*sighs* So..lately, I'm starting to think or maybe realize that I am bisexual; I'm attracted by both boys and girls.
After thinking about it, there have been signs of this since I was at a young age, like around five years of age, but I never put these clues together until now....
Well...like I said, it all started at five. For some strange reason, a lot of the little kids in my kindergarten class already started having crushes on one another. There were little girls telling each other so-and-so likes you and giggling about it, and there were boys who basically did the same thing. I can even remember a girl and a boy calling them boyfriend and girlfriend already. *sighs* And then there was me. I never felt anything like a crush towards a boy. If a boy ended up liking me, I'd pretend to like him back, but I really wasn't interested in him (I didn't want to be the only girl who didn't have a boyfriend, you know..kid-stuff).
I guess that's not a really good reason, considering five-year-olds are maybe too young to feel things like that.
But the thing that struck me was that I never had a crush on a boy until I was ten and in the fourth grade. I liked this one very gorgeous guy who I was friends with, and I mean liked. But, it didn't last (I don't really want to get into what happened...).
But around that same time, I also liked an actress, Emily Browning. I always thought she was so beautiful and really liked her. I seemed like an ordinary fan of an actress. But even though I was only ten, I began to realize that I perhaps didn't just like Emily. I may have had a small crush on her.
I stopped liking her after I met my friend who I liked.
Well, after my two crushes I basically lived on without having any..special interest in someone. But I definitely may have experienced more signs from ages eleven to almost fourteen.
I did notice that some boys I knew were very gorgeous, and almost got to the point where I liked them. But at the same time, I noticed the attractiveness of some girls as well, I basically saw what maybe a boy would see; if she had great breasts, great butts, if she had a cute face or smile...well, you know what I mean.
I now (I'm in the ninth grade) think I'm starting to form a crush on a girl right now, if I hadn't so already. I think she's very beautiful and...strangely, I wish I could give her a hug (just a hug, though).
*sighs* I'm really confused. I definitely become attracted by boys and girls, but boys a little bit more. It may be something else, I'm not really sure. But...well, I just don't know...
But knowing whehter I'm bisexual or not isn't my only problem.
I fully accept homosexual people and I actually really like things about them; how confident they are, how generous and sweet they can be, and their senses of humor. :)
But...I don't know how to say this without offending someone..but when I picture myself as homosexual or bisexual, it just...it scares me. No not scare, it just really worries me.
I wouldn't know how to handle a discovery that big about myself, and with the people in my life right now, my being bisexual would just make things a hell lot worse with them, too. :(
But right now, I just want to focus on whether I am bisexual or not bisexual.
Please, if anyone knows what I'm experiencing and can explain things to me, please comment. :(
After thinking about it, there have been signs of this since I was at a young age, like around five years of age, but I never put these clues together until now....
Well...like I said, it all started at five. For some strange reason, a lot of the little kids in my kindergarten class already started having crushes on one another. There were little girls telling each other so-and-so likes you and giggling about it, and there were boys who basically did the same thing. I can even remember a girl and a boy calling them boyfriend and girlfriend already. *sighs* And then there was me. I never felt anything like a crush towards a boy. If a boy ended up liking me, I'd pretend to like him back, but I really wasn't interested in him (I didn't want to be the only girl who didn't have a boyfriend, you know..kid-stuff).
I guess that's not a really good reason, considering five-year-olds are maybe too young to feel things like that.
But the thing that struck me was that I never had a crush on a boy until I was ten and in the fourth grade. I liked this one very gorgeous guy who I was friends with, and I mean liked. But, it didn't last (I don't really want to get into what happened...).
But around that same time, I also liked an actress, Emily Browning. I always thought she was so beautiful and really liked her. I seemed like an ordinary fan of an actress. But even though I was only ten, I began to realize that I perhaps didn't just like Emily. I may have had a small crush on her.
I stopped liking her after I met my friend who I liked.
Well, after my two crushes I basically lived on without having any..special interest in someone. But I definitely may have experienced more signs from ages eleven to almost fourteen.
I did notice that some boys I knew were very gorgeous, and almost got to the point where I liked them. But at the same time, I noticed the attractiveness of some girls as well, I basically saw what maybe a boy would see; if she had great breasts, great butts, if she had a cute face or smile...well, you know what I mean.
I now (I'm in the ninth grade) think I'm starting to form a crush on a girl right now, if I hadn't so already. I think she's very beautiful and...strangely, I wish I could give her a hug (just a hug, though).
*sighs* I'm really confused. I definitely become attracted by boys and girls, but boys a little bit more. It may be something else, I'm not really sure. But...well, I just don't know...
But knowing whehter I'm bisexual or not isn't my only problem.
I fully accept homosexual people and I actually really like things about them; how confident they are, how generous and sweet they can be, and their senses of humor. :)
But...I don't know how to say this without offending someone..but when I picture myself as homosexual or bisexual, it just...it scares me. No not scare, it just really worries me.
I wouldn't know how to handle a discovery that big about myself, and with the people in my life right now, my being bisexual would just make things a hell lot worse with them, too. :(
But right now, I just want to focus on whether I am bisexual or not bisexual.
Please, if anyone knows what I'm experiencing and can explain things to me, please comment. :(
Just a moment in this lifetime,
Just a tragedy ahead.
Not knowing where each turn will lead,
Within seconds we might be dead.
Live each day to the fullest,
Do not stop to wonder why.
Do everything your heart deisres,
In dreams, rech for the sky.
Surprises at every stop sign,
With its share of wrong ways and dead-ends.
Statistics dont help you with the future,
They only tell you where you've been.
With so many people amoung us,
There are no certainties.
And all it takes is just one person,
To reroute history.
Don't waste one single moment,
How very precious that they are.
What seems a long way off,
Is really not that far.
Teal Henderson.
Just a tragedy ahead.
Not knowing where each turn will lead,
Within seconds we might be dead.
Live each day to the fullest,
Do not stop to wonder why.
Do everything your heart deisres,
In dreams, rech for the sky.
Surprises at every stop sign,
With its share of wrong ways and dead-ends.
Statistics dont help you with the future,
They only tell you where you've been.
With so many people amoung us,
There are no certainties.
And all it takes is just one person,
To reroute history.
Don't waste one single moment,
How very precious that they are.
What seems a long way off,
Is really not that far.
Teal Henderson.
