Buffy:(to Jonathon)"Nooo... I think you're up in the clocktower with a high-powered rifle because you wanna blend in."

Buffy: Aren't you going to introduce me to your... Holy God, you're Willow"

Giles: Let me get this straight: you think I'm evil if I take a group of teenage girls on a camping trip and I DON'T touch them?

Willow: Kiss rocks? Why would anyone want to kiss...oh, wait. I get it.

Willow: That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and...skanky. And I think I'm kind of gay.

Faith: All men are beasts, Buffy.
Buffy: Okay, I was hoping to not get that cynical 'til I was at least forty.
Faith: It's not cynical. I mean, it's realistic. Every guy from... Manimal down to Mr. I-Love-The-English-Patient has beast in him. And I don't care how sensitive they act. They're all still just in it for the chase.

Giles: I'm glad to see you've recovered from your psychic encounter more or less intact. Feel up to some training?
Buffy: Sure. We can work out after school. You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my mother! (Giles walks into a tree)(I just loved that part, I thought it was like the best scene out of the whole episode.)

Giles: Look, Spike - we have no intention of killing a harmless... uh, creature... we have to know what's been done to you. We can't let you go until we're sure that you're... impotent...
Spike: Hey!
Giles: Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we're sure you're, you're...
Buffy: Flaccid?
Spike: You are one step away, missy -
Buffy: [sarcastically] Giles, help! He's going to scold me.

Season 1 prophecy girl...buffy: i may be dead but i'm still pritty. Season 7 chosen....( angel jumps up after being knocked out by caleb) angel: alright now im pissed where is he? ( buffy looks at calebs remains right after cuting him in half) buffy: he had to split( bursts out laughing) im not sure what episode but its from season 5. (Anya xander and dawn are playing monopoly) anya: i have all these annoying children and more money than i can manage... xander: anya. That means your winning. Anya: oh goddy! Can i trade the children in for more money?

Check out this link, the video has similar humor as buffy! Gotta support funny people!

"You'll definitly beat her on the psych test. Just dont check the box that says 'I sometimes like to kill people'" -Willow (from Dopplegangland)

Here's the link-

Oh I read all of them! and there were good ones. OK then these are my favs
I was made to love you:
Joyce: How does the dress look?
Dawn: I like it.
Joyce: It doesn't make me look to mom-ish?
Dawn:...Oh that was why I liked it.
Buffy: you guys are both crazy. that dress screams 'Randy sex kitten buy me one drink and I'll....' Wait that's not good either.

Haha I love that

Another fav is
Cordleia: That's the craziest plan I've ever heard.
Oz:We attack the mayor with Humus.
Cordelia: i stand corrected.

my favorite... Spike said in 'Pangs' - "I'm too hungry to remember everything" ... and sometimes change it and used daily conversation such as "I'm too hungry to cook" especially after back from work and my hubby as me to cook

cant belive there arent more anay quips. 'people can so rarely be exchanged for goods and or services' also one of my favourite quotes is when they are eating food at the party and anya holds up a little shredded wheat type snack and talks about people making them, every one the same
'that's craftsmanship'

I have a file somewhere where I had been compiling favorite Buffy quotes, but it's on a CD somewhere. I would come in handy right about now! Some of my favorites have already been posted, but here's a few more:

Xander: "I'm twice the fool it takes to do something like this."

Xander: "Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with dead boy on this one."
Angel: "Would you not call me that?"

Faith: "New watcher?"
Buffy & Giles: "New watcher."
Faith: "Screw that."

Balthazar: "You know what I want?"
Giles: "If it's for me to scrub those hard to reach areas, I'd like to request you kill me now."

Willow: "On the other hand, maybe Rodney just stepped out for a smoke."
Xander: "For twenty-one hours??"

Willow: "He was just doing what was done to him."
Xander: "I didn't give him syphilis!"

Joyce: "Have we met?"
Spike: "You hit me with an axe one time, remember? 'Get the hell away from my daughter'?"

Giles: "You never train with me anymore. He's gonna kick your ass."
Buffy: "Giles!"

Giles: "You were right, all along, about everything.... Well, no, you weren't right about your mother coming back as a pekinese."

all i have 2 say is............. buffy rulz!!!!!!!!!!!!

Giles: you might have let m in on your plan while he throttled me.
Spike: Poor watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cup of tea, cup I tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea?

Willow: And there's no one in the world who has the power to stop me now
Giles: *walks in, and blasts Willow with magick, sending her flying* I'd like to test that theory.

Giles: Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time!

