Running from Chicagoat to San Franciscolt is a railroad called the Union Pacific. It's the largest railroad in the United States, and is run by thousands of ponies. This is the story of some of those ponies that run the rails, aka railroading.
Episode 1: New worker
Cheyenne, July 26, 1950
Coffee Creme: *walking on platform*
Orion: Hey, are you the new fire mare?
Coffee Creme: Yes.
Orion: Alright, you're working with another pony on that passenger train. You're going to Las Pegasus. Good luck on your first day.
Coffee Creme: Thanks *walks to engine*
Hawkeye: Hi, you must be my new fire mare.
Coffee Creme: Yup.
Hawkeye: Name's Peirce Hawkins, though some ponies call me Hawkeye. Climb aboard, and we'll get going.
Coffee Creme: *enters locomotive*
Hawkeye: Alright, all you have to do is use this shovel, to put all the coal into this firebox. I'll let you know when to stop.
Coffee Creme: *shoveling coal*
Hawkeye: *waiting for signal*
Snowflake: *turns signal green*
Hawkeye: Alright, once I pull this lever, we'll get the wheels moving, and we're outta here. *pulls lever*
The wheels moved, but Hawkeye's train didn't go anywhere
Hawkeye: Come on. You're made to pull this!
Coffee Creme: *shoveling coal*
Hawkeye: Alright. Now we're moving.
Coffee Creme: Can I stop?
Hawkeye: Sure. Now get to the right side of the cab, and look out for anything that could get in our way. We don't want that happening.
Coffee Creme: So how far is L.P from here?
Hawkeye: I'd say about 200 miles. We only have to go as far as Denver. When we get there, another crew will take over, and we'll take control of another train.
Coffee Creme: Does it say which one?
Hawkeye: It says a train with diesels.
Coffee Creme: Well, that's very helpful. Surely the engine must have a number.
Hawkeye: It does, and don't call me shirley.
Coffee Creme: What number is it?
Hawkeye: Doesn't say. It must be lost from it's owner.
Soon, the two ponies arrived at Denver. Another train pulled by diesels stopped on the other side of the platform
Hawkeye: *climbs out*
Honey Bee: *climbs out* Hi Hawkeye.
Hawkeye: What's good Honey?
Honey Bee: I'm going to Las Pegasus. I see you have the new worker.
Hawkeye: Yeah.
Coffee Creme: I'm Coffee Creme
Honey Bee: Yeah, that's cool. *walks away*
Coffee Creme: What was that all about?
Hawkeye: She's not use to new workers. After a while, the new worker disease will be cured.
Gordon: *climbs out of engine* Well, I see they hate the new worker so far.
Hawkeye: They like her. In fact they like her so much that they didn't want her going with you.
Gordon: Ugh. Go fuck something.
Hawkeye: Please be more specific. "Something" does not help.
Gordon: UGH!!!! *walks away*
Hawkeye: *climbs in* Alright. Says here that we are going back to Cheyenne.
Coffee Creme: *climbs in* What about this freight train?
Hawkeye: We take it to the trainyard, and let the workers there do whatever. After that, it goes off to St. Foalis.
Coffee Creme: Alright then, let's go.
Hawkeye: Ok. *waits for green signal*
Coffee Creme: What are you waiting for?
Hawkeye: See that red light?
Coffee Creme: Yeah.
Hawkeye: We can't go until it turns green.
Coffee Creme: When does that happen?
Hawkeye: When you make it vomit.
Coffee Creme: *laughs* Now for real, what happens that makes the light turn green.
Hawkeye: We gotta wait for a train infront of us. It just turned yellow.
Coffee Creme: What does that mean?
Hawkeye: It means we can go, but the train in front of us hasn't cleared our path. *pushes lever*
The train started to move, when two ponies in a truck got ahead.
Hawkeye: *stops*
Coffee Creme: Is this the maintenence crew?
Hawkeye: It is. The best one we have too. Those ponies named Percy, and Jeff really know how to repair tracks.
Coffee Creme: They seem to be doing good.
