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Fast help needed about a situation at home:Ok I have this bit of a problem- its one that needs sorting soon:

I'm 17, and Over the summer i gave up an hour of all my evenings for a month, because my moms friend who lives down the road asked me to do a job for her while she was away on holiday 3000 miles away. I agreed because i like going to see her cat & to help her cos she's nice, and also i needed the money for college. every evening i watered her huge beautiful garden, sorted out her flowers, fed & brushed her maine coon cat & checked everything was ok. my mom & dad did the mornings cos i had to go summer school. they also took her rubbish out, mowed the lawn once and once fixed a broken statue.

anyways, it was fun but hard work and when my moms friend returned home, she came round to chat to me and thank me. she gave me $50- the same as last year when i did it, BUT she also got me two hollister tops, got my mom some flowers and my dad chocolates.
Thing is as soon as she left, my mom now thinks this is too much to give us, and wants to give my money back to her friend. i said i noticed how she doesnt mind giving back my money but i dont see her giving back her flowers, but i added that i guess she could take my money if she wants (i didnt want her to get mad) but i was quite disappointed really cos every day of my summer after a year of school, nightschool and NOW summer school i had to walk to the house, water the entire garden, check all the flowers, feed the cat, play with him so he wasnt bored, brush his long fur, lock everything back up, when i was totally exhausted and meant to be having fun with my friends.. and COLLEGE on top of everything else starts in a week or two.
The REALLY annoying thing is that my mom is always telling me i should get a job, and my dad is boasting about how he had a job when he was 14, and how lazy i am for not getting one- and when i finally get one because i want a job, she wants to take the money i earned away from me!

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The thing i need advice on is my mom is saying i have to choose now whether i will let her put the money in a thank you card to her friend for the presents, or just keep it, and obviously i need it for college and besides that i earned it! but, i know that if i choose to keep it she will make me feel ba dabout it, and she's trying emotional blackmail to get me to let her put my money in the card, saying her friend is a skint single mom and i should be ashamed for accepting it.. but her friend has a beautiful house, enormous immaculate garden, pedigree cat and her two 19 yr old sons have every gadget going, so as much as a nice lady she is, i know she isnt skint. but i am. and i'm also in a dilemma, what should i do? please help?
Goldilottes posted over a year ago
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i have to either: Give the money back so that my mom isnt ashamed of me- and then its just like i never got a job in the first place AND risk not getting hired again because my moms friend will think i dont need it, OR keep the money i exhausted myself for need for college and not look weird by giving the money back to the lady. what would you do in my position? please help because my mom is sending the card soon, like today, or tomorrow if i can hold it off- and wants to know whether i will let her put my money in it. please help she's writing the card now
Goldilottes posted over a year ago
 Goldilottes posted over a year ago
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Advice Answers

Chaann94 said:
Well I think you should keep the money. I mean, you've been doing all that for a month, at first for nothing so she gave it to you as a present. Which is rude to return. If your mom feels uncomfortable and feels like it's too much, she could do something else like buying her dinner or something.

But in my opinion and experience, returning the given money is kinda rude. At least, my mom once gave money to my cousin and my cousin thought it was too much and gave a part of it back. My mom thought that was rude 'cos it's a present, so you take it.

Sorry for the late reply but I hope I helped anyways.
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posted over a year ago 
BabyBlud said:
I think you should stand your ground and refuse. Like you say you earned that money, you wasted your spare time to earn it and you worked hard. To stop your mother being displeased why not split the money, give half back and keep half? That way you have at least some money and your mother gets what she wants.
But i'd sit her down and explain that you earned this money, you want it for college, to be independent there. Explain to her that both your mother and father keep getting on at you for not having a job and as soon as you get one they try and force you out of it. Explain that you are confused as to why you think your mothers friend is poor as she seems to be financially stable, that you are confused as to why your parents have changed their minds and their principles.
Your mother should never have asked you for the money in the first place, it is yours. You earned it. Is she going to tell you to send your first paycheque back to your boss when you actually have a 9-5 job? No she's not, so i don't see why she should expect you to do so now.
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posted over a year ago 
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Ok thanks so much you've really helped :) but the sittting down and talking to her part is going to be really hard.. especially since i know what she'll do if i keep the money- she'll put her own money in it when i'm not looking and pretend she didn't. but still- thanks for the detailed answer, i'll definitely take your advice :) xx
Goldilottes posted over a year ago
writer67 said:
you earnt the money fairly and honestly, she would have given more but she knows of your mum. well you do have a job, its casual and on call, for the neibour , but how much you earn is private. you could be studying to make ways to start a franchise, of employing someone, and making commision from them. out of the work you did , who would do all that for a fifty. but others got paid, with flowers and chockies, but you are learning the value of money the hard way.the chores round the house pay for your board and food and the clothes, from the parents. good luck in college,and next time confidentiallity . and 50 is min wage.puss cat liked you, and wanted to give you two more.and who could be ashamed of their child who did all that, honestly. you are a good kid and will do well in their grades, hope your proud of you,you could have stolen many times. but you didnt. youll have the honors to one day, great job with the flowers too. keep up the study;-]
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posted over a year ago 
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