's wrong?
JASMINE: Jafar...has...done something... terrible. (She
looks as if she's been crying.)
SULTAN: There, there, there, my child--we'll set it right.
Now, tell me everything.
(Cut to int. of cave. ALADDIN lies unconscious on the CARPET.
ABU tries to wake him.)
ABU: Oh, oh. Aladdin? Wake up. Aladdin.
(CARPET rises up, lifting ALADDIN up. He awakes slowly.)
ALADDIN: Oh, my head. (He looks at the entrance sealed in.)
We're trapped. (Angry, shaking his fists at the
entrance) That two faced son-of-a-jackal! (Calmer)
Whoever he was, he's long gone with that lamp.
ABU: Aha!
(ABU pulls out the MAGIC LAMP.)
ALADDIN: Why, you hairy little thief! Looks like such a
beat-up, worthless piece of junk. Hey, I think
there's something written here, but it's hard to
make out.
(He rubs the LAMP. Suddenly smoke comes out of the hole, the
LAMP begins to shake and glow, but ALADDIN holds onto the
LAMP, and our wonderful friend, the GENIE comes out.)
GENIE: Aaaaahhhhh! OY! Ten-thousand years will give ya
such a crick in the neck! (He hangs ALADDIN on a
nearby rock. Then he pulls his head off and spins
it around, yelling as he does so. CARPET pulls a
ALADDIN down.) Whoa! Does it feel good to be
outta there! (GENIE uses the lamp end of himself as
a microphone.) Nice to be back, ladies and
gentlemen. Hi, where ya from? (Sticks the mic in
ALADDIN's face.) What's your name?
ALADDIN: Uh, Al--uh--Aladdin.
GENIE: (Says his name as if he's discovered something
major) Aladdin! (A neon sign lights up with
ALADDIN's name on it, circled by chase lights. The
sign changes to reflect the GENIE's upcoming line.)
Hello, Aladdin. Nice to have you on the show. Can
we call you 'Al?' Or maybe just 'Din?' Or how
bout 'Laddi?' (GENIE disappears, then a dog
wrapped in plaid jumps in.) Sounds like 'Here, boy!
C'mon, Laddi!'
ALADDIN: (Shaking his head) I must have hit my head harder
than I thought.
GENIE: (Still a dog) Do you smoke? Mind if I do? (Dog
poofs into smoke, then back to the GENIE. ABU
screeches wildly.) Oh, sorry Cheetah--hope I
didn't singe the fur! Hey, Rugman! Haven't seen
you in a few millennia! Slap me some tassel! Yo!
Yeah! (CARPET flies over and high fives the GENIE.
GENIE looks at ALADDIN.) Say, you're a lot smaller
than my last master. (Lifts his beer-gut.) Either
that or I'm gettin' bigger. Look at me from the
side--do I look different to you?
ALADDIN: Wait a minute! I'm--your master?
GENIE: (Slaps a diploma in ALADDIN's hand and a
mortarboard on his head.) That's right! He can
be taught!! What would you wish of me, (as Arnold
Schwarzenegger) the ever impressive,(inside a
cube) the long contained, (as a ventriloquist with
a dummy) often imitated, (tosses the dummy aside)
but never duplicated--
(He multiplies into multiple GENIES who surround him.)
DUP. GENIES: Duplicated, duplicated, duplicated,
duplicated, duplicated, duplicated,
duplicated, duplicated, duplicated.
GENIE: (Says it like a ring announcer at a boxing match.)
Genie! Of! The Lamp! (Goes into Ed
Sullivan) Right here direct from the lamp, right
here for your enjoyment wish fulfillment.
Thank youuuuu!
ALADDIN: Whoa! Wish fulfillment?
GENIE: Three wishes to be exact. And ix-nay on the
wishing for more wishes. (Turns into a slot
machine, arm pulls down and three GENIEs appear in
the windows.) That's it--three. (Three GENIE
caballeros come out of the slot.) Uno, dos, tres.
(Changes into b/w Groucho Marx.) No
substitutions, exchanges or refunds. (The duck
drops with the secret word "Refunds.'
ALADDIN: (To ABU) Now I know I'm dreaming.