Hawkeye: Yeah. *blows horn*
Percy: Better luck next time Hawkeye! You can't scare us!
Hawkeye: I'll win next time. And if I do, you'll owe me $4!
Jeff: You'll owe us $8 if we win!
Percy: Alright, it's all fixed.
Hawkeye: Thanks guys!
Percy: *drives away*
Hawkeye: *drives train*
When Hawkeye, and Coffee Creme got to Cheyenne, they were heading towards the train yard.
Hawkeye: *stops*
Coffee Creme: Ok, we're hear. Now what?
Hawkeye: Now we uncouple the locomotives, and put them in the servicing facility. Meanwhile, three engines will get behind the train, and push it down the hump.
Coffee Creme: How do you hump a train?
Hawkeye: You don't. It goes down a hill which is called the hump, because it goes uphill, and shortly after that it goes downhill.
Coffee Creme: Is that it?
Hawkeye: Sort of. The cars in the train get uncoupled, and they go to different parts in the yard. The operator here is quick on her hooves.
Coffee Creme: What's her name?
Hawkeye: Red Rose. You can see her through the windows in that tower.
Orion: Hey. Get your engines uncoupled, and let's go.
Hawkeye: Sure thing. *uncouples engines* Alright. We're set. *enters locomotive*
Coffee Creme: *follows*
Orion: *couples engines*
Red Rose: *switches tracks*
Hawkeye: *gets out of way*
Orion: *pushes train*
Hawkeye: And now, enjoy the action.
A few ponies were uncoupling cars, and when that happened they rolled down the hill.
Hawkeye: *enters servicing facility*
Coffee Creme: What happens here?
Hawkeye: These engines are going to be maintained. Whether it's being repaired, or refueling this is where it goes after delivering a train.
Coffee Creme: Cool. What do we have to do?
Hawkeye: Let the maintenance crew work on it.
Coffee Creme: I thought they repaired the tracks.
Hawkeye: That's one of them. The other maintenance crew works here to look over locomotives. We head back to the station, and wait for another assignment.
Coffee Creme: Ok.
Pete: Hello Hawkeye! How have you been doing giving our new worker a tour of the Union Pacific?
Hawkeye: Fine, just fine. And she's been doing good too.
Pete: Well then. I'm glad that I had you hired. See you around. *walks off*
Coffee Creme: I suppose that's the owner of this railroad.
Hawkeye: You could say that. He just controls the area that we work in. His name is Pete Reimer.
Coffee Creme: Alright. What do we do now?
Hawkeye: We go back to the station, and wait for our next assignment.
Coffee Creme: Is that it?
Hawkeye: Pretty much.
They both got to the station. At the signal tower nearby was a pegasus walking towards them.
Hawkeye: Snowflake, what are you doing?
Snowflake: It's 7 PM. Our shift is over.
Hawkeye: Oh. Alright then.
Coffee Creme: What now?
Hawkeye: We usually go hangout at Snowflake's house. Wanna join us?
Coffee Creme: Sure.
The three ponies then walked out of the station, and towards their cars.
Snowflake, Hawkeye, and Coffee Creme drove to Snowflake's house. When they got there, the three were playing monopoly
Coffee Creme: Can I ask you a question?
Hawkeye: Sure.
Coffee Creme: Why is Gordon such an ass?
Hawkeye: He was once a great driver, until he accidentally killed Pete's wife. Now he basically acts mean towards everypony for no reason.
Coffee Creme: That's terrible.
Snowflake: *rolls dice* Yeah. It's hard to believe, but it's true. How much do I owe you?
Hawkeye: It's New York avenue with two houses, so you owe me 90 dollars.
Snowflake: Here *hands over 100 dollar bill*
Hawkeye: Thank you.
Coffee Creme: What was it like before Gordon killed Pete's wife?
Hawkeye: He was working for the Santa Neigh railroad. It happened about two years ago
February 13, 1948
Hawkeye: *waits at station*
Gordon: *driving train*
Pete: Darling, where are you going?
Theresa: I'm going for a walk.