Jenny: Did anyone ever tell you you're kind of a fuddy duddy?
Giles: Nobody ever seems to tell me anything else.
Jenny: Did anyone ever tell you you're kind of a sexy fuddy duddy?
Giles: No, actually, that part usually gets left out. I can't imagine why.

Giles: Grave robbery? That's new. Interesting.
Buffy: I know you meant to say gross and disturbing.
Giles: Yes, yes, yes, of course. Terrible thing. Must put a stop to it. Damn it.

Giles: Whatever the authorities have planned for her, it can't be much worse than what she's doing to herself. She's taken a human life. The guilt it's it's - pretty hard to bear. It won't go away soon.
Cordelia: I guess you should know, since you helped raise that demon that killed that guy that time.
Giles: Yes, do let's bring that up as often as possible.

Buffy: Giles, there are two things that I don't believe in. Coincidence and leprechauns.
Giles: Buffy, it's entirely possible that they both arrived here by chance simultaneously.
Buffy: Okay, but, I was right about the leprechauns, right?
Giles: As far as I know.

Giles *to Xander and Willow at the dance*: We have to find Buffy. Something terrible has happened. Just kidding,
thought I'd give you a scare. Are those finger sandwiches?

Giles: You filthy little ponce, you afraid of a little demon?
Principal Snyder: You wanna splash around in the pooh, you're the filthy one!
Buffy: Everybody just stop it! Okay, listen to me! I need help. Okay, Giles, I need grownups. These children are
gonna die if we don't act now, okay, and think clearly. There is no room for mistakes. Besides which, you guys are
just wigging me out.

Giles: [drunk] What am I? I'm an unemployed librarian with a tendency to get knocked on the head.
Ethan Rayne: [suddenly sober] Well, you won't have to worry about that anymore, mate. When you went to the loo, I slipped a small pellet of poison in your drink, you'll be dead in an hour.
[Giles stares at him]
Ethan Rayne: Just kidding!
[they both laugh]
Giles: I'm gonna feel like hell in the morning.
Ethan Rayne: Relax. Enjoy the night. We're still a couple of sorcerers. The night is still our time.

Giles: Bay City Rollers. Now, that's music.
Buffy: I didn't hear that.

Buffy: Giles, share. What is the Mark of Eyghon?
Giles: Hey! This is not your battle. And as your Watcher, I'm telling you unequivocally to stay out of it!

Xander: I'll have you know I was just accosted by some kind of, um, locker monster.
Rupert Giles: Loch Ness Monster?
Buffy: /Locker/ monster is what he said.

Spike: Oh, you have got to be joking. What now?
Giles: It has to access the cerebral cortex via the optic nerve.
Spike: Oh, bollocks. All the rubbish people keep sticking in my head, it's a wonder there's any room for my brain.
Giles: I don't think it takes up that much space, do you?

Faith: *trying to convince Giles she's really Buffy in Faith's body* Giles, you turned into a demon, and I knew it was you. I mean, can't you just look in my eyes and be all intuitive?
Giles: How did I turn into a demon?
Faith: [as Buffy] Oh, 'cause, uh, Ethan Rayne. And-and you have a girlfriend named Olivia... and you haven't had a job since we blew up the school... which is valid lifestyle-wise. I mean, it's not like you're a slacker type, but - Oh, oh! When I had psychic power I heard my mom think that you were like a stevedore during sex. W- Do you want me to continue?
Giles: Actually, I beg you to stop.
Faith: What's a stevedore?

[attempting to cause a distraction]
Giles: Damn it, man, we /have/ to get inside! Our, um, uh... Our families are-are-are in there. Our, uh, mothers and-and, tiny, /tiny/ babies.

Rupert Giles: I'm not supposed to have a private life?
Buffy: No. Because you're very, very old and it's gross.

(After Giles is impaled, and is treated at the hospital)
Xander: How you doin'?
Rupert Giles: It only hurts when I answer pointless questions.

(Dawn, Anya, Xander and Andrew tackle Giles, thinking he's the first)Giles: Gah!
Xander: Touch him! Touch him!
Dawn: Oh, I feel him! I feel him!
Xander: Me too!
Andrew: Me too!
Giles: Good. We all feel each other. Including some of us who don't know each other well enough to take such liberties, thank you. Um, I assume there is a perfectly reasonable and not at all insane explanation, yes?
Anya: We thought you might be non-corporeal evil.
Dawn: We got a call. We couldn't remember you touching anything.
Xander: We had to make sure you were okay. We were worried.
Giles: Oh. Ah. Yes, well, that's very sweet. Now, wait a minute, you thought - you think I'm evil if I bring a group of girls on a camping trip and /don't/ touch them?

Giles: What ever happened to Latin? At least when that made no sense, the church approved.