GENIE: (Music for "Friend Like Me" begins) Master, I don't
think you quite realize what you've got here! So
why don't you just ruminate, whilst I illuminate
the possibilities. (GENIE lights up like a
fluorescent light)
Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves
Scheherazadie had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeve
You got a brand of magic never fails!
(GENIE produces 40 thieves who surround ALADDIN with swords.
GENIE appears in his vest, then sticks his arms out and boxes
the thieves into submission.)
You got some power in your corner now
Some heavy ammunition in your camp
You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how
See all you gotta do is rub that lamp
And I'll say
(Boxing ring appears, ALADDIN in the corner, being massaged
by GENIE. Then GENIE turns into a pile of fireworks and
explodes. Then GENIE appears inside lamp and grabs ALADDIN's
hand and rubs lamp with it.)
Mister Aladdin sir
What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, jot it down
You ain't never had a friend like me
No no no!
(GENIE produces a table and chairs, then writes down things on a
note pad, like a waiter. )
Life is your restaurant
And I'm your maitre' d!
C'mon whisper what it is you want
You ain't never had a friend like me.
(GENIE appears as a plate of chicken, then returns to normal,
but enlarges his ear to listen to ALADDIN. Finally, he explodes
into four duplicate GENIEs.)
Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service
You're the boss, the king, the shah!
Say what you wish, it's yours! True dish
How about a little more Baklava?
(The GENIEs give him a shave, haircut and manicure, then ALADDIN
appears in a comfy chair (eh?) surrounded by the treasure
and being fanned by women. The GENIE appears and fills the
screen with baklava.)
Try some of column 'A'
Try all of column 'B'
I'm in the mood to help you dude
You ain't never had a friend like me
(ALADDIN rises up on a column of food with a giant A on top,
then jumps to another column with a B on top. He falls off
and is caught by a cushion held by GENIE. He opens his mouth,
and his tongue turns into a staircase. A miniature GENIE
dressed like a magician comes out.)
(The mini GENIE does a little dance with the GENIE's two giant
hands. At the end, they surround the mini GENIE and squish
him into nothing.)
Can your friends do this?
Do your friends do that?
Do your friends pull this out their little hat
Can your friends go poof!
Well looky here
Can your friends go Abracadabra, let 'er rip
And then make the sucker disappear?
(The GENIE pulls off his head, duplicates it, then juggles them.
He tosses them to ALADDIN, who juggles with one hand and spins
one of the heads on his fingertip like a basketball. He tosses
the heads back onto the GENIE, who proceeds to try and pull
himself out of a hat at his base. He spirals around and around
until he turns into a white rabbit. The rabbit transforms into
a purple dragon (very reminiscent of Figment from EPCOT Center).
The dragon breathes fire, which turns into three HAREM GIRLS,
who dance around ALADDIN. Just as he begins to enjoy them,
they disappear.)
So don't you sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers
You got me bona fide, certified
You got a genie for a charg? d'affairs!
I got a powerful urge to help you out
So what you wish I really want to know
You got a wish that's three miles long, no doubt
So all you gotta do is rub like so, and oh!
(GENIE imitates what he is calling ALADDIN, then turns into a
certificate which rolls up and surrounds ALADDIN. GENIE pulls
a list {written in Arabic} out of ALADDIN's ear, which he uses
to rub his behind like drying off after a shower.)
Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three
I'm on the job, you big nabob
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never...had a... friend... like...me!
You ain't never had a friend like me!
(The dancing HAREM GIRLS reappear, and ALADDIN leans in to kiss one.
She turns into the GENIE, who zaps four dancing elephants into
existence. To the other direction, he zaps in four dancing camels,
and a grand finale dancing number ensues. ABU grabs as much gold
as he can, but the GENIE wraps everything up in a cyclone and
zaps it away until they're all back in the cave. GENIE has a
neon "APPLAUSE" sign on his back. ABU turns his hat over and
sees that is is empty.)
GENIE: So what'll it be, master?
ALADDIN: You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want?
GENIE: (As William F. Buckley) Ah, almost. There are a
few provisos, a couple of quid pro quos
ALADDIN: Like?
GENIE: Ah, rule number one: I can't kill anybody. (He
slices his head off with his finger.) So don't
ask. Rule two: I can't make anyone fall in love
with anyone else. (Head turns into a big pair of
lips which kiss ALADDIN.) You little punim, there.
