“Alright everybody. Welcome to the Teamwork Ropes Course,” The counselor said to the silent Akatsuki, “Your leader Pain has decided to try and assess your ability as a team.”

Hidan started to walk away. “I’m not going to do this s***.”

Pain used Bansho Tensei to pull Hidan’s freshly stitched head off of his body and into his hand. Pain turned Hidan’s head to him and said, “I would like to remind you that if you don’t do it you will be fired, homeless, and made an enemy of Akatsuki.”

Hidan cursed under his breath as Kakuzu reattached Hidan’s head to his body.

The counselor then passed out pieces of paper and pencils and started to explain the first task, “I want everyone to write down exactly what they are thinking. I will draw your responses randomly from a hat and you have to try and pick out which one is your partner. This will test how well you know your partner.”

The counselor gathered the papers and began to draw them. “I’ll read the first card,” he said, “It says ‘I’m feeling hungry. Do they serve salmon here?’ ”

“That was my partner Kisame,” Itachi said.

“Good,” the counselor said, “Here is the next one. ‘I wonder if I can blow this place up when we are done un’.”

Sasori looked at Deidara and said, “You actually wrote down the ‘un’ part?”

“So what? That is how I think un,” Deidara said.

“Alright then,” the counselor said trying to stay on track, “The next note doesn’t say anything. The person just folded it to look like a flower.”

Pain smiled and looked at Konan, “I know who that was.”

Konan blushed as the counselor went on. “This note says ‘None of you have sufficient hatred to comprehend the dark depth of my thoughts’,” said the counselor uncomfortably.

Kisame raised his hand and said, “That sounds like Itachi.”

“Good,” the counselor continued, “The next one says ‘I can’t believe we are paying for this’.”

Hidan smirked as he looked at Kakuzu and said, “That was definitely this cheap old bastard.”

Kakuzu tightened the stitches on Hidan’s neck harder to purposely hurt him. The counselor then read the next paper and said, “This one says ‘Konan looks cute with that flower she is making’.”

Konan smiled at Pain and said, “You are so sweet.”

The counselor then grabbed the next piece of paper. “The next one says,” the counselor paused for a moment and said, “I’d rather not say this one because of the excessive profanity.”
Pain glared at Hidan as Kakuzu choked him a little more with the stitches. “It was this one,” Kakuzu said.

The counselor read the final note, “ ‘I think the counselor would make a nice addition to my puppet collection’.” The counselor looked up nervously as he saw Deidara pointing at Sasori. The counselor made a mental note not to be alone with Sasori.

“Well it seems you are very familiar with each other’s… unique personalities,” said the counselor, “So let’s try a trust exercise in which one person will fall back off a platform and the other catches them.”

The first up was Konan and Pain. Konan fell effortlessly into Pain’s arms.

Next up was Hidan and Kakuzu. Hidan shouted from the platform, “You better not let me fall you ragdoll a**wipe.”

“I promise,” Kakuzu said, “Cross my five hearts and hope to not find replacements in time.”

Hidan fell and Kakuzu launched his arm up to get him. He grabbed Hidan’s leg and flung him into a tree.

Hidan shouted as he got to his feet, “What the f*** was that?”

Kakuzu replied, “I said I wouldn’t let you fall. I didn’t say anything about not throwing you.”

Hidan pulled out his scythe and rushed at Kakuzu as he hardened his arms. The counselor came in between and yelled, “Stop! You both need to take a time out in the hugging circle.”
The counselor pointed at the circle.

Kakuzu and Hidan looked at Pain, who glared intensely at them. They got into the circle as the counselor told them to hug out their aggression. Kakuzu proceeded to hug Hidan with his hardened arm in an attempt to crush his spine. Hidan pulled out a retractable spear and tried to stab Kakuzu repeatedly saying, “I’m so putting a curse on you!”

Meanwhile Itachi got on the platform and fell. Kisame was about to catch him when Itachi appeared to transform into a group of crows and reformed beside Kisame.

Deidara then climbed onto the platform. He then fell back off the platform. Sasori sent one of his puppets up to Deidara and stabbed him with a blade hidden in one of the puppets arms.

The counselor looked horrified as he said, “Oh my god. No one ever died in this course before!”

Deidara suddenly lost all his color, wrapped himself around the puppet, and exploded. “Just as I thought,” Sasori said, “He sent a clay clone off the platform instead of himself.”

Deidara then flew down from the platform on one of his clay birds.

“Well,” the counselor said, “My final analysis is that you people are all insane. It is probably better off if you don’t trust each other since you are all psychopaths.”

Suddenly they heard a series of loud explosions and turn around to see the course totally destroyed. Deidara smiled and claimed, “I figured we all got sick of this so decided to end the course a little early un.”

Every Akatsuki member applauded except for Pain. The counselor ran to Pain. “Your members completely destroyed my course,” the counselor yelled, “I demand compensation!”

“Sure,” Pain said, “Why don’t you have dinner with our lawyer to work on a settlement. His name is Zetsu.”

The other members smiled maliciously as the unaware counselor agreed to have "dinner" with the “lawyer”.