Pete: Alright, but come back soon. Our train leaves soon.
Honey: Surely this signal has to turn green someday.
Hawkeye: It will, and don't call me Shirley.
Theresa: *on bridge* Is this part of your line?
Pete: No, that belongs to the Santa Neigh line.
Gordon: *driving train*
Pete: Watch out!!
Theresa: Ah! *drops purse*
Gordon: *going 50* Get outta the way!!
Theresa: *grabs purse*
Pete: Hurry up!
Present day, July 27, 1950
Hawkeye: Then, the unfortunate occurred.
Coffee Creme: That's so terrible!
Hawkeye: It's even terrible bringing it up.
Snowflake: Forget that, my car is beating your train!
Hawkeye: We're on roads, not train tracks. *rolls dice*
Coffee Creme: Great, now he's gonna buy the Baltimare & Ohio!
Hawkeye: Yeah. Why don't they have the Union Pacific on here though?
Snowflake: Hey, that's a good point.
Gordon: *enters house*
Coffee Creme: Uh, aren't you supposed to be in Las Pegasus?
Gordon: No. May'be, who cares? *drinks beer*
Hawkeye: You're not drinking because of that accident in '48 are you?
Gordon: No! How dare you bring that up?!!?
Hawkeye: New worker.
Gordon: Then I'll have her fired.
Hawkeye: You can't fire her Gordon! She hasn't done anything wrong!
Gordon: She has interfered with a superior engineer! *drinks more beer*
Hawkeye: Alright, look. I know you're upset, but drinking booze won't help. Just forget about that, and look forward to the future. You got that?
Gordon: Hey.. You know what? You're right.
Snowflake: *rolls dice*
Gordon: In fact you're so right, that it's a lie! *leaves house*
Hawkeye: Well, it was worth a try.
Coffee Creme: What now?
Hawkeye: It's almost eight. I have to get going.
Snowflake: Ok, bye,
Hawkeye: See you *walks out of house*
The End
Next up in Ponies On The Rails
The Union Pacific decides to borrow some engines, but Hawkeye has other plans.
SeanTheHedgehog: Copyright 2013
Episode 1: New worker
Cheyenne, July 26, 1950
Coffee Creme: *walking on platform*
Orion: Hey, are you the new fire mare?
Coffee Creme: Yes.
Orion: Alright, you're working with another pony on that passenger train. You're going to Las Pegasus. Good luck on your first day.
Coffee Creme: Thanks *walks to engine*
Hawkeye: Hi, you must be my new fire mare.
Coffee Creme: Yup.
Hawkeye: Name's Peirce Hawkins, though some ponies call me Hawkeye. Climb aboard, and we'll get going.
Coffee Creme: *enters locomotive*
Hawkeye: Alright, all you have to do is use this shovel, to put all the coal into this firebox. I'll let you know when to stop.
Coffee Creme: *shoveling coal*
Hawkeye: *waiting for signal*
Snowflake: *turns signal green*
Hawkeye: Alright, once I pull this lever, we'll get the wheels moving, and we're outta here. *pulls lever*
The wheels moved, but Hawkeye's train didn't go anywhere
Hawkeye: Come on. You're made to pull this!
Coffee Creme: *shoveling coal*
Hawkeye: Alright. Now we're moving.
Coffee Creme: Can I stop?
Hawkeye: Sure. Now get to the right side of the cab, and look out for anything that could get in our way. We don't want that happening.
Coffee Creme: So how far is L.P from here?
Hawkeye: I'd say about 200 miles. We only have to go as far as Denver. When we get there, another crew will take over, and we'll take control of another train.
Coffee Creme: Does it say which one?
Hawkeye: It says a train with diesels.
Coffee Creme: Well, that's very helpful. Surely the engine must have a number.
Hawkeye: It does, and don't call me shirley.
Coffee Creme: What number is it?
Hawkeye: Doesn't say. It must be lost from it's owner.
Soon, the two ponies arrived at Denver. Another train pulled by diesels stopped on the other side of the platform
Hawkeye: *climbs out*
Honey Bee: *climbs out* Hi Hawkeye.
