21 Things That Will Definitely Happen Before “The Winds Of Winter” Release  

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1. Leonardo di Caprio will win his second Academy Award.

3. The entire Carter family will triple-headline Super Bowl LXIX.

4. Natalie Dormer will take over for Diana Rigg in the role of Olenna Tyrell, in

Game of Thrones’ sixtieth consecutive filler season.

5. California will do what it’s been planning all along and just snap off to float around the Pacific Ocean forever.

6. Macaroni and cheese will cease to be delicious, somehow.

7. McDonalds and Burger King will actually merge to become KING MCDONALD, your sentient burger overlord.

8. You’ll actually stop thinking about that embarrassing thing you did in the seventh grade.

Kidz Bop 4,567 will come out on holodisk and include the hit tracks “Remember Earth?” and “We Live On The Moon Now.”

10. Firefly will come back on air, and we find out that Wash wasn’t dead, just sleeping.

11. Pigs will surpass us technologically and domesticate humanity, thus changing the phrase to “when people fly.”

Thor movie, that’s coming out in 2017. Way too early.

14. You, yes YOU, will disappear from the realm of human memory as your children’s’ children’s’ children forget your full name.

19. Kim Kardashian will delete her Instagram account and renounce all selfies forever.

Harry Potter reboot will come out where the only difference is Dumbledore -calmly- asks Harry if he put his name in the Goblet of Fire.

21. “When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east. When the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves. When [Daenerys’] womb quickens again and she bears another child.”

That is when The Winds of Winter will be released.

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21 Things That Will Definitely Happen Before "The Winds Of Winter" Release

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