(Lies flat, then gets up and transforms into a
zombie.) Rule three: I can't bring people back from
the dead. It's not a pretty picture, (He grabs
ALADDIN and shakes him) I don't like doing it! (He
poofs back to normal.) Other than that, you got
it!
ALADDIN: (Looks at ABU as if plotting) Ah, provisos? You
mean limitations? On wishes? (To ABU) Some all
powerful genie--can't even bring people back from
the dead. I don't know, Abu--he probably can't even
get us out of this cave. Looks like we're gonna
have to find a way out of here--
(They start to leave, but a big blue foot stomps down in front of
them.)
GENIE: Excuse me? Are you lookin' at
me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up, did
you bring me here? And all of a sudden, you're
walkin' out on me? (Gets madder and madder) I
don't think so, not right now. You're gettin' your
wishes, so siddown! (They all get on CARPET.
GENIE takes the form of a stewardess, with lots of
arms pointing out the exits.) In case of
emergency, the exits are here, here, here,
here,here, here, here, here, here, here, here,
here, anywhere! Keep your hands and arms inside
the carpet. Weeee'rrrrrreee...outta here!
(The CARPET and passengers fly out of the sand in the desert and off
into the distance. Cut to int. of SULTAN's chamber. JAFAR is
there with IAGO, JASMINE and the SULTAN.)
SULTAN: Jafar, this is an outrage. If it weren't for all
your years of loyal service... . From now on,
you are to discuss sentencing of prisoners with me,
before they are beheaded.
JAFAR: I assure you, your highness, it won't happen again.
SULTAN: Jasmine, Jafar, now let's put this whole messy
business behind us. Please?
JAFAR: My most abject and humblest apologies to you as
well, princess. (He takes her hand to kiss it, but
she yanks it away.)
JASMINE: At least some good will come of my being forced to
marry. When I am queen, I will have the
power to get rid of you.
SULTAN: That's nice. All settled, then. Now, Jasmine,
getting back to this suitor business, (he
looks and sees Jasmine walking out) Jasmine?
Jasmine! (He runs after her.)
JAFAR: If only I had gotten that lamp!
IAGO: (As JASMINE) I will have the power to get rid of
you! D'oh! To think--we gotta keep kissing
up to that chump, and his chump daughter for the
rest of our lives...
JAFAR: No, Iago. Only until she finds a chump husband.
Then she'll have us banished--or beheaded!
BOTH: Eeewww!
IAGO: (Has an idea) Oh! Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
Jafar? What if you were the chump husband?
JAFAR: (He looks at IAGO in insult) What?
IAGO: Okay, you marry the princess,all right? Then, uh,
you become sultan!
JAFAR: Oh!Marry the shrew? I become sultan. The idea has
merit!
IAGO: Yes, merit! Yes! And then we drop papa-in-law and
the little woman off a cliff! (Dive bombs into the
floor) Kersplat!
JAFAR: Iago, I love the way your foul little mind works!
(Both laugh as we cut to an oasis in the desert, where CARPET is
coming in for a landing.)
GENIE: (Still as stewardess) Thank you for choosing Magic
Carpet for all your travel needs. Don't stand
until the rug has come to a complete stop. (As
ALADDIN and ABU get off down the stairway formed by
CARPET) Thank you. Good bye, good bye! Thank you!
Good bye! (Back to normal) Well, now. How about
that, Mr. doubting mustafa?
ALADDIN: Oh, you sure showed me. Now about my three wishes-
GENIE: Dost mine ears deceive me? Three? You are down by
ONE, boy!
ALADDIN: Ah, no--I never actually wished to get out of the
cave. You did that on your own.
(GENIE thinks for a second, then his jaw drops. He turns into a
sheep.)
GENIE: Well, don't I feel just sheepish? All right, you
baaaaad boy, but no more freebies.
ALADDIN: Fair deal. So, three wishes. I want them to be
good. (To GENIE) What would you wish for?
(GENIE is hanging like a hammock between two trees.)
GENIE: Me? No one's ever asked me that before. Well, in
my case, ah, forget it.
ALADDIN: What? No, tell me.
GENIE: Freedom.
ALADDIN: You're a prisoner?
GENIE: It's all part-and-parcel, the whole genie gig.