Hawkeye: What's good Honey?
Honey Bee: I'm going to Las Pegasus. I see you have the new worker.
Hawkeye: Yeah.
Coffee Creme: I'm Coffee Creme
Honey Bee: Yeah, that's cool. *walks away*
Coffee Creme: What was that all about?
Hawkeye: She's not use to new workers. After a while, the new worker disease will be cured.
Gordon: *climbs out of engine* Well, I see they hate the new worker so far.
Hawkeye: They like her. In fact they like her so much that they didn't want her going with you.
Gordon: Ugh. Go fuck something.
Hawkeye: Please be more specific. "Something" does not help.
Gordon: UGH!!!! *walks away*
Hawkeye: *climbs in* Alright. Says here that we are going back to Cheyenne.
Coffee Creme: *climbs in* What about this freight train?
Hawkeye: We take it to the trainyard, and let the workers there do whatever. After that, it goes off to St. Foalis.
Coffee Creme: Alright then, let's go.
Hawkeye: Ok. *waits for green signal*
Coffee Creme: What are you waiting for?
Hawkeye: See that red light?
Coffee Creme: Yeah.
Hawkeye: We can't go until it turns green.
Coffee Creme: When does that happen?
Hawkeye: When you make it vomit.
Coffee Creme: *laughs* Now for real, what happens that makes the light turn green.
Hawkeye: We gotta wait for a train infront of us. It just turned yellow.
Coffee Creme: What does that mean?
Hawkeye: It means we can go, but the train in front of us hasn't cleared our path. *pushes lever*
The train started to move, when two ponies in a truck got ahead.
Hawkeye: *stops*
Coffee Creme: Is this the maintenence crew?
Hawkeye: It is. The best one we have too. Those ponies named Percy, and Jeff really know how to repair tracks.
Coffee Creme: They seem to be doing good.
Hawkeye: Yeah. *blows horn*
Percy: Better luck next time Hawkeye! You can't scare us!
Hawkeye: I'll win next time. And if I do, you'll owe me $4!
Jeff: You'll owe us $8 if we win!
Percy: Alright, it's all fixed.
Hawkeye: Thanks guys!
Percy: *drives away*
Hawkeye: *drives train*
When Hawkeye, and Coffee Creme got to Cheyenne, they were heading towards the train yard.
Hawkeye: *stops*
Coffee Creme: Ok, we're hear. Now what?
Hawkeye: Now we uncouple the locomotives, and put them in the servicing facility. Meanwhile, three engines will get behind the train, and push it down the hump.
Coffee Creme: How do you hump a train?
Hawkeye: You don't. It goes down a hill which is called the hump, because it goes uphill, and shortly after that it goes downhill.
Coffee Creme: Is that it?
Hawkeye: Sort of. The cars in the train get uncoupled, and they go to different parts in the yard. The operator here is quick on her hooves.
Coffee Creme: What's her name?
Hawkeye: Red Rose. You can see her through the windows in that tower.
Orion: Hey. Get your engines uncoupled, and let's go.
Hawkeye: Sure thing. *uncouples engines* Alright. We're set. *enters locomotive*
Coffee Creme: *follows*
Orion: *couples engines*
Red Rose: *switches tracks*
Hawkeye: *gets out of way*
Orion: *pushes train*
Hawkeye: And now, enjoy the action.
A few ponies were uncoupling cars, and when that happened they rolled down the hill.
Hawkeye: *enters servicing facility*
Coffee Creme: What happens here?
Hawkeye: These engines are going to be maintained. Whether it's being repaired, or refueling this is where it goes after delivering a train.
Coffee Creme: Cool. What do we have to do?
Hawkeye: Let the maintenance crew work on it.
Coffee Creme: I thought they repaired the tracks.
Hawkeye: That's one of them. The other maintenance crew works here to look over locomotives. We head back to the station, and wait for another assignment.
Coffee Creme: Ok.
Pete: Hello Hawkeye! How have you been doing giving our new worker a tour of the Union Pacific?
