Balto Club
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posted by UriahA
I don’t have ideas.

Balto went to Star’s mansion in Heaven.
“Hey, Star!”
“Hey, Balto.”
Star was drumming.
“What’s goin’ on?”
“Not much.”
God came in.
“Hey, God.” Balto and Kaltag said in unison.
“Hey, you two. Balto, you’re going back to Earth.”
“Oh, ok.”
“Star, you’re staying here.”
“Sweet!”
“Balto, come with me.”
“Ok.”
God led Balto to a teleporter.
“This will teleport you back to your body.”
“Wait, I thought it was burnt.”
God sent something to Earth.
“Not any more.”
“Ok, see you when I die again!”
“Alright.”
God teleported Balto back to Earth. Balto’s Casket was about to close, when Balto jumped out.
“Balto!”
“He’s alive!”
“That is the awesomest, the coolest, the sickest…”
“Sweet!” Nikki interrupted.
“Oh right, Star isn’t here. Where is Star?”
“I’m not sure if he’s coming back.”
“Aww!”
Kaltag got teary eyed.
“I’m coming Star!”
He turned on the electric chair, put a wet sponge on his head, then sat. He didn’t get electrocuted. A cop turned it off.
“Kaltag, you’re not going to die.”
It was Ralph.
“I didn’t know you were a cop.”
“Yeah, I was undercover for four years.”
“So you became undercover when you got Star?”
“Yup.”
“Sweet.”
Kaltag got in his new GTO, and went home. He parked it in the garage, then got in the house. He saw a temporary sign in front of him that said, “Meet Balto at the docs, blah, blah, : ).”
“Well fuck that, I’ll get in the cab.”
Kaltag pulled out the taxi driver.
“What? No, I don’t want to jack him, God damn it!”
There was a passenger in the back who was freaking out. He jumped out, but got nailed by a truck going the other direction. Kaltag hit a car that was stopped at the light, which made him fly out of the taxi, and hit a wall.
“Fucking piece of shit wall!”
Kaltag got up and walked 10 feet backwards.
“Hey look, a flying rat. (Pigeon.) Well you’ve been a shit on my ass for too long.”
Kaltag shot it with a shotgun. A bullet flew passed him.
“What the Fuck!”    
“Get down on the ground sir!” a cop yelled.
“Hahaha, you’ll never get me, I have cheats!”
“Quick, shoot the noob!”
A guy in the alleyway got a head shot. Kaltag had Star’s cheat phone, and was looking for the helicopter cheat. One of the many bullets that passed hit Kaltag, forcing him to drop the phone.
“Fucking hell!”
Kaltag got the helicopter ordered. He got in and took off.
“Now they’ll never catch me!”
Kaltag’s phone rang. It was Nikki.
“Friend, let us go bowling dere!”
“For the last time Nikki, I do not want to go fucking bowling!”
“Ok, maybe some other time dere.”
Kaltag kept flying.
“AHHHH!”
Kaltag hit a building, making the tail come right off the helicopter.
“Shit, mayday, mayday!”
Kaltag jumped out of the helicopter. The propeller swatted him, and slammed him into the water, but surprisingly, he was alive!
“AHHHH! Hey, I’m alive!”
Kaltag looked behind him to see Nome really far away.
“Argh, God damn it!”
Kaltag got to the shore.
“Meet Balto at the docs, my ass. Just get me a fucking bike, so I can go home, ok.”
Kaltag looked around to find the bike stuck in the air.
“A lot of fucking good you are to me up there! You piece of shit!”
Kaltag threw a grenade at the bike, making the bike come down. But unfortunately, so did the grenade, which would burst any second.
“Shit!”
The explosion threw him into a car, nuts first. He fell to the ground.
“My fucking balls!”
There was a hotdog stand. One hotdog could totally restore his health.
“Hotdog guy please I need a…”
He got clipped by a car. A cop came out of the old 70’s Cadillac.
“Now’s my queue, to come from nowhere, with shotgun, and blow the fuck out of you!”
Kaltag was blown away, being killed. About 6 hours later, he was discharged from the hospital. He called Nikki.
“Nikki, could you pick me up at the hospital?”
“Sure, I will be’s dere in the next hour, dere.”
“Thanks.”
About 15 minutes later, Nikki came in.
“Hey, dere.”
“Hey, Nikki. Thanks for picking me up.”
“No problem.”
About 20 minutes later, Nikki dropped off Kaltag.
“Man, you are the man, man!”
“Thank youse.”
“Thank you!”
“Piece out, dere!”
“Bye.”
Kaltag got in the house.
“Kaltag! Where were you? Oh, I love you!”
“You really want to know what happened?”
“Yes!”
Kaltag explained everything.
“Wait so you lost the cops, and you weren’t even on a wanted level, but a cop shot you with his shotgun?”
“Yes.”
“Damn cops!”
“Yee. Oh, speaking of cops, Ralph is a cop!”
“I know.”
“So you’ve known all these years?”
“Yeah, him and I had been really good friends a few years ago. We even bought you and Star from the same litter.”
“So you’ve known we were brothers this whole time!?”
