CANADA RAP


(i did not write this)



Eh…h-hello there guys, my name is Matthew…

I…hey come on guys! It’s like I’m talking AT you

I’ve been neutral all these years, keeping my poise

BUT I THINK IT’S TIME I STARTED MAKING SOME NOISE

THE OTHER COUNTRIES CALL ME CANADA YO

AND MY BROTHER IS THAT IDIOT DOWN BELOW

SOMETIMES THEY CALL ME HIS HAT,

IF YOU ASK ME, I THINK HE’S FAT

THAT LAZY ASS PUNK BASTARD CAN’T KEEP PEACE TO SAVE HIS LIFE

SOMETIMES THEY CALL ME HIS WIFE,

THEM HATERS BE BEGGIN TO STRIFE

THIS MOTHER FUCKING AWESOME NATION DON’T WANNA BE STIRRING NO TROUBLE

IF YOU ASK FOR MY HELP I’LL CALL MY MOUNTIES ON THE DOUBLE

WHO’S THE BEST AT HOCKEY? WHO CAN LOOK GOOD IN PLAID?

MUTHA FUCKERS, WHY YOU MOPING? YOU HATERS SHOULD BE GLAD

THAT I RAISED MY VOICE TO BLESS YOU WITH THE JOYS OF MY RAP

SOMETIMES I BLEND INTO THE WALL

BUT I DON’T REALLY CARE AT ALL

SOMEDAY ALL THEM HATERS, THEY WILL RESPECT MY AUTHORITY

THEY WILL AGREE TO MAKE MY WILL A PRIORITY

SOMEDAY THEY’LL LISTEN TO ME

I’LL FUCKING POWN THEM, THEY’LL SEE

THAT DEMENTED SOVIET CREEP WILL THINK TO LOOK WHERE HE SITS

HE BETTER KNOW THAT I CAN SOMEDAY TEAR HIS ASS TO BITS

I’M A PART OF THE GREAT EIGHT

THEM HATERS BETTER APPRECHIATE

ALL THE GOOD MY MAPLE EMBLEM REPRESENTS IN THIS WORLD

MEET KUMAKICHI, HE’S CUTE!

WE BE SO CLOSE HATERS CAN’T EVEN COMPUTE

HE’S MY RIGHT H-

oh…you say your name is Kumajiro?

Well, how the hell should I…

I’M CAAANNNAAADDDAAAAA!!!

UGH….

ONE LAST THING BEFORE I GO

TIME TO TELL THAT MR. EYEBROWS ONE THING HE SHOULD KNOW

I AM NOT MY BROTHER, FUCKER

I AM NOT THAT IDIOT SUCKER

SURE, I LOOK LIKE HIM WITH A CURL

AND I MAY CATCH BALLS LIKE A GIRL

BUT REMEMBER MY NAME

YOU FUCKIN LIMEY, ALL THE SAME

MY NAME IS CANADA BITCHES, REMEMBER THAT WELL

OR FACE THE WRATH OF MY HOCKEY TEAM IN HELL

PEACE EH!