Hawkeye: Fine, just fine. And she's been doing good too.
Pete: Well then. I'm glad that I had you hired. See you around. *walks off*
Coffee Creme: I suppose that's the owner of this railroad.
Hawkeye: You could say that. He just controls the area that we work in. His name is Pete Reimer.
Coffee Creme: Alright. What do we do now?
Hawkeye: We go back to the station, and wait for our next assignment.
Coffee Creme: Is that it?
Hawkeye: Pretty much.
They both got to the station. At the signal tower nearby was a pegasus walking towards them.
Hawkeye: Snowflake, what are you doing?
Snowflake: It's 7 PM. Our shift is over.
Hawkeye: Oh. Alright then.
Coffee Creme: What now?
Hawkeye: We usually go hangout at Snowflake's house. Wanna join us?
Coffee Creme: Sure.
The three ponies then walked out of the station, and towards their cars.
Snowflake, Hawkeye, and Coffee Creme drove to Snowflake's house. When they got there, the three were playing monopoly
Coffee Creme: Can I ask you a question?
Hawkeye: Sure.
Coffee Creme: Why is Gordon such an ass?
Hawkeye: He was once a great driver, until he accidentally killed Pete's wife. Now he basically acts mean towards everypony for no reason.
Coffee Creme: That's terrible.
Snowflake: *rolls dice* Yeah. It's hard to believe, but it's true. How much do I owe you?
Hawkeye: It's New York avenue with two houses, so you owe me 90 dollars.
Snowflake: Here *hands over 100 dollar bill*
Hawkeye: Thank you.
Coffee Creme: What was it like before Gordon killed Pete's wife?
Hawkeye: He was working for the Santa Neigh railroad. It happened about two years ago
February 13, 1948
Hawkeye: *waits at station*
Gordon: *driving train*
Pete: Darling, where are you going?
Theresa: I'm going for a walk.
Pete: Alright, but come back soon. Our train leaves soon.
Honey: Surely this signal has to turn green someday.
Hawkeye: It will, and don't call me Shirley.
Theresa: *on bridge* Is this part of your line?
Pete: No, that belongs to the Santa Neigh line.
Gordon: *driving train*
Pete: Watch out!!
Theresa: Ah! *drops purse*
Gordon: *going 50* Get outta the way!!
Theresa: *grabs purse*
Pete: Hurry up!
Present day, July 27, 1950
Hawkeye: Then, the unfortunate occurred.
Coffee Creme: That's so terrible!
Hawkeye: It's even terrible bringing it up.
Snowflake: Forget that, my car is beating your train!
Hawkeye: We're on roads, not train tracks. *rolls dice*
Coffee Creme: Great, now he's gonna buy the Baltimare & Ohio!
Hawkeye: Yeah. Why don't they have the Union Pacific on here though?
Snowflake: Hey, that's a good point.
Gordon: *enters house*
Coffee Creme: Uh, aren't you supposed to be in Las Pegasus?
Gordon: No. May'be, who cares? *drinks beer*
Hawkeye: You're not drinking because of that accident in '48 are you?
Gordon: No! How dare you bring that up?!!?
Hawkeye: New worker.
Gordon: Then I'll have her fired.
Hawkeye: You can't fire her Gordon! She hasn't done anything wrong!
Gordon: She has interfered with a superior engineer! *drinks more beer*
Hawkeye: Alright, look. I know you're upset, but drinking booze won't help. Just forget about that, and look forward to the future. You got that?
Gordon: Hey.. You know what? You're right.
Snowflake: *rolls dice*
Gordon: In fact you're so right, that it's a lie! *leaves house*
Hawkeye: Well, it was worth a try.
Coffee Creme: What now?
Hawkeye: It's almost eight. I have to get going.
Snowflake: Ok, bye,
Hawkeye: See you *walks out of house*
The End
Next up in Ponies On The Rails
The Union Pacific decides to borrow some engines, but Hawkeye has other plans.
SeanTheHedgehog: Copyright 2013
Robotnik: Pingas!