(Grows gigantic, voice echoes) Phenomenal cosmic
powers! (Shrinks down, cramped in MAGIC LAMP.)
Itty bitty living space
ALADDIN: Genie, that's terrible.
GENIE: (Comes out of the LAMP) But, oh--to be free. Not
have to go "Poof! What do you need? Poof! What do
you need? Poof! What do you need?" To be my own
master, such a thing would be greater than all the
magic and all the treasures in all the world! But
what am I talking about, here? Let's get real
here. It's not gonna happen. Genie, wake up and
smell the hummus
ALADDIN: Why not?
GENIE: The only way I get outta this is if my master
wishes me out. So you can guess how often that's
happened.
ALADDIN: I'll do it. I'll set you free.
GENIE: (Head turns into Pinocchio's with a long nose) Uh
huh, right. Whoop!
ALADDIN: No, really, I promise. (He pushes the nose back in
and GENIE's head returns to normal.) After make my
first two wishes, I'll use my third wish to set you
free. (He holds out his hand)
GENIE: Well, here's hopin'. (Shakes ALADDIN's hand.)
O.K. Let's make some magic! (Turns into a
magician.) So how 'bout it. What is it you want
most?
ALADDIN: Well, there's this girl--
GENIE: Eehhh! (Like a buzzer, and GENIE's chest shows a
heart with a cross through it.) Wrong! I can't
make anybody fall in love, remember?
ALADDIN: Oh, but Genie. She's smart and fun and...
GENIE: Pretty?
ALADDIN: Beautiful. She's got these eyes that just...and
this hair, wow...and her smile.
GENIE: (Sitting in a Parisian cafe with ABU and CARPET.)
Ami. C'est l'amour.
ALADDIN: But she's the princess. To even have a chance, I'd
have to be a--hey, can you make me a prince?
GENIE: Let's see here. (Has a "Royal Cookbook".) Uh,
chicken a'la king? (Pulls out a chicken with a
crown on its head) Nope. Alaskan king crab?
(Yanks out his finger, and we see SEBASTIAN the crab from
"The Little Mermaid" clamped on.) Ow, I
hate it when they do that. Caesar's salad? (A
dagger comes out and tries to stab him.) Et tu,
Brute? Ah, to make a prince. (Looks slyly at
ALADDIN.) Now is that an official wish? Say the
words!
ALADDIN: Genie, I wish for you to make me a prince!
GENIE: All right! Woof woof woof woof! (Takes on square
shoulders and looks like Arsenio Hall. Then becomes
a tailor/fashion designer.) First, that fez and
vest combo is much too third century. These
patches--what are we trying to say--beggar? No!
Let's work with me here. (He takes ALADDIN's
measurements, snaps his fingers and ALADDIN is
outfitted in his prince costume.) I like it, muy
macho! Now, still needs something. What does it
say to me? It says mode of transportation. Excuse
me, monkey boy! Aqui, over here! (ABU tries to
cover himself with CARPET, but GENIE zaps him and
he flies over.)
ABU: Uh oh!
GENIE: Here he comes, (ALADDIN and GENIE are on a game
show set, where ALADDIN stands behind a podium with
"AL" on it.) And what better way to make your
grand entrance on the streets of Agrabah, than
riding your very own brand new camel! Watch out,
it spits! (A door bearing the GENIE's head on it
opens, where ABU is transformed into a camel. He
spits out the side of his mouth on cue. But the
GENIE's not sure.) Mmm, not enough. (He snaps his
fingers and ABU turns into a fancy white horse.)
Still not enough. Let's see. What do you need?
(The GENIE snaps his fingers repeatedly, turning
ABU into: a duck, an ostrich, a turtle, and a '57
Cadillac, with license plate "ABU 1." (That one's
a guess, I don't know cars, but judging by the tail
fins, 'nuff said.) Finally, he's returned to
normal.) Yes!! Esalalumbo, shimin dumbo! Whoa!!
(And on the keyword of the spell, Dumbo, ABU turns
into an elephant. CARPET struggles to get out from
under ABU's size 46 feet.) Talk about your trunk
space, check this action out!
(ABU sees his reflection in a pool of water, then jumps into a tree.
The tree naturally bends right back down to the ground, where ABU
hangs on and looks at ALADDIN upside down.)
ALADDIN: Abu, you look good.