“Yes.”
“Why haven’t you told me?”
“Ralph and I had an agreement. We wouldn’t tell you two if you two hated each other. Back before you two got along, you would nail Star so much. In fact, that’s how Ralph and I stopped being friends. You had one good nail, that sent Star to the emergency room, Ralph hated me, it all happened. This was all actually before Balto became famous.”
“Damn.”
Kaltag was feeling sorry for Ralph and Tony. It was him that caused the two to hate each other. He was also feeling sorry for Star. He hated Star so much. And that one good hit gave Star some brain damage. He went up to his bed and laid down.
A few hours later, Nikki jumped on him.
“Dude, I got Rock Band 2 dere!”
“Nice!”
Tony and Nikki’s owner, Peter, were talking.
Nikki and Kaltag texted the other dogs.
Kaltag: Dude, Nikki got Rock Band 2!
Balto: Shit, man, I’d love to play but I can’t. Tell Nikki I said congrats.
Kaltag: Ok I will.
Balto: Sweet.
Nikki: Dude I got Rock Band 2 dere!”
Steele: Nice. Can I play?
Nikki: Sure.
Steele: Thanks man! That’s how we roll!
Nikki: What?
Steele: It’s something Brucie says.
Nikki: Oh.
Kaltag: Hey, Girl! Nikki got Rock Band 2!
Jenna: Nice, Can I play?
Kaltag: I’ll ask Nikki. I’ll see if we can form a band
Jenna: Cool.
“Hey, Nikki, could we form a band?”
“Sure.”
“By the way, Steele and Jenna want to play.”
“Ok.”
“Wait, we have to see if Dixie wants to play.”
Kaltag: Hey, Dixie, do you want to play Rock Band 2?
Dixie: I can’t, Star’s death is killing me.
Kaltag: Ok, maybe when you’re feeling better.
Dixie: Probably
That evening, when it got dark, they formed a band. Steele, guitar; Kaltag, drums; Jenna, bass; Nikki, sing. Nikki was singing Carry on Wayward Son.
“Carry’s on my wayward son dere, there will be’s peace youse are done. Lay you weary head to rest, don’t youse cr…”
Nikki fell to the ground.
“Nikki!” Kaltag yelled.
“We got to get him to a doctor!” Jenna said.
“Fuck the doctor, we’ll take care of him our selves. Steele, bring him in the kitchen.”
Steele came in struggling with Nikki. He was walking side to side, hitting Nikki’s head, then his butt. When Steele got to the counter, he dropped Nikki. Nikki fell off of the counter, and onto the floor. Kaltag put cooking timer on Nikki that said 2 minutes. Two minutes later, Nikki made a jump.
“Ehh, we wasted 2 minutes of our life!” Steele said.
“Oh, wait 2 more.”
Two minutes later Nikki got up and made out with Kaltag.
“Likkli len dil lyou beclome glay?”
“Was that your plan?” Jenna asked without helping Kaltag.
“I think we should help him.”
“Wait, this is funny to see.”
“Yeah, it is.”
They watched that.
“Slomelone help mle!”
“Alright, it’s time we should.”
Steele and Jenna pulled Nikki off Kaltag.
“I’m good, hopefully I’m not considered gay.”
Kaltag hit Nikki like he used to hit Star.
“Oww, why did youse do that dere?”
“You tongue kissed me!”
“Why would I do’s that?”
“I don’t know, you just did.”
“Oh, sorry.”
Kaltag remembered Star’s death, then ran home crying.
“Kaltag, I’m sorry I tongue kissed youse, I didn’t even know’s what happened dere, I was sleep kissing dere. I didn’t know’s that was anything to cry over.”
“It’s not that! It’s Star’s death! Now leave me alone!”
“Alright, no’s need to yell dere.”
Kaltag stopped walking, looked behind him, and made one sudden move. He ran and pinned Nikki against a wall, using only one hand.
“I don’t need any shit! You understand me!?”
“Yes.”
Kaltag dropped Nikki to the ground, and continued to walk home crying. When he got home, he laid down on his bed. Just then Kaltag felt a bullet go through his head.
“Oww! Who did that!?”
Kaltag felt blood rapidly coming out of his head.
“It’s just a little bit of blood. Speaking of blood, where’s Tony?”
Kaltag went downstairs, then came up with a bowl. The bowl would catch the blood coming out. The sniper named Stereotypage, saw Kaltag wasn’t dead. He shot Kaltag 2 more times.
“OWW! Who keeps doing that!?”
Kaltag was bleeding so much, he had to sleep outside, so he wouldn’t flood the house with blood. Stereotypage shot Kaltag 3 more times. Kaltag still didn’t die. Five more shots later, Kaltag was incapacitated. Finally, Kaltag was out of his misery, and bled out.
Description of Stereotypage: Tall black guy, 150 pounds, giant nose, large dark glasses covering his eyes, with a weird hairdo, and about 30 years old.
Kaltag got to the gates of Heaven. No one was there, so he rang the bell. Just then, God came.
“Hi, God!”