Song: link
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..
Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - Rainbow Dash
Edward Richtofen from Call Of Duty: Black Ops - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland Show - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack
Now, let's begin with the intro
Theme song: link
Japanese Men: *Singing* My Rittre Pornstar. My Rittre Pornstar. Ah ah ah ah, My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight:...
#5: A LONLY JEW ON CHRISTMAS:
Good song.
Shitty episode..
#4: CARTMAN/POKERFACE:
Makes me laugh every time..
#3: MAKE LOVE EVEN WHEN I'M DEAD:
Clearly a parody of Triller my M. Jackson..
And considering that's my favorite song by him (and I don't have to many). I can't help but add it..
#2: KYLES MOM IS A BITCH:
It's funny how catchy it actually is.
Guess that's why I like it..
#1: LITTLE BOY YOUR GOING TO HELL:
I don't know how on earth they got James Hetfield in South Park.
But who cares!
It's James-friggin-Herfield!.
And I love how he just comes in, with the big "NOO!" it's both funny and badass at the sme time :D"..
Good song.
Shitty episode..
#4: CARTMAN/POKERFACE:
Makes me laugh every time..
#3: MAKE LOVE EVEN WHEN I'M DEAD:
Clearly a parody of Triller my M. Jackson..
And considering that's my favorite song by him (and I don't have to many). I can't help but add it..
#2: KYLES MOM IS A BITCH:
It's funny how catchy it actually is.
Guess that's why I like it..
#1: LITTLE BOY YOUR GOING TO HELL:
I don't know how on earth they got James Hetfield in South Park.
But who cares!
It's James-friggin-Herfield!.
And I love how he just comes in, with the big "NOO!" it's both funny and badass at the sme time :D"..
EPISODE 1:
Man: (Cleaning a red Bodhi truck, witch is Trever's tradition car in the game).
Trevor: (comes in, wearing his traditional white t-shirt and sweatpants) Hey. Nice car man.
Man: Jee. Thanks mister..
Trevor: Say. Wanna see something, (gives the man a random magazine).
Man: (camera zoomed up on him) What am I supposed to do with this!?
Trevor: (shown in the car when the camera zoomed back out) It's supposed to distract you as I steal your car.
Audience: (laughs and claps),
Man: (angrily) Hey!
Trevor: (driving off) You just been T-Jacked, bitch!
Audience: (cheers at this)
------------------------------------------------------------------...
Well... I'm TOTALLY gonna have too watch this show a few more times.. I now realize I was way too hard on this..
Frankly I was so caught up in the constant depressing shit it was hard too for me too see the comedy parts.
I am gonna have too watch this again.
Frankly, it's confirmed now.. Todd is my favourite character, basically the only character I like.. Mostly cause it's Aaron Paul, this guy is my new favourite actor.. He always was, but not I know that it's for certain..
But I'm guessing Todd isn't in the last two episodes, he got rather serious for one of the few times.. And it seems too be staying this time.. And it seems he finally had enough of todd.. The anger seemed out of nowhere.. Not GENERALLY out of nowhere.. But "mood swing" out of nowhere..
Oh well.. I have reasons too go back.. Todd..
Anyway.. We're finally finished with this show.. Only the last two left too go.. Lets see how it concludes, shall we?
Frankly I was so caught up in the constant depressing shit it was hard too for me too see the comedy parts.
I am gonna have too watch this again.
Frankly, it's confirmed now.. Todd is my favourite character, basically the only character I like.. Mostly cause it's Aaron Paul, this guy is my new favourite actor.. He always was, but not I know that it's for certain..
But I'm guessing Todd isn't in the last two episodes, he got rather serious for one of the few times.. And it seems too be staying this time.. And it seems he finally had enough of todd.. The anger seemed out of nowhere.. Not GENERALLY out of nowhere.. But "mood swing" out of nowhere..
Oh well.. I have reasons too go back.. Todd..
Anyway.. We're finally finished with this show.. Only the last two left too go.. Lets see how it concludes, shall we?
