Diary of a Wimpy Kid Fan Fiction
Main character as a female


Night before First Day of School
Welp. Here it is. It’s the beginning of a new school year and my mom handed me one of these diary things again. It’s getting easier to write in, but that doesn’t make the start of middle school any easier. You know? I’m starting seventh grade this year. They say seventh grade is a hard year. Boys and girls date. Dances become “important.” And my older brother says it’s the beginning to the “awkward middle school years.” WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!

My older brother, Roderick, told me this story about the “cheese touch.” He said something about a piece of cheese that has been sitting in the girl’s locker room for over ten years now. AND the last time someone touched it, they move to Alaska. ALASKA! I don’t want to move across the nation because of a piece of cheese.

Well, I should probably get ready to go to bed. Before mom and dad come and yell at me. I don’t know why they keep enforcing this idea of a bedtime. Like hello, I’m in middle school now! No need to tell me to turn my iPhone off, geez.

Rest of September
Well, the start of middle school has been interesting. All of these kids are dating now, but for some reason, no boy wants to like me. Like why? I’m Great!!!

So, I decided to change a couple of things about myself. For one, I’m going to start only wearing leggings, uggs, and a hoodie. It’s something about being “basic.” I don’t know what it really means, but all the “basic” girls have boyfriends! (Mom says I can’t waste all of my money on Starbucks though… good thing I don’t even really like coffee).

It has been a week since I have changed my look. Still no luck. BUT my best friend, who is definitely number 102 out of 200 on the popular scale AND below me (I rank in at probably like 70), GOT A BOYFRIEND!! WHAT?? ARE YOU SERIOUS?? She doesn’t even dress “basic!” Instead, she dresses “hipster.” LIke what is wrong with these boys? I’M MORE POPULAR THAN HER! These boys are just stupid.

October
Well now it’s October, a lot of things are happening during this month, including student council nominations and elections, newspaper editors, and Halloween. I’ve thought about running for student council this year. I think this grade really needs someone with some sense and who can at least dress “basic.” Like who would want something advanced??? Mom and Dad think that it will look good on my “resume” but really, It will just boost my popularity. I told mom that I can’t join any musical groups because this will take up all of my time. She told me that I haven’t even been elected so how do I know it will take up my time? I told her it just will. She didn’t buy that answer.

I submitted my speech for student council into the teacher in charge. She told me I needed to talk more than just being “basic” and “allowing texting during classes.” She told me they were not valid proposals for the school and would not better the entirety of the school. Doesn’t she understand this is just a popularity contest and no one really cares about the “real” issues?

It has been a busy week. I submitted my student council paperwork on Monday and now I’m submitting my newspaper editor application on Wednesday. I figured I would have to win at least one of these things. Like I’m definitely more popular than the other losers running. Plus, I’m more basic.

Welp, I didn’t win either. The teachers told me I was eliminated from both contests and elections because my speech and applications failed to answer the questions asked and the goals of the school. It just seemed like a dumb reason to kick me out of both races. Whatever, I’m over it.

Halloween
Well tonight is Halloween. I decided to be a cat. For some reason all of the real popular girls, like the girls ranked 1-20 seem to always be cats. I figured if I was a cat, it may help to boost my popularity. Mom took me to the party store last night in order to find all of the proper parts of my costume I needed. I figured my black leggings would work and still keep me pretty basic. I got a cat headband, tail, and some black paint to paint whiskers on my face.

I wore my cat costume to school. BUT for some reason all of the popular girls came dressed in as MINIONS!!! WHAT!! Minions?? Isn’t that for like four year olds? People kept pointing at me and saying my costume was “so last year.” I got to my locker, and my best friend came up next to me dressed as a minion, too!!! How did she know??? For the five minutes we stood at our lockers, about 8-10 people came up to her telling her how awesome her minion costume looked! I’m baffled. Ugh. Another Halloween down the drain. Not even the candy could make this one better.

… ps. my parents ate all of my candy. Filmed my reaction. Want to know their excuses and reasons? Jimmy Kimmel told them to do it. WHAT!!! Come on!!!

Thanksgiving
Well fast forward a couple weeks. I guess you can say I kind of forgot to write in here. I’ve been very busy. It’s the holiday season. For the past three weeks I have been trying to convince my parents to go Black Friday shopping with me. Want to know what they said? That it would disrupt their Thanksgiving Dinner!!! I don’t know how they expect me to fulfill my basic needs if they will never take me shopping! So, instead of shopping for Uggs and yoga pants, I sat at the dining room table for three hours.

December
Well, it’s December. You know what that means? Christmas. So I figured it was acceptable to write my wish list on the first day of December. My parents need time to prepare, right? I’m not asking for much this year, just a couple of things to help boost my basic wardrobe. I asked mom and dad for new 2 pairs of Uggs, yoga pants (from Pink, DUH), Starbucks giftcards, and a phone upgrade to the latest iPhone. I really didn’t ask for much and since I didn’t ask for much, my parents should have no issues getting all of it.

Christmas Day
...I walked downstairs to see boxes piled on the floor. IT WAS FINALLY CHRISTMAS MORNING. Mom and Dad told us to be patient and wait for grandma and grandpa to arrive before opening gifts, I don’t know why. So when they finally arrived, we all began to rip open our presents…


To be continued.