“Hey, Kaltag. Sorry for the delay, I’m working on 5 people to come up to Heaven. I also have to listen to countless churches worship me.”
“It’s good.”
“Want me to lead you to your house?”
“Sure.”
“Oh, oops, sorry, you’re going to have to guide yourself, 3 people came up.”
“Ok.”
Kaltag found his house and got in.
“Whoo, what a day.”
Kaltag laid down in his bed.
“Hey, wait a minute, I’m not tired.”
Kaltag got to his home GPS map.
“Where’s Star?”
The GPS was voice activated.
“Star is at 323 Somerville Boulevard.”
“Thanks.”
Kaltag tried to pull out his cheat phone.
“Where is it?”
Just then a fighter jet appeared right above him.
“Whoa, I could just request it? I love Heaven! I love God, I love Jesus! Heaven is paradise! Who could of known that being good on Earth, believing in God, knowing Jesus died for our souls, could end you up in a place like this!?”
Kaltag got in the jet, and went to Star’s house. Once he was above Star house, the jet disappeared, Kaltag fell from 10,000 feet, and landed without taking damage. In fact, it made him stronger. Star was sitting on the couch reading a book when he heard Kaltag ring the doorbell. Star didn’t know it was Kaltag.
“Who’s that? If I’m not expecting anybody, it’s God.”
When Star opened the door, he saw Kaltag. He was speechless.
“Hey, brother!”
“Kaltag…”
“Star!”
They stood there for a minute or two. Then, out of nowhere, they hugged each other as tightly as they could.
“Kaltag, I love you!”
“I love you too, Star!”
“Hey, how did you die?”
They were still coupled.
“I was sniped, blood came pouring out, then, I was shot two more times, didn’t die, shot 5 more times, I was incapacitated, then bled out.”
“Oh, you must have suffered!”
“A little bit.”
About two minutes later, Star and Kaltag uncoupled. Meanwhile, Tony came home. It was about 1:30 A.M.
“Kaltag, I’m home!”
Tony was wondering where Kaltag was.
Tony went to Kaltag’s room. He saw blood all over.
“Oh, shit!”
Tony was scared to death. He was scared that someone would come in and attack him, but he was more scared about what happened to Kaltag. Was he really scared during the moment? Was it one of those deaths that you were scared to hell about? Tony was so scared. In fact, the house had a power outage, and a thunderstorm just closed in. A strong scary one. Did Kaltag just die during this scary moment? Tony asked in his head. A large lightning bolt flew across the sky. At the same time Stereotypage was still there, and he shot the sniper, just missing him by a good inch.
Tony ran as fast as he could to the emergency gun box. It had an Assault Rifle in it. He forgot how heavy it was. Plus, he was so scared, and trembling so much, he dropped the gun, and it fell all the way down the stairs. Tony tripped down the stairs, and landed right next to the gun. This Assault Rifle not only can kill someone in 4 shots, it also is long range.
Tony got up, grabbed the gun, and put an attachable light on it. He set out to kill the killers and look for Kaltag. Right outside, Tony found Kaltag’s dead body, and dropped to it.
“FREEZE! POLICE! DROP THE WEAPON! NOW!!!”
“Officer, I didn’t do this!”
“Stop making excuses. We all know you’re a killer. Now do you want to be killed right here? Or do you want to come with us to the police station?”
“Police station. Things will make more sense.”
“Then drop the gun, and let us cuff you.”
Tony put the gun on the ground, and was cuffed. The cops also took the gun.
“You’re under arrest for the murder of Kaltag, anything you say can and will be held against you in court!”
“I didn’t do it!”
“Yeah right.”
The cops took Tony to the police station.
“We found the guy that killed Kaltag!”
“I don’t think Tony would have killed Kaltag. Kaltag means the world to him,” the chief said.
“Oh, you think?”
“Dude, Tony and I used to be best friends.”
“I’m scared, Ralph. I don’t want to go back to my house!”
“Dude, you can stay with me. I could use some company, now that Star’s gone.
“Thanks man.”
“Let him go at once!”
“Yes, sir.”
Just then, a large alien came in called a Brute.
“Damn it! Another Brute!”
They fought it off.
About 30 minutes later, Ralph and Tony got in a taxi.
“Ok, where to?”
“Take us to Luckey Drive.”
“Hey, ok, yes problem.”
“Really?”
“No.”
The taxi driver with the weird accent took them to Ralph’s house.
“Here we are, tip please.”
Ralph and Tony got in the house, and went to sleep. Tony was sleeping on the couch right in front of the TV.
Meanwhile, in Heaven, Star and Kaltag were watching TV. Kaltag and Star were laying down. Star was laying on top of Kaltag really relaxed. Kaltag was actually enjoying the weight on him. Star and Kaltag were in Heaven, literally. Poor Tony was going through a nightmare.


I still don’t have idea’s but I’ll keep writin
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Source: look at that closly
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Source: Original frame made by xbox_ds_gameboy-d6kznot, the redo by me, ElbonNoble
Here’s one of my reaction videos that i have react to one of these YTP of Balto!
video
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Source: LEPRI @ DeviantArt
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