GENIE: He's got the outfit, he's got the elephant, but
we're not through yet. Hang on to your turban,
kid, cause we're gonna make you a star!
(We zoom out slowly with the oasis in the distance, as fireworks
begin to explode outward. Cut to a CU of a pile of toys.
(Look for the BEAST here.) We tilt up and see the SULTAN
balancing them. He carefully balances the last piece on top,
then sits back and sighs. JAFAR storms in, though, and the
pile collapses.)
JAFAR: Sire, I have found a solution to the problem with
your daughter.
IAGO: Awk! The problem with your daughter!
SULTAN: Oh, really?
JAFAR: (Unrolling a scroll) Right here. "If the princess
has not chosen a husband by the appointed time,
then the sultan shall choose for her."
SULTAN: But Jasmine hated all those suitors! (He tries to
stuff a cracker into IAGO's mouth. IAGO backs
away. The SULTAN absentmindedly pulls the cracker
back.) How could I choose someone she hates?
(IAGO is relieved, but the SULTAN quickly stuffs a
cracker in his mouth.)
JAFAR: Not to worry, my liege. There is more. If, in the
event a suitable prince cannot be found, a princess
must then be wed to...hmm...interesting.
SULTAN: What? Who?
JAFAR: The royal vizier! Why, that would be...me!
SULTAN: Why, I thought the law says that only a prince can
marry a princess, I'm quite sure.
JAFAR: Desperate times call for desperate measures, my
lord. (He pulls out the staff and hypnotizes the
SULTAN with it.)
SULTAN: Yes...desperate measures...
JAFAR: You will order the princess to marry me.
SULTAN: I...will order...the princess...to...(the spell
breaks momentarily)...but you're so old!
JAFAR: (Holds the staff closer) The princess will marry
me!
SULTAN: The princess will marry...(the spell is again
broken, this time by the trumpet fanfare of "Prince
Ali".) What? What is that? That music! Ha ha ha.
Jafar., you must come and see this!
(We see an advancing parade, led by what appears to be the GENIE in
human form as a MAJOR.)
MARCHERS: Make way for Prince Ali!
SWORDSMEN: Say hey! It's Prince Ali!
MAJOR: Hey, clear the way in the old bazaar,
Hey you, let us through, it's a bright new star,
Now come, be the first on your block to meet his eye!
Make way, here he comes,
Ring bells, bang the drums.
You're gonna love this guy
(The MAJOR mingles amongst different crowd members.)
Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa!
Genuflect, show some respect
Down on one knee
(ABU the elephant marches through town, with ALADDIN (ALI) on his back.)
Now try your best to stay calm
Brush up your Sunday Salaam
And come and meet his spectacular coterie.
(IAGO is dancing to the music until JAFAR glares at him. The
MAJOR "wheelbarrows" six men up onto ABU's trunk. They stand
on each other's shoulders as ALI shakes hands.)
Prince Ali, mighty is he, Ali Ababwa!
Strong as ten regular men, definitely
He faced the galloping hordes
A hundred bad guys with swords
Who sent those goons to their lords, why Prince Ali!
(The pile collapses on ALI, but a GENIE (tm) brand lightning bolt
zaps the pile and he ends up holding them all up in an acrobatic
wheel formation. The GENIE turns into an old man, then a child
and speaks the last two lines to the crowd.)
CHORUS OF MEN:(Carrying the camels) He's got seventy-five golden camels!
(In pops a typical parade commentator)
HARRY: Don't they look lovely, June?
CHORUS OF WOMEN: (On a float) Purple peacocks, he's got fifty-three!
(In comes another commentator.)
JUNE: Fabulous, Harry, I love the feathers!
GENIE: (GENIE is off screen, a giant balloon gorilla proceeds down
the parade)
When it comes to exotic type mammals
Has he got a zoo, I'm telling you
It's a world class menagerie!
(GENIE pops in as a leopard, then a goat, and speaks the last two
lines to the two children from earlier. We cut to a balcony,
where three HAREM GIRLS are joined by the HAREM GENIE.)
GENIE:
GIRLS: (in couterpoint)
Prince Ali, Handsome is he, Ali Ababwa
There's no question this Ali's alluring
That physique, how can I speak
Never ordinary, never boring
Weak at the knee
E