Giles: Testosterone is a great equalizer. It turns all men into morons.

Giles: (To Buffy) That was hardly the worst mistake you'll ever make... That wasn't quite as comforting as it was meant to be.

Giles it's the end of the world Willow & Xander: Buffy: We saved the world. I say we have to party. Xander I laugh in the face of danger then I hid until it goes away
Xander: If anyone sees my spine lying about, just try not to step on it.
Willow: We can't run, that would be wrong. Could we hide?

Spike"It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big."

Here r 2 o my favorites
Drusilla: I'm naming all the stars
Spike: you can't c the stars love. That's a celling. Also it's day
My favorite of all
Buffy: what r u doing here spike. 5 words or less
Spike: out for a walk... Bitch

Last but not least
Spike: a bear u made a bear
Buffy: I didn't mean to
Spike: turn it back turn it back

I think Willow and Anya have some of the best dialogue like

ANYA-*something about being scared willow will steal xander*
WILLOW-No I wouldn't!
ANYA-Well why not?
WILOW- Uh hello, gay now!

Or,

WILLOW-This is'nt about his physical prescense. It's about his heart!
ANYA-His physical prescence has a PENIS!

Also, I love Buffy and Amy's reaction tto seeing eachother after 3 years,

BUFFY- Oh, hey Amy. How've yo been?
AMY- Rat, you?
BUFFY-Dead.
AMY-Oh.

AND, I love Willow to Amy,

WILLOW-First, Larry's gay. Second, Larry's dead. And third, high school's kinda over.

Principal Snyder : Where are you from, Harris?
Xander : Well, the basement, mostly.
Principal Snyder : Were you born there?
Xander : Possibly.
...

One of my favorite Xander episodes is season 5 episode 1 I'm tierd of being everyones butt monkey

Spike: you made a bear
Buffy: I didn't mean to
Spike: undo it undo it

Spike: it's a big rock I can't wait to tell my friends they don't have a rock this big :b

i'm from the country of leone! its in italy,pretending to be montana!- xander in inc mummy girl!

in the last episode of season 4 when buffy, willow, xander and giles are all dreaming the same dream,
the cheese man says to giles: "i wear cheese, it doesn't wear me"

also in the same episode spike and giles are swinging on the swing and spike says to xander " giles is teaching me to be a watcher, he says i got the stuff"

plus i liked the buffybot's quotes in regards to spike. such as "devour me spike"

"her abuse of the english language is such that I understand only every other sentence..."-Wesly Wyndam-Price (quoting Giles)on Buffy, "bad Girls"

Willow-"Well the slayer always says a pun or a witty play on words, and I think it throws vampires off!" episode Anne

Buffy: "Faith, this is Giles."
Faith: "I seen him. If I'd a known they came this young and cute I'd've requested a transfer."
Buffy: "Okay, raise your hand if' 'ew"-"Faith, Hope & Trick"

Wow, loved reading through all these! I realize it's been over a year (other than Buffyslover84) but this is the feed I like the best, and I did notice a couple good ones that were missed in the last 7 years haha

Ssn 4: Where the Wild Things Are
Old lady: "I refuse to listen to this while I can smell the sin on each and every one of you!"
Xander: "Oh yeah? You smell sin? Well let me tell you something lady, She who smelt it dealt it!"

Early ep when Buffy goes to the hospital :
Cordelia: "Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass.

Then even earlier! 1st ssn probably : Giles (when he's still uber-librarian) "Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare"

Ssn 4 : The Yoko Factor
Willow "Crack a government encryption code on my laptop? Easy as incredibly difficult pie"
Spike "You're not exactly the wiz lately either. Gah! I'm never gonna get paid"
Willow "I am a wiz!"
Tera "She is a wiz!"
Willow (grumbling) "...ever a wiz there was" (with her sooo cute pouty-face)

Same ep, Angel shows up & gets in a fight with Riley. When Buffy finds out he says "It was an accident!"
Buffy "Running your car into a tree is an accident, running your fist into somebody's face is a plan"

Spike "Don't tell me, you never heard of the beatles?
Adam "I have. I like Helter Skelter".

Restless
Willow "I'm very seldom naughty"

My favorite quote would probably be this one from the Season 3 episode Earshot:

Male Student: (thinking) Wait ‘til I’m a software jillionaire and you’re all flipping burgers. Who’s the loser then?

I also like this one:

Buffy: (to Jonathan) My life happens on occasion to suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle. And it’s not just mine. Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they’re too busy with their own. The beautiful ones. The popular ones. The guys that pick on you. Everyone. If you could hear what they were feeling. The loneliness. The confusion. It looks quiet down there. It’s not. It’s deafening.